Babies: 3 - 6 Months

"Let babies be babies!"

Stop saying this.  Moms who let their babies cry a little to give them a chance to put themselves to sleep are not trying to stop their babies from being babies.  They are trying to help their babies learn to do things that they're capable of doing themselves (self-soothing, for example).  This is healthy, normal, and developmentally appropriate.  

It's rude and condescending to imply that moms who do these things are doing it for selfish reasons like wanting their babies to "grow up" and "get past the baby phase."  We are all trying to do what is best for our babies.  You're allowed to disagree with what that is, but don't act like anyone who doesn't parent just like you do is selfish.

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Re: "Let babies be babies!"

  • Try not to worry too much about others thoughts, trust me you'll never ever get everyone's approval when making a decision for your LO. ESPECIALLY on thebump... but that'st just my opinion.

    That being said, I do feel like people working really hard to teach their babies to selt soothe etc is not always necessary, as I do believe that this stage will be over so soon... so I try my best to enjoy all that spolied crying (yes, my LO is spoiled, I don't care what anyone says you can spoil a baby... mine is proof). I am so thankful to have her, that I don't mind toting her around and giving into her neediness. But that's just me. You have to do what's best for you and your LO.

  • I'm the queen of that phrase.

    All I mean by it is, don't force something they're not ready for.

    Baby stages happen in time.

    Of course it's okay to let kids cry a bit (i do it too, self soothing is important). I try to have my kid have a bit of a routine.

    What I'm implying by that phrase is there's no sense in trying too hard. A loose plan is fine but babies do what babies want.

    It's one thing to encourage their developmental milestones. However, I feel like I read a 100xs a day on here about people that are forcing their kids to do stuff (sleep all night at 3 months, only eat 4 bottles a day!). That's not typical baby behavior. And it makes me sad to see moms on her miserable over it, where if they'd just relax a little they'd all be much better off.

    It's okay to have a kid fit into your lifestyle but there's a point where you have to just work with a baby's natural rythym.

    You're taking me way too seriously if you think I'm implying people are bad mothers by encouraging things along. If it works for you and you're happy with your choices, by all means, go for it. I don't particularly care. However, when people come on here ranting about how they tried something that's not working because they read/someone said they should, well then of course I'm going to say, "let babies be babies and try again later/try something else."

  • And also you said it yourself,

    "They are trying to help babies do things they are capable of."

    That's fine. I can't argue with that. For example:

    Letting a 3 week old CIO: They're not developmentally capable.

    Letting a 4 month old CIO: maybe

    Letting a 7 month old CIO: by all means rock n roll on that.

    Scheduling a 2 week old on 5 bottles a day: They're not developmentally capable

    Scheduling a 4 month old on 5 bottles a day: By all means try and see

    Scheduling a 7 month old on 5 bottles a day: go for it.

    I will say let babies be babies when I feel they're at an age where what mom wants to try is not developmentally appropriate, kwim? I'm not judging just trying to point out they're probably not ready.

     

  • image dairygirl19:

    I'm the queen of that phrase.

    All I mean by it is, don't force something they're not ready for.

    Baby stages happen in time.

    Of course it's okay to let kids cry a bit (i do it too, self soothing is important). I try to have my kid have a bit of a routine.

    What I'm implying by that phrase is there's no sense in trying too hard. A loose plan is fine but babies do what babies want.

    It's one thing to encourage their developmental milestones. However, I feel like I read a 100xs a day on here about people that are forcing their kids to do stuff (sleep all night at 3 months, only eat 4 bottles a day!). That's not typical baby behavior. And it makes me sad to see moms on her miserable over it, where if they'd just relax a little they'd all be much better off.

    It's okay to have a kid fit into your lifestyle but there's a point where you have to just work with a baby's natural rythym.

    You're taking me way too seriously if you think I'm implying people are bad mothers by encouraging things along. If it works for you and you're happy with your choices, by all means, go for it. I don't particularly care. However, when people come on here ranting about how they tried something that's not working because they read/someone said they should, well then of course I'm going to say, "let babies be babies and try again later/try something else."

    I guess I wasn't clear. :) I meant that it's annoying when people use this phrase in response to people letting their babies cry, not in response to actual cases in which people are pushing babies to do things they're not ready for. 

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  • image Snapdragon750:
    image dairygirl19:

    I'm the queen of that phrase.

    All I mean by it is, don't force something they're not ready for.

    Baby stages happen in time.

    Of course it's okay to let kids cry a bit (i do it too, self soothing is important). I try to have my kid have a bit of a routine.

    What I'm implying by that phrase is there's no sense in trying too hard. A loose plan is fine but babies do what babies want.

    It's one thing to encourage their developmental milestones. However, I feel like I read a 100xs a day on here about people that are forcing their kids to do stuff (sleep all night at 3 months, only eat 4 bottles a day!). That's not typical baby behavior. And it makes me sad to see moms on her miserable over it, where if they'd just relax a little they'd all be much better off.

