Multiples

Why does everyone hope for identicals?

I find it odd that so many women here seem to be crossing their fingers, hoping for ID multiples.. why on earth? Is it because they're less common than fraternals?
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Re: Why does everyone hope for identicals?

  • I don't know.  Growing up I thought it woudl be cool to have identical twins...now that I'm pregnant with twins and know all the risks involved I am greatful for my fraternal twins!!!
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  • No clue. I love my ID kids, but they didn't come with a brand new car or anything like that. I'm pretty sure they poop and cry just like frats do. :) I think there's just a lot of wonder about two or more people who share DNA.

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  • I was hoping for NOT ID twins.  I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to tell them apart!! 
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  • I am having ID twins, but I thought it would be cool to have fraternal, because I kinda wanted a boy and a girl. Maybe they don't know about the ID-specific complications (like TTTS).
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  • I always thought identical was cool, but now that I have fratnal it doesn't matter to me.
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  • I wonder the same thing. While I will admit I like the novelty of having all IDs, I do hate that they're growing up with people not knowing who they are, and everything that goes with that. Makes me sad.
    How to tell my boys apart
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  • I just always thought they were "neat".  I love my fraternals and wouldn't want to change them for anything, but I do say "oooh ahhh" inside when I see ID's. 
  • For me, it's the fact that if you have one set of Fraternals, the risk of another set is really high. The risk of another set of IDs is really, really low. 

    Before I knew that fact, I hoped for (and got!) a boy and a girl. But I'm now terrified of having more kids and a second set of twins.  

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  • image Mrs.Greg:
    I was hoping for NOT ID twins.  I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to tell them apart!! 

    This is my fear! We know that ours will be ID and this stresses me out!

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  • I think some people consider IDs more cool, more novel, whatever. I wasn't sure what I was hoping for but I'm honestly really glad I had frats. Like Pam mentioned, with IDs you have to deal with people not knowing who's who and all that goes with that. A lot of people thought my boys looked just alike until they were 9m or so (which they TOTALLY didn't but you know how people can be) and it was disappointing when people we saw on a regular basis didn't make an effort to figure out who was who. So I was really glad when their hair came in--one blond, one brunette--and people really started realizing how different they are in both looks and personality and treating them like individuals instead of "the twins." I think IDs would be great, too, in different ways, and research shows they often have a closer relationship (my boys don't get along that well so far), but I do think it's interesting to have two such different kids growing up together and I really kind of like that they're so easy for others to tell apart.
    fraternal twin boys born january 2009
  • image JosiePosy:

    No clue. I love my ID kids, but they didn't come with a brand new car or anything like that. I'm pretty sure they poop and cry just like frats do. :) I think there's just a lot of wonder about two or more people who share DNA.

    I bet they poop at the same time making it much easier. 

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  • I think people think the concept of copy & paste little babies is "soooo cute!" But I've often thought of Pam's perspective too. That would make me sad that the world treats them like a set.
    image pea-kay:
    I wonder the same thing. While I will admit I like the novelty of having all IDs, I do hate that they're growing up with people not knowing who they are, and everything that goes with that. Makes me sad.
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  • I don't understand it either. I was hoping for fraternal, but our girls are identical. It concerns me for the reasons mentioned, people not being able to tell them apart, viewing them as "the twins", etc.
    J - 9/6/09 L and A - 1/17/12
  • image Mrs.Greg:
    I was hoping for NOT ID twins.  I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to tell them apart!! 

     

    This is exactly what I was thinking! LOL 

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  • I am glad I avoided the added risks of ID's and I LOVE having a boy and a girl, but it would be cool to have two kids that look exactly alike.  Maybe next time ;)  I kid, I kid.

    I can't imagine how ID mom's get anything done in public.  I get stopped every few feet by someone asking if they are twins and telling me everything they've ever heard about twinning.  I imagine having two kids with the same face would make people freak even more than they already do!

     

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  • I think part of it is that with ART fraternal twins or even higher order multiples aren't that rare anymore. If someone has ID twins, it's still considered novel or special.

