1st Trimester

Upset beyond words

So we haven't told our families yet because we want to wait until after the dr's appt and we have a cute idea of how to tell them at Christmas.

Well....work has been pretty rough since having DD. I have always worked 50 hours a week sometimes more if we have a lot going on. I'm the Director of Sales so I have inside sales, outside sales, events, etc. A LOT! Well when I get off at night I only have 2 or 3 hours with her til its her bedtime, then I have to work on the weekends sometimes too. I want more time with her. So, I went to talk to my boss about leaving and going somewhere's else because I want to spend more time with DD and I also told her that I was expecting again, but it was not to be told to anyone. I did not want her to think I didn't love my job (because I do) I just wanted her to realize how hard it is being away from DD and that it will only get harder. Well, she told me she completely understood and that she would work with me if I wanted because they needed me. She told me to think it over and get back with her on Monday (this was Saturday) and that she wouldn't make any moves or anything till she had my final decision.

This afternoon I get to work late (had to take DD for her 4 month checkup) and the girl at the Front Desk (Yes, I work in a hotel) told me congratulations. I asked what for and she said "you're pregnant right". I of course didn't get mad at her because she didn't know any better. I asked her who told her and she said one of the housekeepers. Long story short all of the housekeepers know, the asst. GM, the Food & Beverage mgr and all of the front desk (the entire hotel).  I call the GM and confront her about it. She straight lies to me and tells me that it must be my assistant that told (which I know it isn't). Forgot to mention I told my assistant. Had to...We share and office and I keep puking every morning. LOL! 

Anyways, DH told me to walk out, but I just can't do it. I've worked very hard to get to where I am and I can't just burn a bridge.

I think this is more a vent than anything because I can't exactly call family or friends and tell them whats going on. DH is great, but times like this you just want to talk to a female (my sister).

My sister sometimes helps out when we have a lot going on and bartends for us. Well this weekend she is working here so I do not want her to find out another way and if I approach everyone at work and say you can't tell my sister I will look like a horrible person. So we are inviting my sister and her husband over tonight and going to tell them. The rest of the family will just be out of the loop until Christmas.

UGH! I'm so pissed! 

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Re: Upset beyond words

  • I would have been livid!!!

    But good for you for not walking out.

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • That sucks!!

    Are you SURE it wasn't your assistant, who maybe told a friend of hers, thinking she wouldn't tell?

    I want to believe that your boss wouldn't do that...and would have more discretion. 

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    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker




    TTC #1 August 2010


    BFP Nov. 27, 2011


    Annabelle born August 3, 2012
  • image MrsT0522:

    That sucks!!

    Are you SURE it wasn't your assistant, who maybe told a friend of hers, thinking she wouldn't tell?

    I want to believe that your boss wouldn't do that...and would have more discretion. 

    Yes, I am positive because when I called to confront her she of course lied, but immediately got on the phone calling my asst along with the other managers to do damage control.  Told me she didn't tell anyone...well why would you have to call everyone???

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  • Wow. She's walking a thin, legal line by telling other employees about your situation. She's your supervisor & you told her in confidence....
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    It's a Boy!
  • I am not an attorney or a human resources manager, but your employer may have violated your privacy rights. 

    Personally, I would have a conversation with the HR person at my office to see if I have any recourse.  If it is not a violation of your privacy rights, your HR generalist could at least have a conversation with your employer about her behavior being inappropriate.  It may be useful for any future employees who find themselves in the same situation.

    Usually I'm pretty tame, but I am not putting up with BS as it applies to pregnancy and my employment rights.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image GreenMonkey1:

    I am not an attorney or a human resources manager, but your employer may have violated your privacy rights. 

    Personally, I would have a conversation with the HR person at my office to see if I have any recourse.  If it is not a violation of your privacy rights, your HR generalist could at least have a conversation with your employer about her behavior being inappropriate.  It may be useful for any future employees who find themselves in the same situation.

    Usually I'm pretty tame, but I am not putting up with BS as it applies to pregnancy and my employment rights.

     

    We don't have an HR department. What else could I do? I'm not usually the type, but I am so livid this time! 

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  • My MIL told everyone at my job! So I'm in a sort of similar boat, because DH and I wanted to keep this private until the end of the first trimester. Oi..
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Wow.  That is a blatant HIPPA violation if I've ever heard one.  Look up the HIPPA work laws on the Internet and see if you have any recourse.
    Married August 23, 2008!

    My little angel RIP August 12, 2010 - September 5, 2010

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • HIPAA laws pertain to your healthcare provider or insurer disclosing your medical information, not your employer.  Depending on your state, it is probably a violation of the workplace privacy act.
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  • Actually, HIPAA does cover some workplace privacy items, depending on where you work and what it is.

    Either way, it's covered by some federal mandate.

    Married August 23, 2008!

    My little angel RIP August 12, 2010 - September 5, 2010

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • I have worked in so many positions in the hotel- trust me, pretty much the only person who can do anything is the owner.... or corporate. If it is a major hotel (holiday inn, choice hotels, wyndham, etc.) then corporate has an HR department that covers you as well... if it's a smaller hotel with no brand name... the owner is the only person who would be able to do anything... and normally they won't... quite honestly. Hotels are run by 'the big boys club' meaning that you have to be careful who you speak with... because one wrong word to the wrong person and you're looking at getting fired for something they completely make up. Just be careful and talk to whomever you need... just be careful.
  • I was tracking this story...curious to see how it turned out with your sister. Let us know. I have been on the short end of some foul play at work, and I have seen a lot too. Doesn't seize to maze me, but one thing is true..."you have to watch out for you at work", GL.
    Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.
    Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Lin Yutang

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  • image Happy=Avacado:
    I was tracking this story...curious to see how it turned out with your sister. Let us know. I have been on the short end of some foul play at work, and I have seen a lot too. Doesn't seize to maze me, but one thing is true..."you have to watch out for you at work", GL.

    Good to know you won't seize while doing a maze.

    ReEJ0_zps6dd84224-1_zps84bb6de7 photo ReEJ0_zps6dd84224-1_zps84bb6de7.jpg photo f42.jpg photo grumpy-cat-christmas-meme-5.jpg
                                        Tessa: 10/28/10                    Nora 8/30/12                            Reid 8/6/14
  • Funny typo hehe.....
    Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.
    Inspirational Quotes on Mothers Day by: Lin Yutang

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  • I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this.  In the future you now have a lesson learned.  If you dont want to have the secret out, DONT TELL ANYONE AT WORK!  Especially if there is no HR department.  Its surprising what some companies will do.  I just had a traumatic experience working for a company with no HR for almost 2 years.  One of the girls at work became pregnant, and EVERYONE was gossiping about her behind her back.  The gossip was led by one of the main supervisors (who was obviously missing a maturity chip).  I refused to participate in any conversation although provoked to provide my opinion on several occassions by said supervisor.  I maintained that it was none of my business.  I knew coming from the corporate world that there are MAJOR violations attached to talking about such topics.  I would definetly call the labor board and ask about your rights in the situation.  Unfortunately, the company ended up firing the coworker who was pregnant, and then denying her unemployment by falsifying information.  I was amazed and sickened by the news.  I remain frustrated because there is nothing that i can do about it.  In the future, until you know your rights, keep your mouth closed. Because no matter how nice they are to you during the work day, they dont care anything about you.
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