2nd Trimester

Why do people feel the need to tell you very obvious things?

I can't tell you how many times I've already heard "Get all the sleep you can get now! Cause once that baby comes...."

or, "Once that baby comes you will see all hours of the night!"

Really?? You mean, once I have this baby I won't get to continue sleeping for 9 hours though the night, without any interruptions? I'll have to wake up and feed my baby? With my boobs? My husband can't breastfeed for me? You mean to tell me my baby will start crying, and I will have to hold him/her until I'm able to calm him/her down? I will have to change diapers throughout the night- instead of sleeping? Wow, talk about a wake up call!

Seriously... Didn't they hear it all the time when they were pregnant? Was it not unnecessary and annoying?

Re: Why do people feel the need to tell you very obvious things?

  • That is the one thing I cringe everytime I hear, "enjoy the sleep now."  What part of I'm not sleeping because I either have to pee or trying to get comfortable sounded like I was enjoying it.  And thanks for reminding me it's only going to get worse!
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  • Me too.  It's really irritating.  I just usually give a fake smile and mutter "really.. who knew?"


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  • The thing that really bothers me about these comments, is I actually don't get any sleep now. I'm up every hour to pee, or just wake up, wide awake. I've never been one who gets a good nights sleep, and being pregnant has only made it worse.
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  • I know. Sooo annoying. I keep hearing I "have no idea" how my life will change. I "just can't comprehend it." I don't know, maybe some people have a puppies and rainbows vision of a happy smiling baby that never cries, but dude, I babysat for  years. I know that I will be awake all night, that the baby will cry and poop and spit up and I'll be tired and won't get to go out with my friends and blah blah blah. I get it. I signed up anyway. 
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  • Ah! I so agree with you. Or when you go out for a date night and they tell you "better enjoy it while it lasts." I had no idea going out is harder when you have children. Thanks for the wisdom.
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  • I hate when people tell me how I'm going to feel about something. Like I'm going try a natural delivery... "oh yeah, you'll be begging for an epidural in no time." Well, not that you asked, but epidurals have a bad history in my family and I'm terrified of being numbed. If I do get pain meds, it certainly won't be an epidural. 

    or how I want 3 kids..."you think that now but after you have her, you won't want any more". oh, okay. Thanks for informing me?

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  • image DogCat&Baby:
    That is the one thing I cringe everytime I hear, "enjoy the sleep now."  What part of I'm not sleeping because I either have to pee or trying to get comfortable sounded like I was enjoying it.  And thanks for reminding me it's only going to get worse!

    I second that! Sleep now? What sleep are you referring to?

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  • Probably because unless you have kids you don't really know what its going to be like. I thought I knew and I got cranky about stupid things like that with DS, but seriously...you have no.fvcking.clue. unless you are going through it. You can imagine, but you don't know. Just sayin...

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  • That was the comment i hated the most when pregnant with my daughter. I even told people that I would probably get more sleep because at least when I wasn't pregnant, I could get comfortable enough to sleep well in between feedings. Well I have to bite my tongue now when someone I know is pregnant because I want to say it sooo bad. It is amazing how different it is than what you think it's going to be. I understand how annoying it is but wow is it true.
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  • image RyAnsMoMMy123:

    Probably because unless you have kids you don't really know what its going to be like. I thought I knew and I got cranky about stupid things like that with DS, but seriously...you have no.fvcking.clue. unless you are going through it. You can imagine, but you don't know. Just sayin...

    I disagree. I have babysat my niece and my best friends baby so many times, since they were brand new. And not just for 2-3 hours. My sister is a nurse so Ive watched my niece from 7am to 7pm til her husband gets home, dealt with her crying, not napping, pooping and spitting up everywhere, when I hardly got any sleep the night before because I'm pregnant and woke up a billion times to pee and didn't fall asleep til at least 3am. I've babysat my best friends baby overnight, while also being pregnant, having to feed her at least every 2hours and got zero sleep. Just because I haven't actually birthed my own children yet, doesn't mean I'm completely blind to what it takes from you.

