Babies: 0 - 3 Months

do u ever just let them cry???

after he is fed, changed, swaddled, cuddled, and is pretty sleepy.. when left in the crib he wakes up few min later and cries like crazy.... then in order to calm him i often have to give him breast again, even for one min in order for him to fall asleep... 

he doesnt like the paci, prefers his hands, which make him end up scratching his own face... so since we swaddle, he gets frustrated...

is it ok to just let them cry for a bit?

any advice?  

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Re: do u ever just let them cry???

  • I have gone to the point of about 10 minutes before picking LO up. She constantly fights sleep and sometimes is just letting it out. My doc told me that for some babies that is how they release their energy. If I can tell it is escilating (sp) then I will go get her and start over. ETA: at 1 week they don't know how to soothe themselves so follow your instinct.
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  • At this point, being so little, I don't let him cry.  They need to feel that someone is there for them.  Some might say it's spoiling, but I don't see it that way. They are only 2 months old!  Plus, this being our last child, I don't mind picking him up all the time. : )
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  • No, I don't. 

     She might fuss for a minute while I'm dealing with the 3 year old and she does cry in the car b/c she hates the carseat, but those are times I can't help her immediately. I wouldn't intentionally let her cry. When she cries she's telling me she needs something. She doesn't always even know what she needs, but her instinct is to cry how that her adult can come help her.

    1 week or 1 month or even 2 or 3 months is absolutely too young. The "experts" don't recommend bio until 4-6 months. I'll be honest though, we don't use cio as a sleep training tool at any age. 


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  • Unless you are alone and completely frustrated and just need to step away for a minute, I would not just let LO cry at that age.
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  • No, I don't just let him cry.  I've read that it's important to establish trust, and I want my LO to trust that I'll take care of his needs.  Once in awhile he fusses while I'm getting his bottle ready or while I'm in the next room taking care of something, but I go to him ASAP- within a minute or 2.  I'm not opposed to CIO, just not until he's older. 
  • image LalaMama81:

    No, I don't. 

     She might fuss for a minute while I'm dealing with the 3 year old and she does cry in the car b/c she hates the carseat, but those are times I can't help her immediately. I wouldn't intentionally let her cry. When she cries she's telling me she needs something. She doesn't always even know what she needs, but her instinct is to cry how that her adult can come help her.

    1 week or 1 month or even 2 or 3 months is absolutely too young. The "experts" don't recommend bio until 4-6 months. I'll be honest though, we don't use cio as a sleep training tool at any age. 

    This exactly.  I am not a CIO mom, but I know that there are times when I can't grab him up right away. I hate hearing "it's good for them to cry sometimes." REALLY? Why? What's the "good" that it's doing? No one can seem to answer that.  I have read evidence from doctors that proves otherwise. So no, I don't just let them cry. 

    I do not think that babies cry "for no reason." I think that it's just really hard to find out what that reason is sometimes. 

     

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  • Not if I can help it. Especially not at that age.
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  • At that age, no.  They are no ability to really self-sooth.  I'd let them fuss a minute to see if they'd go back to sleep, but all on cry?  No.

    By the time they are 2-3 months, they can start to develop self-soothing skills, so I feel better about giving them a few minutes in a case like that to see if they'll work things out on their own.  And most experts agree that 4-6 months is when CIO can work to help them learn to self-sooth in earnest. 

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  • Have you tried swaddling your LO with his hands free? My daughter hated having her hands swaddled from day 1, so we only swaddle her lower half. Maybe that is why your son is so frustrated.

    I would try swaddling just his lower half and put those mittens on his hands so that he doesn't scratch his face.

  • image CurbsideProphet:
    Unless you are alone and completely frustrated and just need to step away for a minute, I would not just let LO cry at that age.

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  • Your baby isn't even 2 weeks old! He's spent the past 9 months inside you, safe and cozy. If he cries, go to him as soon as you can. He needs you, needs to learn he can trust you. To do otherwise would be cruel at this age.
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  • I let him cry it out once when I had done everything I could and was just simply too exhausted to do it again.  I just put him in the bed beside me and let him cry all the while feeling like the worst mommy of the year.  I usually have the patience and energy to deal with the crying but that time I just couldn't do it anymore.  He'd also been crying for four hours straight...typical purple cry and nothing I did seemed to soothe him.  Other than that, I usually try to soothe him in other ways to help him fall asleep.  He's my last baby and I want him to be a happy little guy.
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  • image carrie3303:
    image LalaMama81:

    No, I don't. 

     She might fuss for a minute while I'm dealing with the 3 year old and she does cry in the car b/c she hates the carseat, but those are times I can't help her immediately. I wouldn't intentionally let her cry. When she cries she's telling me she needs something. She doesn't always even know what she needs, but her instinct is to cry how that her adult can come help her.

    1 week or 1 month or even 2 or 3 months is absolutely too young. The "experts" don't recommend bio until 4-6 months. I'll be honest though, we don't use cio as a sleep training tool at any age. 

    This exactly.  I am not a CIO mom, but I know that there are times when I can't grab him up right away. I hate hearing "it's good for them to cry sometimes." REALLY? Why? What's the "good" that it's doing? No one can seem to answer that.  I have read evidence from doctors that proves otherwise. So no, I don't just let them cry. 

    I do not think that babies cry "for no reason." I think that it's just really hard to find out what that reason is sometimes. 