    I had no doubt my boys were fraternal from the moment I heard their cries. Their voices are completely different. Up until then I was told the same as everyone else - di/di so probably fraternal, but still a chance for them to be ID since they were the same sex. 

    I didn't care either way, but it is pretty cool to have one that looks just like me and one that looks like DH.

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  • I was personally hoping for ID when we found out we were having twins, I'm not sure why, I just was and that's what we had ID boys.
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  • I'm having fraternal, and not that anything is wrong w/ identical but i'm was very happy to know that they weren't because of the risk factors involved w/ ID twins and also I like the idea that my girls will have their own look / identity. :)
    *Our Miracle Twins thanks to IVF are here!*
    Kendall Rose & Brynn Marie
    Born at 32 weeks 5 days
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  • I think it's the novelty of it. Just like on TV when families have twins or more, they're always identical, it's what people think of as being "real" multiples.

    I think Sheldon in Big Bang Theory said it the best when he commented on how "We're no more alike than any other siblings," when referring to his fraternal twin sister. Personally, I'm happy that they're fraternal because it means they get the bond of being triplets, but get to be their entirely own people without the stereotypes that come with identicals.

    ~*~ Nikki ~*~ DS born 2/18/08! TTC #2 since 01/2009 11/01 Round #5 Clomid 100 mg, IUI 11/14, at 10dpiui 11/26 Beta:12dpiui 114 11/29 Beta:15dpiui 755 1/9/10 First U/S: TRIPLETS! 6/20/11 And then there were six... http://andbabiesmakesix.wordpress.com/ Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • I'm happy ours our fraternal. Just less risky for them. The only thing that I'm sure will annoy me is if people question when I say twins because they are boy/girl and may not look exactly alike. I think some people are really stupid when it comes to this and I don't feel like explaining they have the same birthday and were in my belly together countless times.
    Oct1201212 Twins born at 34w2d, Allison, 3lb,4oz-Ethan, 4lb7oz, both 16 1/2 inches. Out of Difficulties Grow Miracles BestBuddiesBoy AprilPosseMultiLilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • image crystaleyes39:
    I'm having fraternal, and not that anything is wrong w/ identical but i'm was very happy to know that they weren't because of the risk factors involved w/ ID twins and also I like the idea that my girls will have their own look / identity. :)

    How do you know yours aren't going to be identical?

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    Jack, Sydney and Carynne, Annaleigh, JW, Eden...forever in our hearts.
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  • image snoangel79:
    I'm happy ours our fraternal. Just less risky for them. The only thing that I'm sure will annoy me is if people question when I say twins because they are boy/girl and may not look exactly alike. I think some people are really stupid when it comes to this and I don't feel like explaining they have the same birthday and were in my belly together countless times.

    I can almost guarantee you that you'll spend more time explaining how they cannot possibly be identical twins, than you'll spend trying to convince people they are indeed twins.  I've ran into some real smrt people, and I don't think anyone has ever tried to convince me that they aren't really twins.  

  • image Haven1:
    I think people think the concept of copy & paste little babies is "soooo cute!" But I've often thought of Pam's perspective too. That would make me sad that the world treats them like a set.
    image pea-kay:
    I wonder the same thing. While I will admit I like the novelty of having all IDs, I do hate that they're growing up with people not knowing who they are, and everything that goes with that. Makes me sad.

     

    This is exactly why we are trying to have a game plan -- we are going to spend time w each boy individually, not dress them the same (we didn't even register for 2 of the same color swings or high chairs or boppy covers), put them in different classes starting in preschool, etc.  And really celebrate their individuality as much as possible.

     

    I hope it works but I know people will often see them just as "the twins" :(

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  • I'm also glad that I'm almost definitely having fraternal twins (two ovaries created a corpus lutem, so technically one could have NOT gotten fertilized, the other one split into two placentas early on, but the chances of that, versus just both eggs getting fertilized are slim).  I'm worried that I won't be able to tell them apart still, if they are the same gender, but that's probably just me being ridiculous at this point.

