Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Why won't MIL get the point! Vent

MIL works nights at Walmart. What that means I her world is that she works from 10-6 and sleeps from 6:30-9. During her ridiculous sleeping hours, she unplugs her phones so she can't be disturbed. However, every single freakjn night, without fail, she will call here between 9:30-9:45. Tonight, I had just gotten dd down after an entire day of no naps and a terrible night last night and MIL decides to call. Ives tried to tell her politely and indirectly many times how inconsiderate it is for her to wake us all up because of her work schedule but she just doesn't care. 

When she called tonight she asked what we were doing. I told her were in bed because dd had a bad night and day. As per her usual self, she just kept jabbering on abou her internal exam at the OB and how she might have endometriosis. She then starts going on about her furnace being broken in her tiny apartment. Why this ticked me off is because the last 2 winters, before LO, we couldn't afford heating oil and we sat here with one tiny electric heater freezing. We slept win coats and shoes on. She knew hat and didn't care at all. ( dh lost his job and I did a month later and it really killed us).

So I mention for the hundredth time how we went for two winters with no heat, she at least has heat coming from surrounding apartments. Well I course, that justnprovokes her o whine even more.

I kept saying I really needed to get off the phone because my talking was causing the baby to stir and I really needed to sleep. She just wouldn't shut up. So then, about an hour later, she calls back to talk to eh and tell him about her internal exam! Mind you, when she asked where he was earlier and I said he was still at work, her response was ( are you sure he's working?) wtf!

I just don't know what to do about this disruptive and inconsiderate woman. She is the type hat her life runs off of Facebook so I'm hoping she gets the point when she reads that we're unplugging our phone between the hours of 7pm and 9pm because our schedule runs off of LOs and we can't keep letting late night phone calls wake her. She is the most dramatic woman I've ever known so by tomorrow morning, I'll be getting calls asking why I'd be so mean and hearing how she is so "depressed" again. Thanks for reading my vent. I just really had it with her.  

Re: Why won't MIL get the point! Vent

  • Im sorry about the errors. My iPhone has a habit of speaking for me instead of putting what I actually type. I also meant the hours o 7pm to 9am. 
  • Why don't you just silence your phones? Why would you stay on the phone with her? Why would you answer it? Why doesn't your husband tell her to stop calling?

    You can easily fix this problem.

    I am sorry she keeps waking your LO up.

    BFP #1 8.16.10 m/c at 5w BFP #2 10.21.10 m/c at 5w4d 
    BFP #3 2.15.11 EDD 10.27.11. DD born 10.29.11
    Betas @9dpo= 23 Betas @12dpo= 128.5 Betas @17dpo= 1075 Betas @21dpo =5800s
    @6w hb 114 bpm! @8w4d hb 178 bpm! @12w hb 169 bpm! @18w hb 150 bpm!
    BFP #4 2.15.13 EDD 10.29.13 DD born 10.30.13
    Betas @10dpo= 8.2 Betas @13dpo= 74 Betas @17dpo= 694
    @6w1d hb 122 bpm! @8w hb 169 bpm! @12w1d hb 174 bpm! 154 bpm! @18w1d
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  • If you have caller ID on your phone then don't pick it up.  I'll admit that I typically screen my calls and won't pick up the phone if it is someone that I don't want to talk to.  I discovered that if you hit the end button then that phone no longer rings.  There are many times where it is my MIL or SIL and I don't answer the phone or I tell DH its his family and make him answer it.  His sister will talk your ear off and doesn't even care if you are listening and no matter how many times you say you have to go she keeps talking.
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  • I was gonna suggest unplugging or turning off your phones.

     

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  • Don't answer the phone if she calls during an inconvenient time. When she asks why she can never get in touch with you, tell her you don't answer the phone when people call and you're already in bed. She'll get the message eventually. 
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  • You've been too nice! Also, I can't believe about your two winters without heat. That's awful! 
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  • Turn off yur ringer/ phone. What a pain!
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  • This isn't rocket science. Don't answer the phone when she calls at an inconvenient time.
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  • image HappyAardvark:
    This isn't rocket science. Don't answer the phone when she calls at an inconvenient time.

    Youre right. It should be that simple, hence why I said about shutting off the phone during certain hours. Letting the phone ring only wakes the baby. I usually have the phone ringers shut off but sometimes I forget to shut of the base ringer. Even then, the machine picks up, which wakes the baby. She will also call repeatedly. House, my fell, his cell, etc over and over until she gets an answer. If we constantly tried to avoid her, our phones would need to be off 24/7. She calls duh over and over while he's at work. It's crazy.

    I have a very ill mother and I hate shutting off the phone in case something happens bu MIL can't get the point to stop calling all the time and at those hours.

    I did unplug the phone and its still unplugged, I just find it ridiculous to have to shut off communication to the world, dd doctors, etc, because one woman has no brain or consideratio

    The other day I unplugged the phone and isn't answer my cell so she drive over and beat on the door, causing the dog to go nuts, until I answered.  

     Shes just knew of those people that don't care about others, but it better damn well care about her.  

  • image alt0925:

    image HappyAardvark:
    This isn't rocket science. Don't answer the phone when she calls at an inconvenient time.

