Oh okay, I will go ask the doctors involved in the studies I read, perhaps I'll send a letter to the author of the book "Male Practice" and ask him If i can avoid vaginal exams and still receive an epidural on my terms. Thanks for basically answering my question with "I don't know and no one else on here does either." Why even post?
Why are you so full of hate.... go ask your Fi to play with your vagina maybe it will put you in a better mood
An honest suggestion...pick up Natural Hospital Birth, by Cynthia Gabriel tonight. Thought an Epi wouldn't be a natural birth, it addresses cervical checks. This may help you in your decision.
Wow, thanks a real suggestion without judgement or hysterics. Thanks!
You have been given quite a bit of good suggestions. You are just not addressing it if the advice does not suggest another book. You can read all the books you want, but you need to find an OB or MW who is going to honor your wishes. Plain and simple.
"When the world says, 'Give up,' Hope whispers, 'Try one more time.'" -Anonymous
Nope. there's no other way you won't feel it so you will have to be checked. Good luck at trying to not get checked throughout the entire process, you will need to be checked to make sure the baby isn't in the wrong position!!
You are in a dream world if you think you won't need to be checked throughout labor.
You actually do not have to do anything you do not want to and I know several women who were not checked throughout the process although they were having natural births. I also know several women who could still feel the urge even with an epidural and were able to avoid VEs altogether as well. I know all of the reasons people get vaginal exams during delivery and I know they are not always necessary...that was not my question...my question is if they can hold my epidural hostage.
Then why are you asking us if they will hold your epidural if you are saying you know all these answers. Its just like you are wasting your own time to even post this. Every hospital is different, every hospital has different procedures for things. So ask your OB or MW or L&D deck.
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I'm SURE this has all been covered, but would just like to point out- I had a COMPLETELY asymptomatic vaginal infection for several months that is probably the cause of my 1st miscarriage. Afterwards, it continued for several months. We only know this bc of how high it was in my tubes and FINALLY giving me symptoms. It took several rounds of a really scary antibiotic, along with anti-fungal meds to clear it. I had trouble with it for almost 3 years. So. You can asymptomatic and be hurting your child AND your fertility. And yourSELF. I felt so crappy, but wasn't sick. Just run down. Thought it was the m/c, but those don't typically take several months to recover from. Never having been thru it, I had no idea. Also, I am pretty sure that if you refuse to get checked, they will refuse the epidural. They check you for a reason, not for kicks.
Nope. there's no other way you won't feel it so you will have to be checked. Good luck at trying to not get checked throughout the entire process, you will need to be checked to make sure the baby isn't in the wrong position!!
You are in a dream world if you think you won't need to be checked throughout labor.
You actually do not have to do anything you do not want to and I know several women who were not checked throughout the process although they were having natural births. I also know several women who could still feel the urge even with an epidural and were able to avoid VEs altogether as well. I know all of the reasons people get vaginal exams during delivery and I know they are not always necessary...that was not my question...my question is if they can hold my epidural hostage.
Perhaps you should ask the several women that you said you know who have gone through it? They would likely know the answers to your questions.
BFP#1-02/21/11 Missed M/C Twins-03/25/11 EDD-11/04/11
BFP#2-10dpo- 05/27/11 EDD 02/03/12
Our miracle Aidan James born 01/25/12!!
I'm SURE this has all been covered, but would just like to point out- I had a COMPLETELY asymptomatic vaginal infection for several months that is probably the cause of my 1st miscarriage. Afterwards, it continued for several months. We only know this bc of how high it was in my tubes and FINALLY giving me symptoms. It took several rounds of a really scary antibiotic, along with anti-fungal meds to clear it. I had trouble with it for almost 3 years. So. You can asymptomatic and be hurting your child AND your fertility. And yourSELF. I felt so crappy, but wasn't sick. Just run down. Thought it was the m/c, but those don't typically take several months to recover from. Never having been thru it, I had no idea. Also, I am pretty sure that if you refuse to get checked, they will refuse the epidural. They check you for a reason, not for kicks.