    I wonder if it's the same thing that people "love" the idea of having twins or other multiples to begin with.  My mother has been all totally extra crazy about this pregnancy because she always wished she'd had twins, etc., etc.  I'm really excited about these babies, don't get me wrong, but I am also a little apprehensive of the first year and my survival skills :)  It's also totally thrown me for a loop on how to actually take care of twins, which will just be *different* than a singleton.

    BFP#3: 3/1/11, EDD 11/11/11 - Missed M/C diagnosed 4/7/11 (7w6d), D&C 4/8/11


    BFP#4: 7/6/11, EDD 3/15/12 - Missed M/C diagnosed 8/8/11 (8w4d), M/C 8/19


    BFP#5: 10/8/11, EDD 6/17/12, U/S on 10/27/11 - fraternal twin boys born 6/3/12


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    Waiting for my buddy, s0ulchicken, to finish cooking her own twins!
  • i never hoped for them- maybe b/c i knew it was a 99.99% chance mine were fraternal b/c i had 2 follies on IUI day...

    but i can say i'm so happy mine are NOT identical - i love that they look like day/night... I love that people don't get them mixed up... they don't really get any "twin treatment" b/c they are just the same age - not much else makes them "twin-like".

    I used to be Goldie_locks_5 but the new nest is so screwed up that I was forced to start over.
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  • image ninjabridemom:

    image Haven1:
    I think people think the concept of copy & paste little babies is "soooo cute!" But I've often thought of Pam's perspective too. That would make me sad that the world treats them like a set.
    image pea-kay:
    I wonder the same thing. While I will admit I like the novelty of having all IDs, I do hate that they're growing up with people not knowing who they are, and everything that goes with that. Makes me sad.

     

    This is exactly why we are trying to have a game plan -- we are going to spend time w each boy individually, not dress them the same (we didn't even register for 2 of the same color swings or high chairs or boppy covers), put them in different classes starting in preschool, etc.  And really celebrate their individuality as much as possible.

     

    I hope it works but I know people will often see them just as "the twins" :(

    I applaud what you're trying to do, but man, it's hard. I don't dress them alike except for special occasions, but they do wear uniforms for school. And I have taken all three boys on numerous weekend trips alone. But still, it's become apparent as they get older that there's some invisible bond that keeps them from being too separate, no matter how hard I try. If I tried to take one to the grocery store alone now, it'd be nearly impossible.

    So don't just think that it's other people that make them into a unit. They do it to themselves, too. (But maybe mine are just particularly codependent?)

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    Jack, Sydney and Carynne, Annaleigh, JW, Eden...forever in our hearts.
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  • Yeah. I guess it's the novelty. I love the idea of multiples, and ID's are fascinating to me too. I just never "hoped" for them. I don't know if mine are ID or frats, and I guess we won't know for sure until after a DNA test after birth (still have to check how much that costs though!).
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  • Oh I'm sure it'll be work.  Uniforms for school would make it much more difficult.  That's so interesting that they do it themselves, too!  Did you notice this when they were babies, too?  I'm so curious how they'll be, the only twins I know are fraternal.
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  • image alindt:
    I am having ID twins, but I thought it would be cool to have fraternal, because I kinda wanted a boy and a girl. Maybe they don't know about the ID-specific complications (like TTTS).

    Exactly this. When we found out we were having twins we were really hoping that we would have a boy and a girl, especially since we only want to have two kids and my FIL is all about getting a grandson. Of course we're thrilled that we're having two healthy babies, and my H especially is ecstatic that it's two girls. My FIL will just have to tell my BIL to settle down and start working on a grandson for him because one won't be coming from us :) 

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  • Yeah I definitely think people are intrigued more by identicals because they were one egg/one sperm that split into 2 people, rather then 2 eggs/2 sperm which is really just siblings in utero together.

    Also the science of not knowing why the egg splits etc.

    I love my ID girls and I can tell them apart! Their head shapes (forehead area) are different.

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