Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Do you leave LO in the house alone?

So the complete hijacking of ABColeslaw's post below about being mad at her DH got me thinking about this. We live in a house, so I would go to my car, which is in the driveway, or grab the mail, if DS was asleep. But no way would I go anywhere else. And if we lived in an apartment, where I'd be out of sight and monitor range, I would never do it. I equate this to leaving LO in the car, which I also don't do. But I'm realizing there are some very different opinions on this subject, so let's hear them.[Poll]
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Re: Do you leave LO in the house alone?

  • I will grab the newspaper in the morning or the mail at the end of my driveway, but that's it. I bring the monitor with me when I shower or if I'm gardening in the backyard. I'm not a neurotic person (I guess no one wants to believe they are, though ;) ).
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  • I go to our car or to take out the trash but its right outside our door. When I lived in an elevator building in Manhattan there was a drug store at the ground floor. If I needed something I waited until my son was awake and I would take him down w/ me. I never left the building or even our floor unless he was with me. We had shared laundry on our floor and I would do that.
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  • In the summer when LO was sleeping I would turn on the video monitor and lock the doors to the house and we would have a fire outside in the yard and in the winter we will turn on the monitor and do some shoveling when she is asleep. I crank the speaker and always check the picture just in case. It has worked out so far but I wouldn't do any more than that. She is still in the full crib so I'm sure this will change once she is in a big girl bed when she can go in and out at any time.
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  • I may run to the car but other than that no. But he also doesn't have a medical condition. I totally stand by ABc decision. She knows her child better than anyone else.
  • I have left DD in the house to get stuff from the car, like groceries.  However, I have only done it when she is in the crib or in her room with the gate shut and since my driveway is in front of my house, its usually less than a minute or I am in and out unloading groceries.  ABC's situation is quite different though when you weigh in the severe medical issues her child suffers from and the fact that she would be gone more than a minute or two.
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  • DD#1, yes, for about an hour after school because she gets out at 4 and I get home shortly after that. Otherwise, no. Not even to go down to my car to get a turkey. lol
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  • Guess I'm in the bad mom club because I used to do it all the time when we lived in Chicago. DH works 14hr shifts and someone had to take the dog outside to potty. We lived in a 3rd story condo and I would wait until DD was asleep, lock the doors and go outside. It usually took about 5 minutes. During winter with a few feet of snow on the ground I wasn't about to wake DD up and take her with me. I honestly never even thought twice about it.....she was safe & warm in her crib.
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  • We live in a house, so I will run to the mailbox or to my car and grab something.  But again, that's about 15 feet from my front door.

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  • image Kern91:
    In the summer when LO was sleeping I would turn on the video monitor and lock the doors to the house and we would have a fire outside in the yard and in the winter we will turn on the monitor and do some shoveling when she is asleep. I crank the speaker and always check the picture just in case. It has worked out so far but I wouldn't do any more than that. She is still in the full crib so I'm sure this will change once she is in a big girl bed when she can go in and out at any time.

    I could have written this post word for word.  (In addition to to the video monitor, I also take the Angel Care Monitor, but that's because I am crazy about that thing.)

    That being said, the travel time between the end of my driveway to Kennedy's bedroom is about 30 seconds, maximum!  Thus, it is VERY different than exiting an apartment, locking the door, taking the stairs/elevator down three flights, exiting the building, walking across to the other side of the parking lot, retrieving a turkey, and retracing my steps back up.  That, I would not do.

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  • I guess I'm in the minority, but during naptime DS and I usually go outside when the weather is nice. We will take short walks to the mailbox (cluster boxes 3 houses down on the sidewalk) and play outside in the yard. We also on occasion go to the neighbors' house and chat with her on the porch. In the winter, I will shovel the driveway or play with DS in the snow. We are always within view of the house, though, and I always have the monitor outside.

    After the kids go to bed, we have also on occasion hung out with the neighbors either on their patio or on ours, again in view of the house with the monitor (it reaches).

