Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Will you give your kid condoms?

I mean, obviously not now, but in the future (lets say, when they're a teen) will you provide your child with birth control?  Why or why not?
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Re: Will you give your kid condoms?

  • Yes. Because while I do hope they sustain from it, I would rather be safe then sorry. I plan to start discussing sex at a very early age. I want my child to be comfortable coming to me. I also would like to know when they start, so that way I can provide protection. I would rather them have safe sex, then have a grandbaby on the way.
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  • Absolutely, yes. As PP said, I'd rather DS wait a while but if he is going to do it, he may as well be safe about it. My hope is that we can have a decent conversation about it so that he understands the ins and outs (no pun intended) of being sexually active.
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  • I will put my future daughter on birth control if she wants to be on it (and I will even offer it once she reaches a certain age if she hasn't approached me already) because I'd rather be given the side eye for "giving her permission to have sex" than having a pregnant teenage daughter.  It's way more important for me to protect her health and future than her virginity or purity.

    As far as my son goes, I will definitely educate him on proper use of condoms (and make sure he knows that it's even better if his partner is also on some kind of BC).  I will probably go so far as to provide condoms to him if I feel a need but he will definitely know that condoms are readily available at any grocery, drug, and convenience store and that I have no problem with him purchasing them.


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  • Honestly don't know. I plan to be very open about sex and everything else, so she knows she can come to me about anything. So probably. But I also just don't know. Giving BC doesn't mean they'll use it and not giving it doesn't mean they won't.

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  • Yah, I'm in the same boat as you ladies.  I will not withold protection in hopes that they will abstain.  I of course will hope that they do, but I also want to be realistic.  My mom was not very open in talking about sex and such with me, I was just smart enough to go ahead and get on the pill on my own when I was ready.  I'm hoping that DD and I will have the type of relationship where we can openly discuss things.
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  • image jmgcoggins:
    Also... where did you get those cloth diapers. I LOVE the prints! That is all!

    It's a WAHM; KLBs Baby Boutique (or CozzyBunz).  She's on facebook and I bought it on Hyenacart.  It's one of my favourites!

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  • image fredalina:
    Honestly don't know. I plan to be very open about sex and everything else, so she knows she can come to me about anything. So probably. But I also just don't know. Giving BC doesn't mean they'll use it and not giving it doesn't mean they won't.

    This is true, but I feel like even if he/she didn't use what was provided at least I could say that I did everything I could to prevent something from happening.  


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  • YES!!!  While I hope she will wait until she is emotionally mature enough to be in a long term committed relationship to have sex, the reality is she probably won't.  I will provide her will all the tools to avoid an unplanned pregnancy.
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  • Yes, I will definitely put DD on BC when she's a teenager, if she wants it. Hopefully she will come to me.
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  • I plan on being open with DD about sex and birth control. I also want her to now that it's not just preventing a pregnancy it's protecting her health from STD's . 

     

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  • Yes. I want him to be informed about sex at a fairly young age, so he doesn't end up making the same mistake I did and start too young. If (and when) he has sex, at least I know that I've done my part to avoid him getting a disease or impregnating someone.

    My parents, myself and my siblings had a very open relationship about sex, but I was still too ashamed to talk to them about it. I hope DS is comfortable enough to talk to me about his concerns and curiosities rather than going to his friends for advice.

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  • image ashleysynyshyn:
    Yah, I'm in the same boat as you ladies.  I will not withold protection in hopes that they will abstain.  I of course will hope that they do, but I also want to be realistic.  My mom was not very open in talking about sex and such with me, I was just smart enough to go ahead and get on the pill on my own when I was ready.  I'm hoping that DD and I will have the type of relationship where we can openly discuss things.

    Ditto this.

    However, I think a lot of people spread the message that 'contraception means you're exempt from babies' which I think is wrong.  Sex = babies and I'll be teaching my kids that if they aren't ready for babies, they should think seriously about having sex. 

