1st Trimester

Terrified of Breastfeeding...?

I just read the article about Wal mart pulling formula after a newborn's death (though they are unsure if the formula was the cause) and it has scared me into considering breastfeeding, but I am very uncomfortable with the idea (for myself).

I understand that it is natural and healthy (and cheap!) and I don't mind seeing others bf or what not, but FOR MYSELF, I absolutely hate the idea.

I can not stand the idea of someone needing me for food. I can not stand the idea of my breasts being used for food. I feel so strongly against it (for myself) that I'm afraid (and almost sure) it would breed resentment (for me). - Which is why I did not nurse the first time around. Because I feel like resenting my child and my motherhood is not healthy and I know that sometimes nursing is not an option at all and formula has to be used, so I know that it is not the devil (and don't try to convince me that it is!).

BUT, this time around I'm already more paranoid and now I've read that article and...

Anyone else felt this way before nursing and felt differently after? I sincerely hate the idea of nursing (for myself). But feel so scared now about what could be in formula...


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Re: Terrified of Breastfeeding...?

  • Have you looked into using goats milk instead of formula? I never felt that way about nursing, in fact I'm still nursing my10 month old. The benefits of breastfeeding, including that fact that it's free far outweighed any desire to not breastfeed.
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  • Firstly, I'm a pediatric nurse and we use formula all the time.  Breastfeeding is absolutely fantastic for babies, but not every woman feels like they can do it.  That is your choice.  If you feel so unsure what about pumping?  Most people I've talked to were unsure and then loved it.  So much bonding.  But it sounds like you have quite an aversion to it.  Talk to a pediatrician about your fears of formula, not a news article about a death that may or may not be from formula.  
  • I breastfed my son till he was 13.5 months old. I always knew I wanted to but was a little bit weirded out by it as well. Once I started though all the weirdness kind of went away. It felt natural and for me, was super easy to do. It was an awesome way to bond and snuggle with him as well. 

    Its not for everyone though but I wouldn't completely knock it till you try. If you try it and its not want you wanted then stop. No harm done! 

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  • You can always try it and see what you think. I have really enjoyed nursing my daughter for the past 11 months. It IS challenging sometimes, but it's also a wonderful part of our relationship.

    You could try it for 1 week or 1 month and then decide if you'd like to continue. Just know that the first days and weeks are the most challenging as you and baby get the hang of it.

    There's nothing wrong with babies needing their mamas. Oh, and as PP's have mentioned, pumping may be a good option for you, though I personally see pumping as a lot more challenging than breastfeeding (and I only pump at work when I'm away from DD - I can't imagine how much harder it is to do it FT).

    Best of luck! Make the best decision for your baby, as only you can! 

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    BFP #3 5/13/12 (Mother's Day!) | EDD 1/23/13 | Natural M/C 6/9/12 (blighted ovum discovered 6/7/12 at 7w1d)
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  • if you're on facebook, check out the Leaky boob- super supportive group about breastfeeding.  I thought I'd do a few months until teeth came then be done w/ it- since that's what my mom did with me- however after the initial    hmmm, this is weird and a little uncomfortable,  it was a bonding time that couldn't be matched.  I ended up going 15 months with my first and about 20 months w/ my second.  Never had to buy formula, but started introducing milk at a year for both.  To be honest- the sole source of food thing is not always easy to deal with and I'm considering doing a bottle of formula every once in a while just to not worry about pumping this time around, but we'll see if I can go through with that- just be open to trying it- there are plenty of women who are iffy about it and end up loving it.  Like I said though- maybe set a goal of a few weeks then all the newness stuff will be over and you can decide w/ a clear head.  You won't regret trying it, but you very well may if you don't.
  • Nope, never felt that way. Most women would be OVERJOYED to provide that for their child...
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  • I loved BFing. You never have to worry about packing formula for a day out or preparing bottles, or warming bottles in the middle of the night. There are also chemicals in your breast milk when you are tired that makes the baby tired. There are a lot of benefits to BFing.