    It's okay to have a kid fit into your lifestyle but there's a point where you have to just work with a baby's natural rythym.

    You're taking me way too seriously if you think I'm implying people are bad mothers by encouraging things along. If it works for you and you're happy with your choices, by all means, go for it. I don't particularly care. However, when people come on here ranting about how they tried something that's not working because they read/someone said they should, well then of course I'm going to say, "let babies be babies and try again later/try something else."

    I guess I wasn't clear. :) I meant that it's annoying when people use this phrase in response to people letting their babies cry, not in response to actual cases in which people are pushing babies to do things they're not ready for. 

    Ahh I get it. Sorry, I was probably pretty hard on you. It is annoying in that sense. I just get annoyed by all the "push, push, push your kid to do XYZ." Why?

  • My recent phrase has become, parenting is like cooking, we all have different recipes, pots pans, and ingredients.  Everyone is going to parent differently. 
    image Jacob was due 23 July Born 20 June image image image image
  • Somebody got their e-feelings hurt.  

    I have no idea what this is in reference to, but seriously, it is the web.  You've gotta have thicker skin to be on anonymous message boards... 

    Born at 31w3d due to severe IUGR & Placental Insufficiency--2lbs 3ounces
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    We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
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  • I don't think letting babies be babies is bad advice - from what I've read, being there to sooth a baby right away is good for their sense of security and can lead to less crying once they're a toddler.
  • image Hope2Have:

    Try not to worry too much about others thoughts, trust me you'll never ever get everyone's approval when making a decision for your LO. ESPECIALLY on thebump... but that'st just my opinion.

    That being said, I do feel like people working really hard to teach their babies to selt soothe etc is not always necessary, as I do believe that this stage will be over so soon... so I try my best to enjoy all that spolied crying (yes, my LO is spoiled, I don't care what anyone says you can spoil a baby... mine is proof). I am so thankful to have her, that I don't mind toting her around and giving into her neediness. But that's just me. You have to do what's best for you and your LO.

    ITA with you here. My baby girl is spoiled rotten and I don't mind for now. I too think that this phase will be over much too quickly and I know I'm going to miss it like crazy. So if I have to spoil her, so be it.

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  • I am an admitted spoiler of my little man. I just can't help myself. I want to cuddle and love him up while he'll still let me! I may regret this in the future but oh well Smile

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  • Speaking of spoiling babies, I'm guilty of it too, although I don't think it's possible to spoil young babies...toddlers, yes, but not so much with newborns. I have friends that say my daughter is manipulating or playing me and I'll pay for it later. I don't think 4 mo olds know cause and effect enough to be capable of manipulation. But hey, to each their own. I'm happy holding and cuddling my daughter as much as she wants :)
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                               photo photosig3_zps92919c91.jpg Just said good bye Sept. 19th (MMC at 12 weeks)
  • image danienicole99:

    I am an admitted spoiler of my little man. I just can't help myself. I want to cuddle and love him up while he'll still let me! I may regret this in the future but oh well Smile

     

    You shouldn't feel like you are spoiling him. You can't spoil with love. I don't think you'll ever regret showing him love.

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  • image eliselucas:
    image danienicole99:

    I am an admitted spoiler of my little man. I just can't help myself. I want to cuddle and love him up while he'll still let me! I may regret this in the future but oh well Smile

     

    You shouldn't feel like you are spoiling him. You can't spoil with love. I don't think you'll ever regret showing him love.

    I agree! Enjoy this time and shower your little guy with as much love as you can. I think it's impossible to "spoil" a baby. 

  • image lincolngirl:
    I don't think letting babies be babies is bad advice - from what I've read, being there to sooth a baby right away is good for their sense of security and can lead to less crying once they're a toddler.

    I agree with this, I have read many negative things regarding CIO . I am also one who "spoiles" their baby. I respond to every cry, grunt and groan I feed on demand and for comfort. I simply follow my instinks ther is a reason we find it hard to listen to our little ones cry. Granted if he is fussing/crying while I am cooking dinner, in the bathroom etc I don't rush over I just talk to him until I can get over to him and he usually calms down.

    I also believe everyone parents differently and wont preach to those that CIO if it works for you great, do I agree with it? do whats right for you don't let other people make you feel bad or otherwise.

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  • image katie4253:

    Somebody got their e-feelings hurt.  

    I have no idea what this is in reference to, but seriously, it is the web.  You've gotta have thicker skin to be on anonymous message boards... 

    I think it's so funny when people say this. :) What are you imagining I was spending all day stomping around my house and fuming about it or something? 

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  • image eliselucas:
    image danienicole99:

    I am an admitted spoiler of my little man. I just can't help myself. I want to cuddle and love him up while he'll still let me! I may regret this in the future but oh well Smile

     

    You shouldn't feel like you are spoiling him. You can't spoil with love. I don't think you'll ever regret showing him love.

    Yes Like.

    I hate when people tell me I spoil Sofia.  I'm like, how??? Because i'm not ashamed to show my CHILD constant love? If that's the case, then so be it.

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