Now all of that was just completely unhelpful and not what she actually asked. Don't you get the point of these boards? Really! We are only here to give validation and support to something we have stated is not something we can help her answer. None of us have been around here very long, so we need to start taking notes.
**Sorry for your loss**
"When the world says, 'Give up,' Hope whispers, 'Try one more time.'" -Anonymous
Oh okay, I will go ask the doctors involved in the studies I read, perhaps I'll send a letter to the author of the book "Male Practice" and ask him If i can avoid vaginal exams and still receive an epidural on my terms. Thanks for basically answering my question with "I don't know and no one else on here does either." Why even post?
You joined the bump yesterday. We have no idea who you are or what your background is. You expect an answer from us non-medical folk that isn't really appropriate for us to give you. You didn't get the answer you wanted, so now you're upset? I suppose you make one valid point in your total of five posts...why even post?
SImply annoyed that everyone still thinks their OPINION is necessary to voice to everyone. I was thinking perhaps someone had gone through the procedure and avoided VEs or perhaps had simmilar issues and spoke to their doctor about it and was told this or that by them - which is why i posted here...I really didn't expect to get a bunch of "I don't knows" "thats a stupid question" etc...I kinda thought those people would pass since they have nothing valuable to add.
Not trying to play Captain Obvious here, but all you can get on this board is opinion...or opinion-esque in nature when it comes to a medically related question such as the original one you posed. Even if ONE person were to say they were able to pop into a hospital, get an epi before they could feel an ounce of pain, and never have a VE---well, that's one person, and it wouldn't be the same situation for you, probably because doctors are different, hospital regulations are different, and...the people in question are different.
1. Maybe you need to get over your vagina-shyness?
2. Just because SOME women were able to feel the urge to push with an epidural does not necessarily mean that YOU will feel it to. Everybody's labor/birth experience is different.
3. If you want to know if your hospital/dr. will withhold an epidural, ASK THEM. You are over halfway through your pregnancy, why haven't you brought it up already?
Really? since I am okay with having sex with my fiancee I should be okay with all vagina related issues? That's a ridiculous mentality. but thanks for being judgmental and completely not helpful!
In my opinion, yes, you should be ok with vagina-related issues if you're going to be sexually active. It's part of the territory and that's not a ridculous mentality. I see no reason why any doctor should give you what you want if they don't feel like they have all of the information they need in order to know that it's medically necessary. This is just bizarre. It's like asking for antibiotics without letting a doctor check if you have strep throat first, or saying you need vicodin for a kidney stone you're pretty sure you have but you're not going to let them verify.
By the way, you are SO lucky you're not having multiples or are high risk. Doctors are in my vag EVERY WEEK. And I absolutely want them to do it- for my safety and the babies' safety.
If it seriously impeded them from safely giving me an epidural in their professional opinion...and didn't just make them work a little harder to assess where I am at then of course Ill allow it to be done.but if it is just easier, quicker, and procedure then I am not all for it as it causes a great amount of distress and pain for me which we all know is not good for a laboring woman and child. I would have to be truly convinced that they were worried about giving me medication because they truly could not figure out what point I was at. I am just trying to figure out if it is unnecessary in the way that I've found pelvic exams and paps to be. I am glad you are okay with getting paps and VEs done...truly wish I could be okay with it too but I am not and can't be so please do not tell me to be okay with something just because I chose to indulge in the incredibly human act of making love to my fiancee.
SImply annoyed that everyone still thinks their OPINION is necessary to voice to everyone.
Um- perhaps you should have spent more time figuring out what this website is about- we are here to share our opinions. Heaven forbid some of us have a different viewpoint and try to explain it. It's what we do!
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Really? since I am okay with having sex with my fiancee I should be okay with all vagina related issues? That's a ridiculous mentality. but thanks for being judgmental and completely not helpful!