    No one really taught me to think that way growing up - just 'oh, you get on the pill and babies don't happen and if they do you get an abortion' and I just think there's so much wrong with that.  I would try to spare my daughter the emotional trauma of having to decide if she wants an abortion at age 16, kwim?  I know for sure if I had gotten pregnant at 17 (when I started having sex) that it would have changed my life whether I had kept the baby or not.  Making that big of a decision so young is not something I wish for my LOs.

    I will never withold contraception (and in Canada it's kind of a non-issue since you can walk into any clinic and get free condoms and free prescriptions to the pill), but I will also teach a different set of morals than what society is promoting these days.  Realistically I know I can't stop my LOs having sex, but I hope to teach them that sex has real consequences, that it's serious and should be done with someone you love and that you should be of an emotional age to handle the aftermath.

    Bleh - I'm being rambly and not sure I'm being clear about my POV...

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  • image BelleIsa:

    image ashleysynyshyn:
    Yah, I'm in the same boat as you ladies.  I will not withold protection in hopes that they will abstain.  I of course will hope that they do, but I also want to be realistic.  My mom was not very open in talking about sex and such with me, I was just smart enough to go ahead and get on the pill on my own when I was ready.  I'm hoping that DD and I will have the type of relationship where we can openly discuss things.

    Ditto this.

    However, I think a lot of people spread the message that 'contraception means you're exempt from babies' which I think is wrong.  Sex = babies and I'll be teaching my kids that if they aren't ready for babies, they should think seriously about having sex. 

    No one really taught me to think that way growing up - just 'oh, you get on the pill and babies don't happen and if they do you get an abortion' and I just think there's so much wrong with that.  I would try to spare my daughter the emotional trauma of having to decide if she wants an abortion at age 16, kwim?  I know for sure if I had gotten pregnant at 17 (when I started having sex) that it would have changed my life whether I had kept the baby or not.  Making that big of a decision so young is not something I wish for my LOs.

    I will never withold contraception (and in Canada it's kind of a non-issue since you can walk into any clinic and get free condoms and free prescriptions to the pill), but I will also teach a different set of morals than what society is promoting these days.  Realistically I know I can't stop my LOs having sex, but I hope to teach them that sex has real consequences, that it's serious and should be done with someone you love and that you should be of an emotional age to handle the aftermath.

    Bleh - I'm being rambly and not sure I'm being clear about my POV...

    Umm, this is what I mean to say. lol

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  • image jmgcoggins:
    Yes. Because while I do hope they sustain from it, I would rather be safe then sorry. I plan to start discussing sex at a very early age. I want my child to be comfortable coming to me. I also would like to know when they start, so that way I can provide protection. I would rather them have safe sex, then have a grandbaby on the way.

    This Exactly!

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  • Yes, because if they decide to have sex, I want them to be prepared. I've already had the sex talk with my oldest DD and she knows what can happen as a result of sex. I know 11 is young, but kids (at least in our area) in middle school are having sex now. I want her to know the risks and know what the facts are.
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  • image justbeachy109:
    Yes, because if they decide to have sex, I want them to be prepared. I've already had the sex talk with my oldest DD and she knows what can happen as a result of sex. I know 11 is young, but kids (at least in our area) in middle school are having sex now. I want her to know the risks and know what the facts are.

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    That is just... too young.

    (Not to talk to your DD about sex, but for kids to be having sex. 11!!!!)

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  • I grew up in the 'waiting till marriage' camp. While I would love it if my kids did too, I know it's not realistic and will provide my kids with information and contraception when they ask.

    In the interest of full disclosure, even though I grew up committed to my virginity or die mentality, DH and I did have sex during our engagement. So I know that no matter how I raise my kids they aren't necessarily going to wait. Might as well protect their health and future.
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  • Yes. He's a boy so I'll give him access to condoms. Depending on his girlfriend and her family I might offer to help her get birth control.

    Of course I'd like him to abstain from sex but hey that's probably not going to happen. If he's going to partake I'd like him to be safe about it. Maybe I'll get flamed for it but whatever. My parents were never very open about sex and sexual safety. I don't want to make that mistake with my kids.

