Ectopic Pregnancy. How to overcome.

LilyFloresLloyd

I was so happy when i saw that I was pregnant again after losing my first baby. My first pregnancy m/c at 3 weeks after trying for a year and 2 months. Then my second pregnancy i was spotting as well but my beta was rising fast and very well more than double the last checkups hormones. but the baby was not in my uterus, it was in my fallopian tube. 2 days ago I came home from the hospital crushed because they removed my fallopian tube along with the baby. My hubs is kind of traumatized and doesnt even want to TTC for a very long time he wont even let me talk about kids or anything. I dont know if hes hurting about it or is annoyed by it now. I feel so alone with this i dont know anyone ive met or family members or friends who have gone through this. Any advice on how to overcome this?

delino

I am so very sorry for the loss of your baby and tube.  Only time will help you overcome the heartache and fear, but I hope you two can talk about how you are fealing.  

williams4me

I have no advice, but just wanted to say that I am so, so sorry for your loss. 

I know that when I had my loss and D&C in Feb the ladies on the Miscarriage/Loss board were extremely comforting.  You may be able to find some additional comfort and support there if you haven't already.  Hugs!

LilyFloresLloyd

thank you im crushed and just need a little push to feel better emotionally. I keep thinking that theres something wrong with me and that im not meant to have kids. but with all the help here It makes me feel better and keeps me on the bright side thanks everyone

racampbell1

Give yourself some time to heal, physically and emotionally, your body and heart have been through a lot.  I have had two ectopics, and found through testing after the second that my left tube is completely blocked.  I'm living proof you can conceive with one tube, when and if you are ready.  Having an ectopic doesn't mean there's something fundamentally wrong with you, it just means that things didn't end up in the right place that time ... I know it hurts, trust me, I do.  Give yourself a break, be sad or angry if that's how you feel, and give DH some time too, I think its hard for them to process these things too, even though they may not show it to us.  T's and P's to you. 

opallover

I am so sorry for your losses.

I had an ectopic pregnancy last december and had emergency surgery - I also lost my right tube and the baby.

I felt very alone in the real world. I tried a lot of drinking myself to oblivion [not good] - time honestly will help heal the wounds. i think I felt a tad better once I could focus on something like TTC. I dove face first into charting and sex with my husband wasn't fun anymore - I had to take a step back from charting and all things TTC even my friends on ttcal [even though they were super amazing]. I eventually became pregnant again and though I was/am still terrified something will go wrong I have to try every day to remind myself that each pregnancy is different. It took 5 looooooooong cyles for me to become pregnant again.

I think people all have different ways to deal with the pain but something to remember is that you won't or don't have to forget about the two losses that you have had. Your hospital might have a memorial services for all babies lost in a certain time period. We did that and it helped.

Also, i do think your husband is trying to deal wtih things on his own also. Just try to be there for each other and hold each other. It will get better and you will find a way to heal.

*hugs*

hlyn11

I also suffered an ectopic,  My heart goes out to you and I think everyone else had great advice about just taking some time to feel what you are feeling and allow yourself to process what you have been through.  When you and DH are ready again, you will know it.  No need to rush it. 

 

LilyFloresLloyd

thank you all for the help and advice. It makes me feel a lot better knowing that other people who have been through it are okay now and also either TTC or Pregnant and still able to have kids it gives me a lot of hope. Again I want to thank all the moms who post to help other mothers. Lots of love your way