My cousin (who I am very close to) told me she was pregnant. I know it was somewhat a surprise because they were waiting until June to try for a Spring baby (weird concept).
She told me by phone while she was on her way over to hang out. She was afraid I would be able to tell because of bloat. Anyway, I'm glad she told me on the phone because I teared up but was able to talk and say the right things! I actually felt bad for her because she was so worried about telling me. She knows how long we have been wanting #2 and she know we just got back DHs zero count SA.
Anyway, I cried about it several times yesterday. It felt so weird. I have teared up a time or two over announcements but I have never been like this. I guess because I will always look at her wanting to be in her shoes. I also used to want to tell family at Christmas and now she's getting to do it. She is now having baby number 2 and I'm still not! I have the oldest grand kid and now I'm watching my cousins fly by me. I want to be clear that I am very, very happy for her, her dh and dd (who is a year to the day younger than mine).
So, the good that came from this. After several conversation with dh last night and sleeping in my self pity I have come to realize I really just want to be a mom again. I feel like I am 100% in a place to start thinking about donor sperm. We still want to get DH one more SA but, if it is zero again I am okay with moving onto donor sperm. I originally wanted dh to have a urologist "cut his balls" (dhs words) to try to find sperm (dh reluctantly agreed) but, I don't have that strong feeling anymore.
So, that was way longer than it should have been The hardest pg announcement I received has turned into a reality check for me in a good way. I just wanted to share!