    I would really recommend a BFing class. It might open you up to the idea of BFing.  


  • Why don't you give it a try instead of assuming you will hate it? Or try pumping? 

    There are so many advantages for your baby in breast milk, especially colostrum. At least give it a chance! 

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  • image WeWearCombatBoots:
    Nope, never felt that way. Most women would be OVERJOYED to provide that for their child...

    Confused 

     

    Don't worry yourself about formula because of this one case. The article I read said that the batch was tested before it went out and was negative for bacteria. There is no way of knowing whether the water used was sterilized or that the bottles were cleaned properly. Not to mention how many babies are formula fed, and only this one child has contracted and died from this bacteria (unfortunately). They're only taking precautions.

    Like other PP said, you could also try BFing. You never know how you will actually feel about it until you try. Pumping is also an option. Don;t limit yourself, but in the end you can only do what you feel is best for you and your LO. What anyone else thinks you should or shouldn't do is irrelevant.

     

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  • image theunplannedparent:

    I just read the article about Wal mart pulling formula after a newborn's death (though they are unsure if the formula was the cause) and it has scared me into considering breastfeeding, but I am very uncomfortable with the idea (for myself).

    I understand that it is natural and healthy (and cheap!) and I don't mind seeing others bf or what not, but FOR MYSELF, I absolutely hate the idea.

    I can not stand the idea of someone needing me for food. I can not stand the idea of my breasts being used for food. I feel so strongly against it (for myself) that I'm afraid (and almost sure) it would breed resentment (for me). - Which is why I did not nurse the first time around. Because I feel like resenting my child and my motherhood is not healthy and I know that sometimes nursing is not an option at all and formula has to be used, so I know that it is not the devil (and don't try to convince me that it is!).

    BUT, this time around I'm already more paranoid and now I've read that article and...

    Anyone else felt this way before nursing and felt differently after? I sincerely hate the idea of nursing (for myself). But feel so scared now about what could be in formula...


    what??? Your baby needs you for food regardless of the form in which the baby is eating.

    If you knew better, you'd do better.
  • That's what your breasts are there for...
  • If you want to give breast feeding or pumping a chance, then do try it. It might not be as terrifying to you once your baby is here. But also, don't beat yourself up if you can't manage it. Your baby will still get food, you will still bond with your baby (or else no fathers would ever bond with their babies), and there will be plenty of new things to be worried about. 

    Please note that no matter how politic you try to be about why you make whatever decision you make, you will certainly be shamed for it by someone. This is your family and your decision. Keep that in mind. Best of luck!  

    TTC since March 2010 BFP 11/18/11 DD born 8/6/12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Maybe if you took a lactation class it would seem a bit less scary to you? And in the hospital they might have a specialist who could help you try it for the first time. Sometimes things seem less scary when you actually do them. If this is your first baby I'm sure there are going to be a lot of scary things about it, but this feeling might change when you look at your little one.

    I'm not saying you have to, but I'm just saying you might want to give it a change.

    An additional bonus of breast feeding is it's supposed to help you shed that baby weight fast. :)

  • Go to Kellymom.com and read about the benefits of breastfeeding.  That may help you overcome some of your fears.  I wasn't able to nurse directly because my son was tongue tied.  I ended up exclusively pumping because of all of the benefits I have read about breast milk.  With that said, many babies drink formula and they are just fine.  If you chose to go with formula I would just stick to the main brands (like similac or enfamil) and I think things would be fine.
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  • Breastfeeding is kind of weird, and kind of gross, and most certainly kind of awkward. And it really really hurts at first. For weeks.

    But I wouldn't trade the 14 months of BFing my daughter for anything. After the first few weeks, it just comes naturally and you don't have to buy formula, or look for a clean bottle, or do extra dishes. If you're around, you don't have to worry about your kid going hungry. It's extremely reassuring.