    If I'm in view of the house and can hear, I don't see how that is any different than if I am in the shower or working out in the basement. She is still in the crib, so depending on how she is when she's in a bed, that may change, I suppose.

    I should add that I live in a regular house in a very safe neighborhood. I doubt if I would do this if it were a different living situation, or if LOs had medical issues. 

     

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  • image justbeachy109:
    DD#1, yes, for about an hour after school because she gets out at 4 and I get home shortly after that. Otherwise, no. Not even to go down to my car to get a turkey. lol
    What? How old is she?
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  • image MCC1010:
    image justbeachy109:
    DD#1, yes, for about an hour after school because she gets out at 4 and I get home shortly after that. Otherwise, no. Not even to go down to my car to get a turkey. lol
    What? How old is she?

    11. She is in 6th grade and it's middle school here. I hate it. I used to work from 8-5, but I changed my schedule to 7-4 so I could be home right after she gets home. 

     

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  • To my own back or front yard, or the car in the driveway? Yes. I can't carry groceries and both girls, so I bring them in and go the 10 ft back to the car for the groceries. If they are both asleep, I have no problem taking the monitor with me to throw the garbage in the bin out back or look for something in the garage. 

    Now, if we were still in our old apartment with two flights of stairs and almost a block to walk to get to our parking space, not a chance. There would be no way I could get back fast enough if something went wrong.

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  • image justbeachy109:

    image MCC1010:
    image justbeachy109:
    DD#1, yes, for about an hour after school because she gets out at 4 and I get home shortly after that. Otherwise, no. Not even to go down to my car to get a turkey. lol
    What? How old is she?

    11. She is in 6th grade and it's middle school here. I hate it. I used to work from 8-5, but I changed my schedule to 7-4 so I could be home right after she gets home. 

    LOL your ticker threw me off. I thought you were saying you left your toddler home alone for an hour. I was about to give you a public flogging.
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  • Yes, if it's just to run to the car to grab something or refill the bird feeder or similar. I wouldn't leave him to go for a walk or traipse to the mailbox (three buildings away) but 30 seconds to grab the groceries, yeah. 
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  • image MCC1010:
    image justbeachy109:

    image MCC1010:
    image justbeachy109:
    DD#1, yes, for about an hour after school because she gets out at 4 and I get home shortly after that. Otherwise, no. Not even to go down to my car to get a turkey. lol
    What? How old is she?

    11. She is in 6th grade and it's middle school here. I hate it. I used to work from 8-5, but I changed my schedule to 7-4 so I could be home right after she gets home. 

    LOL your ticker threw me off. I thought you were saying you left your toddler home alone for an hour. I was about to give you a public flogging.

    Haha OMG no. I am too paranoid to leave her alone for 2 seconds.

     

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  • if my kid had stopped breathing, i would feel differently. i had no idea that abc had had that experience when i initially responded. i answered that i would go to a neighbor's house. when we first moved in to this house, we hadn't yet gotten a baby monitor and h and i would come and go moving things in the extra room we have in the yard while lo slept in the main house. he was only 8 months at the time, and i would never do this once he reaches a more mobile age.

    btw, i nearly made this post! thanks, i was so curious about this, but didn't want veronica to assault me Zip it!

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  • I routinely bring LO in, put her in the pack n play or playpen and then get the groceries. I live in an apartment complex. I don't see how an apartment complex changes the answer, it's not like you wouldn't have your eye on the door or that people are really traipsing in and out all hours of the day and night like a 7-11. I equate going to get groceries to taking a poop or being in the shower, I can't jump out that quickly so it's not the end of the world if I am not close by for less than 5 minutes.

    I also didn't realize that her LO had stopped breathing multiple times before I answered, but I still honestly don't think I'd have an issue with literally running to my car to grab something while my LO was sleeping. I can't imagine a walk down 3 flights of stairs and what I imagine to be a short parking lot taking any longer than 3 minutes.

