August 2011 Moms

comment from the mom...

I was talking to my mom the other day and mentioned that I had a couple baby outfits I wanted to pass along to my cousin who is pregnant. Her response - "you're not giving away ALL of your baby clothes though, Thomas can't be an only child!". She does not know that we are 95% set on being one and done. 

Before I got pregnant she frequently made comments about how she was never going to be a grandma.

I get annoyed knowing first that my mom was never going to be satisfied until she was a grandma, and also knowing that she is always going to disagree with our choice to have only one child. 

 

Re: comment from the mom...

  • She sounds like my mom, and I am also about 95% sure we are one and done. 
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  • We aren't one and done but I have a feeling that my SIL is... since having DD I have stopped with the "when are you having another" talk. I have already heard it from my parent's friends and I told them that we will think about it when we are good and ready. I hope for you that your mom will lay off and enjoy the fact that she is a grandma!
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  • My husband wanted to be one and done after our loss. I started selling stuff and now I regret it. I knew in my heart that I for me (not saying anyone else) I couldn't do that to my child. I am an only with agin parents and the burden of there care by myself is stressing me out. I also always wanted a sibling. Now we have Ollie and I know I am done.
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  • image BobbiJanay07:
    My husband wanted to be one and done after our loss. I started selling stuff and now I regret it. I knew in my heart that I for me (not saying anyone else) I couldn't do that to my child. I am an only with agin parents and the burden of there care by myself is stressing me out. I also always wanted a sibling. Now we have Ollie and I know I am done.

    Having siblings isn't necessarily the answer to helping with aging parents - I am terrified about what will happen when the time comes for my parents and my bum brothers start looking to me for support!! 

  • Isn't it interesting how some grandparents are so focussed on what they want that they forget the wishes of their children?
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  • image lincolngirl:

    image BobbiJanay07:
    My husband wanted to be one and done after our loss. I started selling stuff and now I regret it. I knew in my heart that I for me (not saying anyone else) I couldn't do that to my child. I am an only with agin parents and the burden of there care by myself is stressing me out. I also always wanted a sibling. Now we have Ollie and I know I am done.

    Having siblings isn't necessarily the answer to helping with aging parents - I am terrified about what will happen when the time comes for my parents and my bum brothers start looking to me for support!! 

    True, but it was one of my reasons. I am not judging, unsay do what is right for your family and what is in your heart. And in my heart I wanted more then one.
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  • image BobbiJanay07:
    image lincolngirl:

    image BobbiJanay07:
    My husband wanted to be one and done after our loss. I started selling stuff and now I regret it. I knew in my heart that I for me (not saying anyone else) I couldn't do that to my child. I am an only with agin parents and the burden of there care by myself is stressing me out. I also always wanted a sibling. Now we have Ollie and I know I am done.

    Having siblings isn't necessarily the answer to helping with aging parents - I am terrified about what will happen when the time comes for my parents and my bum brothers start looking to me for support!! 

    True, but it was one of my reasons. I am not judging, unsay do what is right for your family and what is in your heart. And in my heart I wanted more then one.

    And I see no problem with having more than one :-) You wish that you had siblings, my DH actually wishes he had been an only child (one of the only people I know who will admit that!!)...I love my siblings and am happy to have them, but really wish a couple of them would get their acts together. I think that kids can be happy or unhappy in either situation and it's difficult to predict what situation will be best for any one kid - so after lots of thought I've realized that it's best not to have a kid for the sole purpose of providing a sibling to my DS, and to be honest, that would be our only reason. I feel like our family of 3 (plus cat!) makes us complete.

  • image etoyama:
    Isn't it interesting how some grandparents are so focussed on what they want that they forget the wishes of their children?

    Yes. And this could apply to SO many things!

                                       
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  • My mom is the same way. She was way overbearing when I was pregnant and I probably vented quite a bit about it on here. Now that the baby is here, her focus is on LO. She was always "I'll never get to be a grandma", because my sister never had kids and I never thought I was going to, either. So she's really soaking it up.

    She wants more grandchildren, but I'm not sure if I'm ready for 2 kids. I'd probably be fine with one and done, but I get sad when I think of Nomie growing up and that makes me want another baby. 

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