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  • image kdm06c:

    I breastfed my son till he was 13.5 months old. I always knew I wanted to but was a little bit weirded out by it as well. Once I started though all the weirdness kind of went away. It felt natural and for me, was super easy to do. It was an awesome way to bond and snuggle with him as well. 

    Its not for everyone though but I wouldn't completely knock it till you try. If you try it and its not want you wanted then stop. No harm done! 

    This EXACTLY! My DD wouldn't take a bottle at all so I HAD to breastfeed but now I wouldn't have had it any other way! 

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  • Breastfeeding can be challenging.  For me it wasn't easy. But the benefits for my child outweighed any difficulty I was having.  In the end, it was such a bonding experience with my baby that I was sad to stop.  I agree with the other ladies that say, at least try! Even if you only do it long enough for the baby to get the colostrum (sp?) before the milk comes in, it will be so good for the baby:)
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  • I would consider taking some breastfeeding classes and learning what exactly the benefits of breastfeeding are for your body and for baby. It's truly amazing, it's what our bodies were meant for. I'm not judging, I think you should do whatever you feel is right for you and your baby but posts like this make me sad.
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  • I'm a huge proponent of BF and would encourage you to take some classes and maybe read up on it a bit more. La Leche League has some good books.

    That being said, it's not for everyone and don't let anyone shame you into doing it if it's something you're really averse to. As long as your baby gets fed, that is the important thing.

    2 girls and a dog
  • image Kelbelle212@YAHOO.COM:
    That's what your breasts are there for...

    THIS. 

    My two littles.
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  • I was a little nervous too. But hormones help. Every time i nursed a felt great. It was like a rush of hormones that just relaxed me. I also really enjoyed the bonding i felt, that outweighed any of the anxieties i had about breastfeeding. I was actually really sad to quit, and i NEVER thought in a million years i would have felt that way.
    BFP #1 03/2010 EDD 11/18/2010 DD born 11/03/2010 BFP #2 12/02/2011 CP on 12/05/2011 BFP #3 12/28/2011 EDD 09/10/2012 Missed mc @ 9w3d on 02/09/2012 D&C 03/06/2012 BFP #4 04/24/2012 EDD 01/02/2013 CP on 04/29/2012
  • image meangene:

    Breastfeeding is kind of weird, and kind of gross, and most certainly kind of awkward. And it really really hurts at first. For weeks.

    I'm not sure what's gross about it, exactly, but to each their own :)

    I just wanted to say that it doesn't hurt SO BADLY FOR WEEKS for everyone. I know I am in the minority, but I am here to say it's entirely possible to have a very comfortable breastfeeding experience without pain. 

    claudia poirier
    Little Dude: 16 Apr. 2009 | Little Doll: 10 Jun. 2012

  • I felt this way, I understand.Weirdness went away immediately in the hospital

    We had latch issues and an abscess, so I I EP instead (5.5 months so far), and i couldnt be more proud.

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  • image heather_09_15_07:


    That being said, it's not for everyone and don't let anyone shame you into doing it if it's something you're really averse to. As long as your baby gets fed, that is the important thing.

    THIS

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  • I formula fed my first and will FF my second. Breastfeeding is NOT for me at all. I read the article too and thought, oh that's really sad. But, it wouldn't convince me to change my entire thought process around. It's terrible, but sometimes our food in dangerous. Remember the cantaloupe outbreak a few months ago? My DD eats it like it's going out of style. I refuse to live in fear of everything out there.

    You need to do what is best for you and in turn that will be what is best for your baby.  

  • IF and only IF the OP feels like she had to BF to feel OK given her fears of formula, she should talk to a doctor. DO NOT take a breastfeeding class or talk to a lactation consultant.  The breastfeeding advocates are relentless zealots who know which buttons to push to make you feel like absolute garbage and a failure as a human being and unfit as a mother if you don't or can't BF.