    I'll have them get the HPV vaccine pre-puberty. It's a vaccine. It doesn't mean they can go out and have sex now. It just helps protect them if they get exposed to that particular illness. All 3 kids will have access to condoms somewhere in the house. I'll probably just put a bag in the bathroom and tell them whoever needs them to take them. I'll check it periodically to make sure they haven't expired and to replenish as necessary. 

    I'll talk to them about sex and safety but if they're not comfortable or I think they have more questions I'll take them to their doctor or PP so they can talk about it outside of their family. If the girls want birth control I'll provide it for them. 

  • image BelleIsa:

    image justbeachy109:
    Yes, because if they decide to have sex, I want them to be prepared. I've already had the sex talk with my oldest DD and she knows what can happen as a result of sex. I know 11 is young, but kids (at least in our area) in middle school are having sex now. I want her to know the risks and know what the facts are.

    Surprise  Indifferent   Broken Heart

    That is just... too young.

    (Not to talk to your DD about sex, but for kids to be having sex. 11!!!!)

    I know and it is horrifying. You wouldn't believe some of the stories I've heard from other parents. It makes me want to lock DD up inside a bubble. lol

     

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  • i will protect ds in everyway i can, including sex. i don't need to be a grandma too early.
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  • Yes yes yes. And I will also talk with all my boys about sex and why it is best to abstain or use protection.

    I was a teen mom and while I wouldn't trade my son in for the world I don't want them to have to go through all the hardships I did. And miss out on their teen years.

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  • I'm going to encourage birth control AND condoms after a certain age (unless they come to me first) because I think most teenagers focus on preventing pregnancy without realizing the importance of protecting themselves against STD's as well.
  • image kcl22:
    I'm going to encourage birth control AND condoms after a certain age (unless they come to me first) because I think most teenagers focus on preventing pregnancy without realizing the importance of protecting themselves against STD's as well.

    Yes

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  • image amykins1283:

    image fredalina:
    Honestly don't know. I plan to be very open about sex and everything else, so she knows she can come to me about anything. So probably. But I also just don't know. Giving BC doesn't mean they'll use it and not giving it doesn't mean they won't.

    This is true, but I feel like even if he/she didn't use what was provided at least I could say that I did everything I could to prevent something from happening.  

    Both of this. I am still on the fence. If my kids have sex early I want them protected. But I also hope that they wait until their late teens at least and that we're close enough that they could come to me if they felt it might be time. ALSO, it's my job to approach them early and open the topic up for discussion. I will not wait until they tell me "Oh mom, I've been on the pill for 3 years". That would bother me more than being sexually active alone.

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  • I will not. If they're old enough to be having sex then they're old enough to get it themselves.

    I hope to have open communication about it and if DD wants to get on the pill, we would discuss it and I'd take her to the doctor.... but I don't think I'd necessarily be just handing out condoms.

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  • Absolutely.  I used to teach sex ed when I taught HS biology.  If I can discuss this topic with hundreds of 14-year-olds, then I am totally cool talking about it with my own kid.  And I will discuss condomn use with him.
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  • Absolutely yes. I will try to create an open relationship with my kids because I wish I had had that with my own parents. I've been extremely happy with my IUD and will encourage my DD to get it or something like it when the time comes (in addition to condoms!)
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  • I absolutely plan to teach Noelle about safe sex and will encourage her to wait, but realistically, I will also most likely ask her if she wants birth control.  We will discuss the importance of condoms as well from an STD standpoint.
  • image kg_08:

    I will not. If they're old enough to be having sex then they're old enough to get it themselves.

    I hope to have open communication about it and if DD wants to get on the pill, we would discuss it and I'd take her to the doctor.... but I don't think I'd necessarily be just handing out condoms.

    what does this mean? would you take her to the dr if she wanted to be on the pill, but she needs to pay for it? why would you treat that differently than condoms?

    as i have a son, i would probably make sure condoms were freely available in the bathroom. i would discuss it with him first and help him understand that sex is a really big deal, but i don't want to make him jump through hoops when the repercussions are so huge. and i'd hope like hell that any gfs or bfs he has have similarly responsible parents.

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