March 2012 Moms

Why am I oversensitive about name suggestions?

It irritated me to no end when I was pregnant with DD that everyone wanted to rattle off a list of names for me to "yea" or "nay".  Then when I'd share our short list, they'd tell us which they didn't like.  We ended up naming DD what most people didn't like and it was very uncomfortable.  This time, the discussion is between DH and I.  We don't even talk about it around DD.  DD nicknamed LO Baby Roar (no clue why) and it's stuck.  Every time I call her that, people pipe in with "You can't call a child Roar!" or "How about __________?" or "I looked up meanings for ___________."  I'm not an idiot.  I'm not going to name my kid Roar.  And I didn't ask for opinions.  We've made it perfect clear we don't name our babies until we meet them, and believe it is just DH and my decision.  It just infuriates me, and I'm sure I'm being unreasonable.  I don't snap at anyone (except my mom!) about it, and I guess I'm just venting to you.  
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Re: Why am I oversensitive about name suggestions?

  • We nicknamed our LO "Tomato". People actually asked if that was the baby name we were going with. I kind of did the head tilt at that - of course not

    I think the sensitivity may come from a combination of defensiveness ("do you seriously think I am stupid enough to do that??") and frustration because it's your kid and your final word! 

    The Semi-SAHM Blog


    March 8, 2012 - our little Tomato made his debut!
    C-section, FF, CD, SAHM

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  • I feel the same way!  We got lots of name suggestions over Christmas and I tried to just say 'that sounds nice, we'll put it on the list' and change the subject, but it was driving me nuts.  I am almost LESS likely to pick a name if someone keeps pushing it on me.  There's one name in particular that my sister is obsessed with and I actually do like it, but she keeps bringing it up and it's getting on my nerves, I almost don't want to pick it and then hear her gloat for years about how she picked the name. I also get frustrated when people randomly bash names that we haven't brought up.  What am I supposed to say if we're actually thinking about using that name? Grr. I think it's pregnancy hormones making me irritated with everything.

     For the record, I think Roar would be an adorable name, maybe a nickname for Rory :)

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  • You're not oversensitive - people just need to get off the topic already and take a hint! It's not up for debate!

    Or, perhaps I am also oversensitive. Big Smile It is just so annoying though - and I'm sure we all got a lot of suggestions over the holidays while seeing family.

    Alex has arrived! 9 pounds, 21 inches - 3 weeks early on March 2nd ~went natural - very intense. whew!~
  • It is very annoying and I don't think you are being oversensitive it's other people thinking they actually get to have an opinion what you name your child. I have never been like this ever. I have never told someone their baby name was dumb, or made a suggestion on what I think they should name the baby. The only time I have given my opinion is when I was asked. I just think it is silly and irritating for people to do this. We are keeping our baby's name a secret until she is here just for this reason. Because I don't want to hear the opinions of everyone who doesn't matter. DH and I matter and if we like the name and it fits her, then that's her name. BTW, we have named our baby "baby pink peanut" Mostly because we were calling the baby little peanut before, and now we know she is a girl so it's pink peanut. I even had my mother tell me that peanut doesn't sound feminine enough and maybe we should call her "cashew" Seriously mom? it's her nickname while she is in the womb, wth does it matter what we choose to call her?

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    BFP in June 2011, DD born in 2012

    Joined the baby train again 8/2013. First month, out due to re-diganosis of Hashimotos.

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  • Totally not out of line.

    DH and I call LO "Troublemaker" but just to ourselves. So many people (friends, family, coworkers) have asked us what we plan on naming the baby. I'll alternately say that we aren't telling anyone (which annoys people for some reason) or that we don't know.

    Even when we don't say anything, people come up with lists of names they want us to consider, or just names they like.

    We're probably not going to spread it widely, but I think we're ready to tell some people the name (anybody who pressured us doesn't get to know because I don't want to hear complaints if they don't like it).
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  • Rory isn't an option :)  I worked for a man named Rory from '98-'06, and DH worked for the same man from '01-'10.  He was a pretty influential person in our lives, but DH's colleagues would never let him live it down if we name our little girl after the man, even if that's not our intention!  I do think it'd be funny though :)
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  • I do the same thing- we quit sharing our name ideas because no one liked the ones we liked, and they kept giving us other ideas.  Have your own baby and name them what you want.  We haven't told our parents our top 2 yet...
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  • Your post is exactly why I am glad my DH and I have made the decision not to share any of our name possibilities....not even the general list of ideas.  I told my FIL this and it seemed to annoy him, but I do not care.  I told him that we do not want anyone's opinions because everyone will have an opinion or a feeling on any name we decide to "leak" to them, and we don't want their feelings to contaminate ours.  After seeming annoyed, he said, "Well, that's OK, we all had our chance to name our babies, you guys should have yours too."  Yes, you're right, we should.  Maybe mine is a very direct approach, but people have quit asking nearly as much because they know where we stand on it.
  • I don't think you're overreacting.  I don't know why people think they have a right to share their thoughts on names.  We had a growth scan about a month ago and I told the u/s tech that we call Baby A Scooby and Baby B Scrappy.  She asked if we knew what we were having and I said 'yes, they are girls' and she was like 'then why are you calling them Scooby and Scrappy?'  I told her that we have names picked out, but we haven't 100% decided which girl will get which name. She was very upset about this and told me that Scooby and Scrappy were not appropriate names or nicknames for little girls and that my babies would be upset if they knew we called them that.  WTF, lady?  I just said 'well, I guess that's a chance I'll have to take'

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    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    Dx w/PCOS in 1997, TTC #1 from 1/09-7/11
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    I got pregnant with twins on IVF #1. Twin girls born at 36 weeks 2/24/2012
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