    I couldn't BF. I tried for weeks, but my milk never came in due to a pre-existing condition that, after the fact, they all said would probably affect my ability to BF (of course, prior to failure, it "shouldn't be a problem at all if you try!").  I used to cry when I fed my daughter formula.  I wished she die of SIDS because the BF freaks had me convinced she was going to be a slow learner, have a lower IQ, get sick all the time, be disconnected from me, have ADD and a bunch of other developmental problems and it was all my fault.  I was breastfed. My IQ is MENSA-qualifying.  I never get sick.  How dare I give her a start to life that was so second-rate to mine? She would be better off dead.

    I had to go for counseling to undo the damage these people do.  The BF advocates are fighting a war that doesn't exist.  Anyone with a brain knows, objectively, that BFing is natural and good, but it doesn't always work for any number of reasons.  Science has given us an option so that babies who can't BF don't starve to death. It's a good option.

    So... if the OP really needs to BF for her peace of mind, she should talk to a doctor or therapist about her aversion.  I get it.  She thinks producing something someone else eats is nasty.  The only thing we "produce" normally is excrement. I get it. It's OK.  If you need to get over this because of your fear of formula, talk to someone who specialized in psychological issues like this.  If you want to FF, that's fine, too.

  • One of the benefits of breast feeding that convinced me is that the immunity I have, gets passed to my baby so it is immune to MUCH more than if I were to use formula. 

     

    Im still quite anxious about breastfeeding and will def use the lactation specialist the hospital has available.  

     

    The other thing is that a hormone is released when you breastfeed which is a bonding hormone which helps with bonding with your baby.  

  • image 8yearslater:

    IF and only IF the OP feels like she had to BF to feel OK given her fears of formula, she should talk to a doctor. DO NOT take a breastfeeding class or talk to a lactation consultant.  The breastfeeding advocates are relentless zealots who know which buttons to push to make you feel like absolute garbage and a failure as a human being and unfit as a mother if you don't or can't BF.

    I couldn't BF. I tried for weeks, but my milk never came in due to a pre-existing condition that, after the fact, they all said would probably affect my ability to BF (of course, prior to failure, it "shouldn't be a problem at all if you try!").  I used to cry when I fed my daughter formula.  I wished she die of SIDS because the BF freaks had me convinced she was going to be a slow learner, have a lower IQ, get sick all the time, be disconnected from me, have ADD and a bunch of other developmental problems and it was all my fault.  I was breastfed. My IQ is MENSA-qualifying.  I never get sick.  How dare I give her a start to life that was so second-rate to mine? She would be better off dead.

    I had to go for counseling to undo the damage these people do.  The BF advocates are fighting a war that doesn't exist.  Anyone with a brain knows, objectively, that BFing is natural and good, but it doesn't always work for any number of reasons.  Science has given us an option so that babies who can't BF don't starve to death. It's a good option.

    So... if the OP really needs to BF for her peace of mind, she should talk to a doctor or therapist about her aversion.  I get it.  She thinks producing something someone else eats is nasty.  The only thing we "produce" normally is excrement. I get it. It's OK.  If you need to get over this because of your fear of formula, talk to someone who specialized in psychological issues like this.  If you want to FF, that's fine, too.

    I'm sorry that you had a rough start. It sounds like you were dealing with a lot, including a lack of good support. However, it is not the normal experience for LCs to make you feel like your baby would be better off dead than FF. All LCs are not the same, and I'm not discounting the possibility that you had a bad one, but it sounds like there were other issues at play in your circumstances.

    OP- I do think it'd be a good idea for you to check out a La Leche League meeting in your area, or a local BFing class, or even just a book about BFing. To an extent, I understand where you're coming from. I really wanted to give it a try, though, because I know that it's good for my baby and it's what my body us meant to do. I'm nursing LO to sleep as I type this :)

    Like PPs said, why not think about giving it a try? Every day you BF is beneficial to your baby and if you decide you'd rather give formula, no harm no foul. Do what's best for your family, not because one news story scared you and not because someone is guilting you, but because you made an informed choice and decided what was best.

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