    Youre right. It should be that simple, hence why I said about shutting off the phone during certain hours. Letting the phone ring only wakes the baby. I usually have the phone ringers shut off but sometimes I forget to shut of the base ringer. Even then, the machine picks up, which wakes the baby. She will also call repeatedly. House, my fell, his cell, etc over and over until she gets an answer. If we constantly tried to avoid her, our phones would need to be off 24/7. She calls duh over and over while he's at work. It's crazy.

    I have a very ill mother and I hate shutting off the phone in case something happens bu MIL can't get the point to stop calling all the time and at those hours.

    I did unplug the phone and its still unplugged, I just find it ridiculous to have to shut off communication to the world, dd doctors, etc, because one woman has no brain or consideratio

    The other day I unplugged the phone and isn't answer my cell so she drive over and beat on the door, causing the dog to go nuts, until I answered.  

     Shes just knew of those people that don't care about others, but it better damn well care about her.  

    Then have your DH tell her that until she respects your wishes about not calling, you will not be seeing her or talking to her. He needs to tell her that her behavior is unacceptable. If he won't, then you have a DH problem.

    BFP #1 8.16.10 m/c at 5w BFP #2 10.21.10 m/c at 5w4d 
    BFP #3 2.15.11 EDD 10.27.11. DD born 10.29.11
    Betas @9dpo= 23 Betas @12dpo= 128.5 Betas @17dpo= 1075 Betas @21dpo =5800s
    @6w hb 114 bpm! @8w4d hb 178 bpm! @12w hb 169 bpm! @18w hb 150 bpm!
    BFP #4 2.15.13 EDD 10.29.13 DD born 10.30.13
    Betas @10dpo= 8.2 Betas @13dpo= 74 Betas @17dpo= 694
    @6w1d hb 122 bpm! @8w hb 169 bpm! @12w1d hb 174 bpm! 154 bpm! @18w1d
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  • Just don't answer the phone. Take it off the hook when you guys go to bed.  If she complains, tell her straight up.  If you don't tell her directly, she'll just keep bugging you.
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  • image RachaelA:
    image alt0925:

    image HappyAardvark:
    This isn't rocket science. Don't answer the phone when she calls at an inconvenient time.

    Youre right. It should be that simple, hence why I said about shutting off the phone during certain hours. Letting the phone ring only wakes the baby. I usually have the phone ringers shut off but sometimes I forget to shut of the base ringer. Even then, the machine picks up, which wakes the baby. She will also call repeatedly. House, my fell, his cell, etc over and over until she gets an answer. If we constantly tried to avoid her, our phones would need to be off 24/7. She calls duh over and over while he's at work. It's crazy.

    I have a very ill mother and I hate shutting off the phone in case something happens bu MIL can't get the point to stop calling all the time and at those hours.

    I did unplug the phone and its still unplugged, I just find it ridiculous to have to shut off communication to the world, dd doctors, etc, because one woman has no brain or consideratio

    The other day I unplugged the phone and isn't answer my cell so she drive over and beat on the door, causing the dog to go nuts, until I answered.  

     Shes just knew of those people that don't care about others, but it better damn well care about her.  

    Then have your DH tell her that until she respects your wishes about not calling, you will not be seeing her or talking to her. He needs to tell her that her behavior is unacceptable. If he won't, then you have a DH problem.

    This.

    She keeps going until she gets a response because she gets what she wants. So You have to seriously ignore her. I mean don't open the door, or close it in her face.

    Sometimes the only way to deal with rude people is to meet them on their playing field and be just as stubborn back.

    It won't be easy but if she wants to drive to your place, to sit on your porch by herself then that's on her. 

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  • I seriously can't believe she drove over to your house and kept banging on the door!!  I agree with the other responses about being direct with her.  I do think that your DH needs to talk with her, and if he won't do it (for whatever reason), then don't get mad at him, it won't help, but just take care of it yourself.  Being upfront and direct isn't always easy, but it's necessary at times!  If she gets mad at you, then that's her problem.  You can't keep your phone off for one person and miss those important calls, especially with your mom being ill.  You could always move and not tell her.  HAHAHA just kidding!  :)
  • Just stop answering the phone so late. Tell her one more time if she calls after 8pm or whenever works for you that you won't be able to talk to her then follow through.
  • why do you feel the need to post on facebook that you are unplugging your phone? that kind of seems like you are just playing her game. you know what time she usually calls, so maybe you could screen and give her a call once or twice a week during that time just to check in. hearing from you might help ease up her anxiety a bit and she'll get the picture when you stop answering. just a thought. 
  • I agree with those who said you or dh needs to talk to her.  Another idea is to turn off home phone ringer and change her number on both your and dh's cell phones to ring as silent.  As in, assign her specific number to a silent ringtone.  Then everyone else can still reach you on your cell but her calls won't make any noise.  If she shows up at the door, answer, say 'sorry, everyone's in bed, we'll talk to you in the morning', and close the door.  It's rude, but this lady is borderline in need of a restraining order, so it's an appropriate response.
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  • If she can turn off her phones and not be disturbed - so can you.  When you're ready to put the little one down for the night (or even a nap!) and you're heading for some shut-eye too - turn off your phones.  I think she'll eventually get the picture.  Hope everything works out!  Good luck!
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  • She sounds like a psycho...
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  • Stop making excuses.  And follow some of these peoples advice.  Follow through.  It is simple behavior modification...what are you going to do some day when LO is throwing a fit on the store floor because she wants a toy you can;t afford?  buy it for her anyway then blame her for being in debt.  Lady you need to get some control!
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