In my opinion, yes, you should be ok with vagina-related issues if you're going to be sexually active. It's part of the territory and that's not a ridculous mentality. I see no reason why any doctor should give you what you want if they don't feel like they have all of the information they need in order to know that it's medically necessary. This is just bizarre. It's like asking for antibiotics without letting a doctor check if you have strep throat first, or saying you need vicodin for a kidney stone you're pretty sure you have but you're not going to let them verify.
By the way, you are SO lucky you're not having multiples or are high risk. Doctors are in my vag EVERY WEEK. And I absolutely want them to do it- for my safety and the babies' safety.
If it seriously impeded them from safely giving me an epidural in their professional opinion...and didn't just make them work a little harder to assess where I am at then of course Ill allow it to be done.but if it is just easier, quicker, and procedure then I am not all for it as it causes a great amount of distress and pain for me which we all know is not good for a laboring woman and child. I would have to be truly convinced that they were worried about giving me medication because they truly could not figure out what point I was at. I am just trying to figure out if it is unnecessary in the way that I've found pelvic exams and paps to be. I am glad you are okay with getting paps and VEs done...truly wish I could be okay with it too but I am not and can't be so please do not tell me to be okay with something just because I chose to indulge in the incredibly human act of making love to my fiancee.
This is the issue?? okay first of all...did you think giving birth would be SUNSHINE and EFFING ROSES?! Its going to hurt, and you will probably tear, and you will have all sorts pains and shiz. and THIS is they reason you don't want it... did you think the kid would walk out on her own?! You will be in pain. I think the LAST thing you will care about is some doctor sticking his hand anywhere NEAR your Vagina, honey.
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Still trying to get over the "don't want 'unnecessary' vaginal exam but want the epi as soon as I can get my paws on it" reasoning, but here goes...
As many of the PPs have said, this sounds like a question for your practitioner and your hospital... but YES, just as you have the right to refuse medical procedures, your practitioner/hospital has the right to refuse the administration of drugs if you choose not to comply with their policies related to those drugs. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Or maybe "you can't have your pristine vagina and your epi too" would be more appropriate.
I have never heard of such a thing... I had HPV many years ago (about 6).. My cells down there were abnormal so they had to be frozen off as to not lead to cancer (preventative). After that I had to be checked quite frequently down there to make sure the abnormal cells didn't come back (thank God they didn't!!) But I never would have known without a pap... Why wouldn't you want preventative measures done before finding out something is wrong that cannot be controlled? I can't for the life of me understand this. I know my question has totally gotten away from your question on your post, but if you could please explain.. I would really like to hear where you are coming from. Do you also not believe in mammograms?
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1. Maybe you need to get over your vagina-shyness?
2. Just because SOME women were able to feel the urge to push does not necessarily mean that YOU will feel it to. Everybody's labor/birth experience is different.
3. If you want to know if your hospital/dr. will withhold an epidural, ASK THEM. You are over halfway through your pregnancy, why haven't you brought it up already?
If just getting over it before the baby comes was an option, id gladly take it. haha
I have asked 2 doctors and I moved to a different state so I am looking for one here now...the first one told me we would wait and see what I need at the time. That didn't really answer my question and seemed to be their answer to everything so I switched doctors and the 2nd one told me that she doesn't see a problem with giving me an epidural without checking me if I am having strong contractions however the hospital has policies etc. So that is kind of vague as well. I will be asking my new doctor asap but I thought I could get some valuable input from women who may feel this way or knows someone who does or whatever. I also flat out say in my OP that I may not feel the urge to push...so yes, I know this.
If you're so damned above us, why didn't you just go to your all-knowing hippie doctors first?
Please do not compare "hippie" Dr. and MW with this kook. ;b
I wish I could find a Hiipie doctor! haha I never meant to sound like I was above you...thats weird that you would get that. I am dysfunctional in this area and trying to cope is that not obvious? Clearly it is better to not have vagina issues.
