Those are issues that no amount of couples counseling is going to be able to fix. As for the pregnancy, your body, your choice. No one can tell you what's right for you.
I don't understand how this post, which is probably fake, could possibly change someone's stance on abortion
If anything, she strengthens my pro-choice stance.
She -doesn't- need children.
Oddly enough, it brings out my "pro-life" side. Just the fact that she would take a baby's life because she and her husband are idiots, its beyond comprehension. As someone who waited 7 years for a baby to come along, I'm sure there's a mommy-in-waiting on the TTC board who would be more than happy to give this baby a better home than this screwed up OP would.
This brings my pro-life side out as well. It's not the baby's fault. There are so many couples out there who would have loved to have this baby for their own. It's selfish and a quick-fix to a horrible mistake.
I have no comment on if this post is real or not. If it is, then this is what I have to add. The only way counseling will do anything is if both you and your husband are willing to grow up and start living in your marriage as if you are actually married. If you are both willing to change, then counseling can help. If you both want to continue living selfishly, without communication, and without commitment, the relationship is doomed.
If you both decide you're willing to change and commit to each other, then I have seen marriages in worse situations come back and become beautiful, committed, life-long relationships. (Hard to believe, but it's true.) It's a rough road, but it's worth it. If you're not, please try to figure out how you will both be mature and put your child's needs before your own through-out the process of divorce and co-parenting. Your child deserves nothing less.
Your first mistake was staying married to the type of person who would think that an abortion is a suitable substitution for marriage counseling. Your second mistake was continuing to be the type of person who would think that an abortion is a suitable substitution for marriage counseling.
I don't think that it is unreasonable to abort a pregnancy that you entered into against your will, but if you ever have sex with this man ever again then you forfeit any sort of absolution that you might be holding onto currently.
Leave. Now.
Your choices are to either continue you life as a single person or continue your life as a single parent. Make the choice that you think is best, but don't make it out of spite.
And seek counseling immediately. Individual counseling. Immediately.
Maybe this is MUD, but there are a lot of lost, morally bankrupt people in the world so I'm not about to take that for granted.
As for the pro-choice, pro-life mess: There are a lot of choices that I wouldn't make for myself but I respect the right of others to make for themselves. And that's how I manage to live with my neighbor's Confederate flag.
If there was any more mud in here we'd need two half naked chicks wrestling for a bunch drunk college-aged idiots.
Little Man (4 years old---holy cow) He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
I don't understand how this post, which is probably fake, could possibly change someone's stance on abortion
If anything, she strengthens my pro-choice stance.
She -doesn't- need children.
Oddly enough, it brings out my "pro-life" side. Just the fact that she would take a baby's life because she and her husband are idiots, its beyond comprehension. As someone who waited 7 years for a baby to come along, I'm sure there's a mommy-in-waiting on the TTC board who would be more than happy to give this baby a better home than this screwed up OP would.
This brings my pro-life side out as well. It's not the baby's fault. There are so many couples out there who would have loved to have this baby for their own. It's selfish and a quick-fix to a horrible mistake.
Oh boy, someone pulled out the "there are so many childless couples" card.
First of all, everybody makes mistakes. When you married your husband you each promised each other to dedicate yourself to the other for better AND worse and this just might feel like "worse" right now. If it were me in your spot, I would just do all I could to remind myself that my husband and I are a team and that we work together. He broke that trust, yes, but you are still a team. I know you've got to be so angry but remember to still love him because he honestly probably thought he was doing something for the best.
Hang in there and I am so sorry it happened like this but you are still bringing something beautiful into your life, your marriage, and your family here; there is so much beauty in that.
2. If not, get yourselves to counseling stat. Deception and an affair do not seem like a fortuitous start to a new baby's life...
I definitely agree to point #2. And I don't get all these abbreviations. I'm a counselor and recommend at least some sort of dialog between you and your significant other.
As far as aborting the baby to spite him, I again suggest counseling before such a drastic measure is taken. Both having and not having the baby are huge decisions that should be discussed at length between your partner and you.
Re: Help and advice needed
This.
Those are issues that no amount of couples counseling is going to be able to fix. As for the pregnancy, your body, your choice. No one can tell you what's right for you.
This brings my pro-life side out as well. It's not the baby's fault. There are so many couples out there who would have loved to have this baby for their own. It's selfish and a quick-fix to a horrible mistake.
I have no comment on if this post is real or not. If it is, then this is what I have to add. The only way counseling will do anything is if both you and your husband are willing to grow up and start living in your marriage as if you are actually married. If you are both willing to change, then counseling can help. If you both want to continue living selfishly, without communication, and without commitment, the relationship is doomed.
If you both decide you're willing to change and commit to each other, then I have seen marriages in worse situations come back and become beautiful, committed, life-long relationships. (Hard to believe, but it's true.) It's a rough road, but it's worth it. If you're not, please try to figure out how you will both be mature and put your child's needs before your own through-out the process of divorce and co-parenting. Your child deserves nothing less.
Get out now.
Your first mistake was staying married to the type of person who would think that an abortion is a suitable substitution for marriage counseling. Your second mistake was continuing to be the type of person who would think that an abortion is a suitable substitution for marriage counseling.
I don't think that it is unreasonable to abort a pregnancy that you entered into against your will, but if you ever have sex with this man ever again then you forfeit any sort of absolution that you might be holding onto currently.
Leave. Now.
Your choices are to either continue you life as a single person or continue your life as a single parent. Make the choice that you think is best, but don't make it out of spite.
And seek counseling immediately. Individual counseling. Immediately.
Maybe this is MUD, but there are a lot of lost, morally bankrupt people in the world so I'm not about to take that for granted.
As for the pro-choice, pro-life mess: There are a lot of choices that I wouldn't make for myself but I respect the right of others to make for themselves. And that's how I manage to live with my neighbor's Confederate flag.He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Um, hello people. She was trying to use birth control this time around, her husband screwed that one up, so your arguments make absolutely no sense.
My advice: Get an abortion and get divorced.
First of all, everybody makes mistakes. When you married your husband you each promised each other to dedicate yourself to the other for better AND worse and this just might feel like "worse" right now. If it were me in your spot, I would just do all I could to remind myself that my husband and I are a team and that we work together. He broke that trust, yes, but you are still a team. I know you've got to be so angry but remember to still love him because he honestly probably thought he was doing something for the best.
Hang in there and I am so sorry it happened like this but you are still bringing something beautiful into your life, your marriage, and your family here; there is so much beauty in that.
Ali
https://theduggans2011.blogspot.com/
I definitely agree to point #2. And I don't get all these abbreviations. I'm a counselor and recommend at least some sort of dialog between you and your significant other.
As far as aborting the baby to spite him, I again suggest counseling before such a drastic measure is taken. Both having and not having the baby are huge decisions that should be discussed at length between your partner and you.