    Unless I lived in a high rise with an underground lot or something my answer would not change. 

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  • image SnoopyLuv:

    I routinely bring LO in, put her in the pack n play or playpen and then get the groceries. I live in an apartment complex. I don't see how an apartment complex changes the answer, it's not like you wouldn't have your eye on the door or that people are really traipsing in and out all hours of the day and night like a 7-11. I equate going to get groceries to taking a poop or being in the shower, I can't jump out that quickly so it's not the end of the world if I am not close by for less than 5 minutes.

    I also didn't realize that her LO had stopped breathing multiple times before I answered, but I still honestly don't think I'd have an issue with literally running to my car to grab something while my LO was sleeping. I can't imagine a walk down 3 flights of stairs and what I imagine to be a short parking lot taking any longer than 3 minutes.

    Unless I lived in a high rise with an underground lot or something my answer would not change. 

    The first time Asher stopped breathing, I was home by myself with no cell reception.  It took me three-five minutes to drive to the hospital with him in my lap rescue breathing. (Our hosp is close by) You know what they said?  "Its a good thing you got him here when you did"  

    Is it the same for everyone?  No of course not.  Your life and your kids are going to be completely different than someone else'.  But in my life, three minutes can make a huge difference.

    I also think your perspective changes when you go through things like that with your kids.  Its just different when you see you infant blue in the face and you're frantically trying to save them.  I was never uptight and overprotective until that happened.  And I have a crazy adopted teenager.  I've always been fairly easy going.  

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  • image Brandi Bee:
    image SnoopyLuv:

    I routinely bring LO in, put her in the pack n play or playpen and then get the groceries. I live in an apartment complex. I don't see how an apartment complex changes the answer, it's not like you wouldn't have your eye on the door or that people are really traipsing in and out all hours of the day and night like a 7-11. I equate going to get groceries to taking a poop or being in the shower, I can't jump out that quickly so it's not the end of the world if I am not close by for less than 5 minutes.

    I also didn't realize that her LO had stopped breathing multiple times before I answered, but I still honestly don't think I'd have an issue with literally running to my car to grab something while my LO was sleeping. I can't imagine a walk down 3 flights of stairs and what I imagine to be a short parking lot taking any longer than 3 minutes.

    Unless I lived in a high rise with an underground lot or something my answer would not change. 

    I don't understand why you care if it changes for others if it's an apartment.  

    It changes for me because maybe that will be the time she decides to successfully climb out of her high chair. Or maybe climb out of her crib/playpen/whatever.  Kind of like how you don't just leave your NB lying on the couch while you walk ten feet away to get a diaper.  They might decide to roll over.  Would it kill her?  Probably not.  Does that mean it's no big deal if it happens?  Of course not!

    With ABC, her child has serious health issues.  It's great that an apnea monitor didn't touch your nerves of steel.  But not everyone is like you and you probably should have considered that before you were a rude smart a$$ from the very beginning.

    I gave my opinion, no reason to get all nutso.

    Also, you're getting your posters confused I did not have a child with an apnea monitor.

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  • Yes I do. I live in an apartment building and bring him upstairs and then go back down to get groceries. I go out to my car or get the mail when he is sleeping. Sometimes I don't even lock the door.

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  • image ABColeslaw:
    image SnoopyLuv:

    I routinely bring LO in, put her in the pack n play or playpen and then get the groceries. I live in an apartment complex. I don't see how an apartment complex changes the answer, it's not like you wouldn't have your eye on the door or that people are really traipsing in and out all hours of the day and night like a 7-11. I equate going to get groceries to taking a poop or being in the shower, I can't jump out that quickly so it's not the end of the world if I am not close by for less than 5 minutes.

    I also didn't realize that her LO had stopped breathing multiple times before I answered, but I still honestly don't think I'd have an issue with literally running to my car to grab something while my LO was sleeping. I can't imagine a walk down 3 flights of stairs and what I imagine to be a short parking lot taking any longer than 3 minutes.