    -And saying very obvious things are pointless anyways. Everyone knows you don't get to sleep, if ever, once you have a baby. We know that if we are breastfeeding, it will be us who have to get up and feed our crying baby. We know. There is no reason to be that annoying person who has had kids and feels the need to tell others that they have no idea what they are getting themselves into. We, or at least I, definitely have an 'idea.'

  • Maybe it's just me... but when I was pregnant with DD #1, people would say that to me all the time. It didn't bother me, I would just smile and say "I'll try" and go about my day. I know that that pregnancy was riddled with complication and I had NO idea what a good nights' rest was anyways. But it wasn't worth getting all worked up about when it was more than likely just good meaning/well intentioned "words of wisdom" -- And the fact of the matter is, when she was born, she slept through the night, and I actually was able to clock about 7 hours a night. So, no one really knows, and it's just a matter of shrugging it off. 

     

    Even now, with this 2nd pregnancy, people see me holding DD #1's hand... and it still comes out of their mouths! lol. I guess I'd rather hear the redundant, than deal with indifference. I don't think people are trying to be negative intentionally... and I'm going to try my hardest to enjoy this pregnancy as much as possible!  

  • I hate "Having a baby changes everything", and comments about our lifestyle: "Well you'll be able to camp, but you won't be backpacking anymore". 

    Though I realize having a child does change your life drastically, we really don't plan on making that many changes to our lifestyle once the baby gets here. As far as being active is concerned, nomads traveled much further then 3-5 miles in a night with babies strapped on, and I'm pretty sure they make jogging strollers for jogging so running won't be impacted. 

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  • oh gosh, people can be so damn dumb! I hate when people feel like they have to put in there damn two cents like... "oh lord, you better sleep..blah, blah, blah" or "I hope you not planning on having another one!" I just want to say don't worry about me! Maybe someone should have told you the same thing before you had your damn baseball team! It is always the people who have more than one that wants to say something dumb!
  • image JNoelleE:
    image RyAnsMoMMy123:

    Probably because unless you have kids you don't really know what its going to be like. I thought I knew and I got cranky about stupid things like that with DS, but seriously...you have no.fvcking.clue. unless you are going through it. You can imagine, but you don't know. Just sayin...

    I disagree. I have babysat my niece and my best friends baby so many times, since they were brand new. And not just for 2-3 hours. My sister is a nurse so Ive watched my niece from 7am to 7pm til her husband gets home, dealt with her crying, not napping, pooping and spitting up everywhere, when I hardly got any sleep the night before because I'm pregnant and woke up a billion times to pee and didn't fall asleep til at least 3am. I've babysat my best friends baby overnight, while also being pregnant, having to feed her at least every 2hours and got zero sleep. Just because I haven't actually birthed my own children yet, doesn't mean I'm completely blind to what it takes from you.

    -And saying very obvious things are pointless anyways. Everyone knows you don't get to sleep, if ever, once you have a baby. We know that if we are breastfeeding, it will be us who have to get up and feed our crying baby. We know. There is no reason to be that annoying person who has had kids and feels the need to tell others that they have no idea what they are getting themselves into. We, or at least I, definitely have an 'idea.'

    FTR, I'm not one of those people that goes around saying that to people. I did lol at your post though. That's not even in the realm of the same. Doing it a night here and there is much different than doing it every single night. Knowing that you are going to be handing that child back to their mother is a much different thing than dealing with that child all.the.time. Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky and get one of those sleeps-through-the-night-from-day-one babies. You are cute though.

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  • image JNoelleE:
    image RyAnsMoMMy123:

    Probably because unless you have kids you don't really know what its going to be like. I thought I knew and I got cranky about stupid things like that with DS, but seriously...you have no.fvcking.clue. unless you are going through it. You can imagine, but you don't know. Just sayin...