     

     

    I've heard it's good to let them cry to "exercise their lungs" and other reasons, though I don't really understand that.  But some times they do just cry even if all the basic needs are met.  But it doesn't mean LO has to tough it out on her own.  If she "needs to cry", I'd rather have her do it in my arms where I can at least try to soothe her.  

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  • I usually comfort her pretty quickly. I wouldn't let her cry it out for naps. Sometimes she wakes up early and will fuss or let out a couple of cries/whimpers. If she will go back to sleep, she will only fuss for a minute. I tell her I love her. If it goes longer, then I pick her up. I usually know what type of cry it is.

    Have you tried different brands of paci's?  LO hated the Nuk one from the hospital but loved the soothies. 

  • Your LO is quite younger than my DS, but I know when I put DS down drowsy but awake, he will fuss/cry right before falling asleep for a couple minutes. It is not a full on cry though, if he escalates, I go back in and calm him down again and then leave. If your LO is just fussing, I think it's ok, but if it's a full on cry, I'd pick him up. 
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  • I would never let a baby that little cry like that. It's important to establish trust and work on that relationship. I've had to let him cry for ten or fifteen minutes a couple times because I'd otherwise lose my mind or because we're driving and there isn't a good place to pull over but under normal circumstances there's no crying. Maybe try the Moby or a sling or just go ahead and let him comfort suck. They need to be comforted when they're this little.
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  • Ditto everyone.  Keep in mind that until your LO can tell you in words what's bothering him/her this is the only form of communication for them.  As a baby, it's crying.  As a toddler, it's tantrums.  If you keep this in the back of your mind it might help you approach things a lot differently.  Sometimes even if your LO has been fed, changed, burped, swaddled, cooled down/heated up, checked for lose threads around fingers and toes it could mean that all they want is for you to hold them.
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  • at just a few weeks old I definitely wouldnt have let DD cry, now she nearly 12 weeks I let her a little because sometimes she will calm down and put herself to sleep after 5 minutes. I never put her down just drowsy at first though, only when she was fully asleep, I only started trying to put her down drowsy after about a month and it worked well for me. DD has never used a paci either and loves her hands, I just put mittens on her or pjs that cover her hands. They get wet but its better than her scratching herself
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  • I wouldn't let them CIO this young. I only make her wait for me if I am handling DS or I need to put her down a second to wash my hands. With DS I waited along time before I let him. CIO. Probably close to a year.
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  • I had to let him cry today while getting dressed for my 6 wk checkup. He was changed, fed, burped and asleep. Not 5 mins later he was crying. I felt bad but I didn't have a choice. 
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  • Do you feed him at the very end, after changing and swaddling? 
    Also, drowsy but awake doesn't work for every baby.  Some babies need to be fast asleep before being put down (especially that young).  

    There may be times when you have no choice.  My little guy goes from zero to full on out screaming when he wakes up at night to be fed.  If I didn't get a bottle ready at the last feed, I have to let him cry while I get the bottle ready because I had no advance warning.  It breaks my heart every time! 

    Please don't let him full on cry without you at least attempting to soothe!  He's too little for that.  Fussing - yes.  Full on crying - no. 

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  • I haven't read the other responses, but have a feeling I won't be the only one saying this.....no way.  At not even 2 weeks old that is WAY to early.  If it makes you feel any better, my DD is the same way.  As soon as I'm done feeding her, I put her down and most times she starts crying within minutes.  She doesn't like the binky either.  I often have to nurse her back to sleep.  But she is a newborn, used to being "held" 24/7 in my belly, and now is in this huge, open world....that's gotta be scary.  I hold her whenever she cries b/c I'm her mom and it's my job to soothe her and help her to know she can trust that I will always take care of her.  Just pick your baby up and don't feel bad about it, he will be 3 years old in the blink of an eye.
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  • i know when my DD was between 1 and 3 weeks old, she would cry and cry for what seemed to be no reason. there were times i had to let her cry to keep my own sanity. i would put her in her crib, where i knew she was safe, and go downstairs and do something for a few minutes to distract myself. it was just so hard to hear her screaming, but i needed a few minutes so that i wouldn't sit and cry with her.

     

    now, she does seem to cry when she is tired - whether i'm holding her or lie her down. so for nap and bedtime, i put her in her crib when she is drowsy. if she starts to fuss/cry, i let her go for about 5 minutes before i go in and try to calm her. i'll calm her down (without picking her up, if i can) and leave her again. sometimes i have to repeat this cycle 2 or 3 times, but she does fall asleep. if she's all out screaming/crying, i usually can't wait 5 minutes before i go in. but on a really bad day, i might let her scream/cry for the whole 5 minutes in hopes that she wears herself out. but that's on a really bad day.

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  • my baby doesn't like the pacifier either.  I let her suck on the end of my ring finger. It works everytime!
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  • We finally did CIO at 10 months because we felt it was necessary for our child to get a good night's sleep. It worked like a charm, but never would've worked at an age much younger than that. Like ppers said, if you need a break because you are mentally exhausted then yes, put the baby down in a safe place and step away, take a shower or do something to recharge so you can approach the situation again calmly. We had a colicky son and there were times when I just had to step away after hours of crying. Never for more than 10-15 minutes though. If they are just fussing while trying to fall asleep that is one thing, but full on crying we always pick him up.
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