2nd Trimester

My friend just called me fat. (PIP)

I was over at a friend's house today, and she says to me, "Wow, this is the first time I've seen you actually looking pregnant!" And I said jokingly, "What, so up until now I've just looked fat?" She shrugged her shoulders and said, "Well yeah, I mean it was hard to tell during those first 6 months of pregnancy whether you were pregnant or had just eaten too many donuts!"

Now, fair enough, for the first 4 months or so I definitely looked like I had eaten one (or 10) too many donuts, but as far as I can tell, I think I've "looked" pregnant for at least the last few weeks or so, particularly if you know what I usually look like.... She sees me at least once a week so she definitely has something to compare me to. Here's a picture of me at about 19 weeks.

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I know it's not the perfect bump or anything, and I've definitely gained weight in places other than my belly, but do I really not look pregnant? I think I'm feeling a bit self-conscious about my weight gain and feel like my friend sort of (unintentionally I'm sure) hit a sore spot....

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Re: My friend just called me fat. (PIP)

  • I wouldn't listen to her.  It looks like all baby to me.  You definetely look pregnant!
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  • FWIW, I don't think she meant it that way. Of course, you know her better than I do. You def look pregnant!
    First came love, then came marriage - Oct 31, 09
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  • You look fantastic!! Ignore that comment!
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    Oct 15 '09 loss @ 8w5d
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  • Once you are officially pregnant  you are apparently fair game for all the weight comments and they don't seem to care if they are crossing the line lol

    I had one woman at work giving me sideways glances all day for weeks and asking all of my friends if I was preggers, was I married and allsorts.. drove me crazy.  I could see her out of the corner of my eye all day staring at me from across the aisle. Thankfully they finally moved her before I said something rude lol. 

    Another lady I work with was called into the office and reprimanded for congratulating someone on her pregnancy..she was being nice.. unfortunately the lady wasn't pregnant. Ooops

    You look adorable ... I think pregnant women are easy to spot from people packing a bit extra. It's not a weight thing or a looks thing so much as an attitude and certain things baby mamas do. The protective hand in public /crowded places is a giveaway and the subconscious belly rubbing is too...  lets face it not many of us like to rub our excess poundage lol we try and ignore that stuff.

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  • You absolutely look pregnant!
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  • You look pregnant and all baby.

    I'm sorry she hit a sore spot. Like you said, I'm sure she didn't mean to but it just came out the wrong way leaving you thinking, "Well, gee. Thanks a lot!"

    OT but your little girl's adorable.

  • Like others have commented, I'm sure she didn't mean it that way. However, it's completely understandable that no matter how unintentional said comment was, it still can hurt. Your bump looks super cute, so please pay her no mind! I sometimes feel like if we don't have the perfect beachball bump, all bets are off the table and people can comment what they want!
    Nestie since 2007

    Baby BOY due April 13, 2012


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  • That's all baby - no question about it.  I do think people think they're being nice with the weight comments (I don't know why they think it's nice, but they do.)  A month ago, I had a friend tell me "You don't look any different than you did before you were pregnant."  Really?  I've always had a stomach this size?  Not so much a compliment.

     

    red

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  • I'm with you on this. And I also think you look GREAT!

    A few weeks ago I had a pregnant co-worker tell me that I didn't look pregnant. How could I not take it personally? Just because she's due in January and she carries her baby like a basketball and I'm more 'all over'.... Just NOT nice.

    I've learned quickly that there are some people who make me feel good/better, and others who (whether they mean to or not) don't. Stay clear of those don'ters :) and be PROUD of how YOU are showing. This is YOUR miracle growing inside you. ENJOY!

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  • No you look pregnant not fat at all!
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  • I think you look fantastic and definitely pregnant!
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  • You look adorable, and definitely pregnant!
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  • Nope that's a bump.  I'm not sure what's she's talking about. 
    **Formally BabyTG from the Nov.11 Board** Our world changed on 2/28/11 with two lines. Unfortunately, it changed again on 4/4/11**



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  • here's how i tell the difference if someone is prego for me. and so far its worked a lot! only time it doesnt work is when the person in question was already over weight before getting the big news.

    prego - tummy is pushed more out than over (which is more obvious when wearing hip huggers)

    fat - tummy basically just hangs over the edges of your pants

    prego - the area below your belly button is pushed out farther than the top

    fat - its just blubber that giggles no matter how little you move.

    you might want to let your friend know that that upset you a bit. she may not have realized that at this point in time emotions are like a dang roller coaster and whether she meant it as a joke or not, its important to think about what you say before you say it. and looking like you may have eaten too much? as long as your doctor is happy with your diet then it shouldnt matter. after all you will have time after baby is born to lose that weight.

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  • Your bump is adorable, and there is no mistaking that it's baby!
    "Celebrate we will / Cause life is short but sweet for certain" -DMB

    Can't wait to meet Molly!

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  • I hear the same thing almost every week...from my father-in-law.  I know he doesn't mean anything by it, but it got old after the first time.  I've voiced my displeasure about it to my DH.

    As far as your friend goes, I wouldn't read too much into it.  Sounds like a off the cuff remark.  You and your bump look fabulous! 

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  • I am only 11 weeks and have almost the same size bump, but since I haven't announced the pregnancy I'm getting a lot of the "extra weight" comments. I usually tell people that I'm gaining on purpose in the hopes that some of the extra will go to my boobs. This usually shuts them up! You do look pregnant though and don't take the comments to heart.
  • OMG THE weight comments are driving me crazy. I am almost 27 weeks and all I get is look how big you are... I am a very thin person and this has been a lot of weight for me to gain... so it constantly makes me crazy self conscious... I always want to say YOU ARE NOT MY DOCTOR and THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! :) I am right on track growing and weight wise... but that is none of anyones business...
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