    I disagree. I have babysat my niece and my best friends baby so many times, since they were brand new. And not just for 2-3 hours. My sister is a nurse so Ive watched my niece from 7am to 7pm til her husband gets home, dealt with her crying, not napping, pooping and spitting up everywhere, when I hardly got any sleep the night before because I'm pregnant and woke up a billion times to pee and didn't fall asleep til at least 3am. I've babysat my best friends baby overnight, while also being pregnant, having to feed her at least every 2hours and got zero sleep. Just because I haven't actually birthed my own children yet, doesn't mean I'm completely blind to what it takes from you.

    -And saying very obvious things are pointless anyways. Everyone knows you don't get to sleep, if ever, once you have a baby. We know that if we are breastfeeding, it will be us who have to get up and feed our crying baby. We know. There is no reason to be that annoying person who has had kids and feels the need to tell others that they have no idea what they are getting themselves into. We, or at least I, definitely have an 'idea.'

    Bahahahahahahahahaahahahah bahahahahahahahahahahahaha bahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • image JNoelleE:

    I disagree. I have babysat my niece and my best friends baby so many times, since they were brand new. And not just for 2-3 hours. My sister is a nurse so Ive watched my niece from 7am to 7pm til her husband gets home, dealt with her crying, not napping, pooping and spitting up everywhere, when I hardly got any sleep the night before because I'm pregnant and woke up a billion times to pee and didn't fall asleep til at least 3am. I've babysat my best friends baby overnight, while also being pregnant, having to feed her at least every 2hours and got zero sleep. Just because I haven't actually birthed my own children yet, doesn't mean I'm completely blind to what it takes from you.

    -And saying very obvious things are pointless anyways. Everyone knows you don't get to sleep, if ever, once you have a baby. We know that if we are breastfeeding, it will be us who have to get up and feed our crying baby. We know. There is no reason to be that annoying person who has had kids and feels the need to tell others that they have no idea what they are getting themselves into. We, or at least I, definitely have an 'idea.'

    When I read what you say...I think of this

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    My Sweet Son & Awesome DAUGHTER


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  • I work in daycare with small children so I know first hand just how much having a baby changes things. What bothers me is the people who tell you that certain things are going to happen to your pregnant body just because it happened to them. Like for instance I had made a comment in passing that I hope my feet dont grow too much because I have a lot of cute shoes that Im not willing to part with! I said it half joking, half serious. & the woman that I work with told me that because her feet went from a 6 to a 7.5 mine were OBVIOUSLY going to grow the same. I was so annoyed because every pregnancy is different.
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  • I can totally relate-when I first told my mother they gave me the most obvious advice-and questions..."You do know you have to take vitamins right?" No DUH!! (this is only one example, there have been other such questions and it drives my hubby nuts!) I'm their first child and this is their first grandchild so I can somewhat understand their logic, but please...don't treat me like a 2 year old.
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  • image JNoelleE:

    I can't tell you how many times I've already heard "Get all the sleep you can get now! Cause once that baby comes...."

    or, "Once that baby comes you will see all hours of the night!"

    Really?? You mean, once I have this baby I won't get to continue sleeping for 9 hours though the night, without any interruptions? I'll have to wake up and feed my baby? With my boobs? My husband can't breastfeed for me? You mean to tell me my baby will start crying, and I will have to hold him/her until I'm able to calm him/her down? I will have to change diapers throughout the night- instead of sleeping? Wow, talk about a wake up call!

    Seriously... Didn't they hear it all the time when they were pregnant? Was it not unnecessary and annoying?

    I remember how annoying that was during my first pregnancy.

    I think people just LOVE an opportunity to be a know-it-all.

    FWIW, speaking as a 2nd time mom, a lot of the things that people warned me about did NOT come true.  Every baby is different. Every marriage is different.

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  • image RyAnsMoMMy123:

    Probably because unless you have kids you don't really know what its going to be like. I thought I knew and I got cranky about stupid things like that with DS, but seriously...you have no.fvcking.clue. unless you are going through it. You can imagine, but you don't know. Just sayin...

    I totally get what you are saying--my life will change 100% and I will not sleep and life will be challenging and rewarding in ways I could never imagine.  However, I do find the whole: "you're  never going to sleep again, enjoy it" totally obnoxious.  I smile and tell people, "Oh, our baby isn't going to cry" and laugh.

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