Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Drug test for sitters...?

This is a strange post... My MIL smokes pot. Saying that i dont agree with that is an understatement. I can't stand that she is a pothead.

Since LO was born she keeps mentioning babysitting him. She has 6 other grandchildren but I refuse to let her watch him if she is still smoking pot (she kept saying she was going to quit while I was pregnant). I REALLY am tempted to buy an over the counter drug test and give it to her. I have a feeling that's going to start drama between DH and me though. I keep telling myself that I make sure I am in the right state if mind when I am around my baby and no way I am going to let a stoner watch him. 

Oh- the last time we were at her house she drank like 6 glasses of wine (while she was supposed to be watching two of the grand kids). It was very awkward when I blatantly wouldn't let her hold LO (he's only two weeks Old)!!!!

Any suggestions for tackling this...? 

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Re: Drug test for sitters...?

  • Drug test will put a rift between you and dh and fyi drug users know there is a way to make a drug test negative not sure of the way but I have heard there is.
  • Does she smoke pot or is she a pothead? I do believe there is a difference. Is she high when she watches her grandchildren?

    You need to have a chat with your DH. Regardless of the situation, you both need to figure out what you are comfortable with and not comfortable with. This is your child.

    FWIW, I think a drug test is overkill and would cause major conflict. If you know she smokes, why the drug test? I'm sure you can tell when she is high. I wouldn't let someone who is under the influence of any kind of drug (drugs include alcohol) be responsible for my child.

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  • Wow. Personally, I would never let her babysit. Next time she brings it up you can always say, "I'm not ready to leave my baby. Maybe when they are older..." Are you going to be going back to work? You could always say, "Since I have to go back to work, I don't want to leave him/her more than I have to..." Or if you don't have to work, you can just joke and say you are too attached to your LO and can't imagine leaving. I don't know. I would just find reasons to why you don't need a sitter. As for the drug test, you could test her, but what would that solve? If you don't feel comfortable with her watching your LO, don't let her!
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  • I don't think the drug test would help anything.  Yes, she would "get the point", but I doubt it would change anything, and it would probably alienate her and your DH.  She's definitely old enough and experienced enough though (especially since she's a mom herself)  to hear and understand the words "I am just not comfortable letting anyone under the influence take care of my child".  I don't think there's any reason to act like you are the one with the problem, ie, "oh, I'm just to attached to him to let anyone else hold him", etc.  She should know better and accept that most people aren't going to want someone on pot watching their kid. 
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  • I won't let DH's mom babysit because she smokes cigarettes and doesn't always take it outside. It has caused problems with her and my DH but I don't give a damn. As her parents DH and I are the only ones who can advocate for her at this point. If your MIL wants to watch your LO she won't get high. Simple as that.
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