    Unless I lived in a high rise with an underground lot or something my answer would not change. 

    The first time Asher stopped breathing, I was home by myself with no cell reception.  It took me three-five minutes to drive to the hospital with him in my lap rescue breathing. (Our hosp is close by) You know what they said?  "Its a good thing you got him here when you did"  

    Is it the same for everyone?  No of course not.  Your life and your kids are going to be completely different than someone else'.  But in my life, three minutes can make a huge difference.

    I also think your perspective changes when you go through things like that with your kids.  Its just different when you see you infant blue in the face and you're frantically trying to save them.  I was never uptight and overprotective until that happened.  And I have a crazy adopted teenager.  I've always been fairly easy going.  

    And I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I can't and don't want to imagine that.

    I again, just stated my opinion that I can't stand over my kid 24/7 and if they were sleeping I see no harm in it. If we lived in a day and age where the angelcare monitor or hell, even regular monitors didn't exist this would be a non-issue. I think it's because we have all the information/connection available to us that we all get a little on edge about this stuff. I just really see all this from a very different perspective than most. I guess I think that if something is going to happen it's not going to be because I decided to get that bag I left in the car.

    I honestly didn't know about Asher's issues and I probably wouldn't have said anything if I did know. I just find the hyper vigilance strange, is all.

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  • I will run to the garage to crab something, sit on the back patio, etc. with the monitor. I would not walk even to the neighbors house with DD in there alone.
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  • I make sure that DD is sound asleep, and then I will go outside and do yard work or gardening. We live on 5 acres and I can't always be within the range of the monitor, but if I have to go to a remote corner of the property I make it quick and then get back in range within a minute or two. I couldn't imagine being stuck in the house the entire time that she naps!  
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  • Only to run to the back of the house to take the dog out or to run to the car and if it is more than 30 secs I take the Angelcare with me.   I can't believe what douchegoofs everyone is being towards ABC.  Your child, your rules - you do what makes you feel comfortable.   End of story.  Never seen such a bunch of insensitive stupid arses on here before.  
  • SS: I used to live on the fourth floor of an apartment and I'd leave DD sleeping (when she was the only child and was a baby), while I went to the first floor to check the mail.

    I equate it to living in a huge mansion and going to the kitchen or something on a different level of a very large house.

    ETA: In my house (not apartment), I have left one of the kids in the house while taking the other one to the car, then coming back to the house (and leaving the first one in the car) to retrieve the other kid.

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  • We live in a co-op. The only times we've left DS alone was to get mail and drop off laundry (laundry room in building) and ONLY when he's asleep. Otherwise, we take him with us.

    I would never leave him alone, ever, if he were awake.

  • I went 2 doors down, across the street once. *waits for collective gasps*

    I bought a cool play kitchen set at a yard sale and I couldnt carry it home along with the kids. DH was at work. I paid for it and told the neighbor I'd be right back.

    I put the baby in the exersaucer and DS in a safe spot with mickey mouse clubhouse on so he'd stay put.

    In the whole 45 seconds I was gone, they surprisingly lived to tell the tale.

    I also get the mail everyday and start the car so I can put the kids in a warm car. I'm a rebel I suppose.

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  • We don't have barring medical issues.  That would also change my answer.

    I have left my LO inside to run outside really quick while he was awake, while asleep and with the monitor, I'd go to a neighbor's house quickly usually to tend to something with the older kids...watch them walk over, give them a message about when to be home, tell them when lunch will be ready, watch them play (usually our neighbors dad is outside watching the kids and working) etc

    I have left my 4 year old inside sleeping to pick up his sister from school (its a couple of houses down-3) and with a monitor.  I knew he likely wouldn't wake up. My biggest fear was that he would and would feel all alone. I'd also walk to the mailbox (in front of the house), car, etc

    I don't leave candles, burners or stoves on... 

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