Inlaw vent... long and rambling

krissywags

First off I am going to say that I LOVE MY LITTLE LUCY MORE THAN ANYTHING!

SIL is pregnant and just found out that they are having a boy. I always wanted to have a boy before girl because I love the idea of the older brother (that's how I grew up). ON DH side of the family DD is the fourth granddaughter and now a grandson. It is awesome that we will have a little boy to spoil... and that is exactly what is going to happen! 

There is just one thing that bothers me... SIL is spoiled to the max (only girl) and she had the first grandchild, who is also spoiled to the max... now BIL who is the family favorite is having the first grandson... I know this is nothing that I can control and it is really stupid for me to feel this way but I'm just bittersweet about the whole thing.

I went Christmas shopping with MIL and SIL this weekend and it was crazy... MIL always puts pajamas in our "stockings"... I picked out what I liked (typical thermal top and bottoms), MIL picked out ones for the two other SILs (flannel gift sets that were probably about $10), SIL picked out hers... $40!! Whatever she wants she gets, and everyone else gets inferior stuff! I have been raised to be fair... my own mom will set a limit and each of us will get stuff up to that limit, if she doesn't find anything to make it up to the limit she will get us visa gift cards (or if there is something that she wants to get but doesn't have enough left.

I know this is a rambling, and petty vent but I can't stand biting my tongue anymore but don't want to start a fight with DH about it and I guess it just felt good to type it out. 

brittas

That would bother me too. My parents were the same way with me growing up... I always had a limit/budget or had to buy something with my own money. Does your DH agree that she is spoiled? Just think of it this way- her $40 jammies are helping to stimulate the economy??? 

SarahPLiz

That does suck. Maybe next time, let SIL pick what she wants and then you choose the same. 

msjcordova

Uggg..annoying much?! My SIL is sort of the same way. The attention always has to be on her! She wants a girl SO bad and with her second pregnancy she was convinced she was having a girl. She picked a name and started to buy clothes. Well, she had a boy. So when we found out that DD was a girl ( and the first granddaughter in 14 years) she felt left out. Her and her DH went out and bought a $60,000 car.

buckyfan30

Your MIL has to know that looks bad on her part since you're shopping together. Not that how much she spends matters, but personally I'd be more careful about who I was doing it in front of.   I'll trade you my passive aggressive MIL for your uneven gift giving one? Lol.

VESmith25

Well this may not be a popular opinion but is your SIL your MIL's own daughter or did she marry in as well? Let's face it that does make a difference. My mom spends way more on me than she ever did on my brother's ex-wife. I should also add that my MIL spends more on her daughter than on me and I've never given it a second thought. She still gives me a nice and thoughtful gift but I would expect her to spend more on her own child.

Matt Dvorak

I definitely would NOT say something if I thought that my SIL was spoiled - that is none of my business!

Actually, I really don't think that how much my own parents spend on my siblings compared to me is any of my business either and it doesn't bother me that my parents spend less on me than they do on my siblings for holidays - a few of them struggle financially and I do not. In my family things haven't always been equal, but also based on who needs more from my parents at a given time. Honestly my siblings and I are all very understanding of this (even the 3 of us that paid for our own first cars when 2 of them got decent hand me downs). 

 

Matt Dvorak

VESmith25:

Well this may not be a popular opinion but is your SIL your MIL's own daughter or did she marry in as well? Let's face it that does make a difference. My mom spends way more on me than she ever did on my brother's ex-wife.

I agree with this point as well. My parents spend more on my brothers than they do on my husband and I can't imagine my husband ever caring or complaining!! 

krissywags

VESmith25:

Well this may not be a popular opinion but is your SIL your MIL's own daughter or did she marry in as well? Let's face it that does make a difference. My mom spends way more on me than she ever did on my brother's ex-wife. I should also add that my MIL spends more on her daughter than on me and I've never given it a second thought. She still gives me a nice and thoughtful gift but I would expect her to spend more on her own child.

It doesn't matter if it is popular... it is your opinion and everyone is entitled to their own. 

To answer your question, SIL is MIL's daughter, she did not marry in. I will agree with what a PP said... I know she does it, just don't do it in front of me! The fact that she plays favorites with SIL's daughter because she is "the first grandchild" (by 3 weeks!) bothers me more than the whole SIL thing.

I guess in my family it doesn't matter if you are my mom's own children or married in, my SIL gets the same limit that I do and DH gets the same limit as my brothers.