Ok- now this seems to be different from what you originally said. Now you're saying you wish you could be ok with it but it causes a great deal of distress and pain. Before you seemed to be saying it just wasn't necessary.
No one is going to tell you that these exams are pleasant, but you do get used to them. I don't think anyone looks forward to their annual exam. I know the first time I had to have an internal ultrasound to check my cervix,even after annual paps for the last 10 years, I was nervous. But doctors are only doing these things for your own good. They are professionals, and they usually will also have another person in the room. If you share your fear/ concerns with them, I bet they will do everything they can to put you at ease. (Talk you through it, let you know what they're doing and why). By the way, these checks- internal ultrasounds, paps, whatever, are over before you know it. Literally like 2 minutes.
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SImply annoyed that everyone still thinks their OPINION is necessary to voice to everyone.
Um- perhaps you should have spent more time figuring out what this website is about- we are here to share our opinions. Heaven forbid some of us have a different viewpoint and try to explain it. It's what we do!
I have never heard of this blue line business, but if it were true, don't you think that's what the doctors would use? It's much easier to look at someone's back than to glove up, lube up, and stick your hand up someone's vagina.
We are not turkeys. It's not like we get blue lines up our backs and then our noses light up red when we're complete and ready to push.
An honest suggestion...pick up Natural Hospital Birth, by Cynthia Gabriel tonight. Thought an Epi wouldn't be a natural birth, it addresses cervical checks. This may help you in your decision.
Wow, thanks a real suggestion without judgement or hysterics. Thanks!
REALLY?! DO you READ all of the posts!? HALF of these women are actually giving you some DAMN good advice...GO TO THE NATURAL BIRTHS BOARD...They may be "SMARTER" than US, SNARKY B!tches. Yes. that's a great idea...GO OVER THERE, some of us did have a decent response...next time read everything and maybe use your adult brain and not your teenage one when responding...UGH i'm SO over this SHiz today!
I actually didn't get a chance to read all - but surly less than half have given valuable input. In any case thanks for validating my hysterics claim...sounds like you are the over emotional one.
I have asked 2 doctors and I moved to a different state so I am looking for one here now...the first one told me we would wait and see what I need at the time. That didn't really answer my question and seemed to be their answer to everything so I switched doctors and the 2nd one told me that she doesn't see a problem with giving me an epidural without checking me if I am having strong contractions however the hospital has policies etc. So that is kind of vague as well. I will be asking my new doctor asap but I thought I could get some valuable input from women who may feel this way or knows someone who does or whatever. I also flat out say in my OP that I may not feel the urge to push...so yes, I know this.
TBH, there's probably a really good reason both responses you've gotten from medical professionals have been vague. No one knows what's going to happen to you when you go into labor. It could be good, it could be bad. No doctor is going to tell you they will or will not do something that can't be guaranteed. Their responses make total sense, and I'm not sure what else you could really hope for. Birth/labor is not an exact science...you can't get guarentees with it.
I am just trying to figure out if it is unnecessary in the way that I've found pelvic exams and paps to be.
You are probably going to differ with most people on this board. Your OPINION is that paps and pelvic exams are unnecessary - when most of the modern world would say otherwise. Likewise, it may be hard for you to find a doctor nowadays who will find checking the position of your baby and your dilation and effacement "unnecessary" if you are wanting an epidural.
Like PPs have said, ask the people who will be giving you the epi. They can give you facts. They'll tell you their procedures. On here, we're giving you our opinions based on the ridiculous information you've given us and what we know from our own experiences.
I have never heard of this blue line business, but if it were true, don't you think that's what the doctors would use? It's much easier to look at someone's back than to glove up, lube up, and stick your hand up someone's vagina.
We are not turkeys. It's not like we get blue lines up our backs and then our noses light up red when we're complete and ready to push.
You just completely debunked a legitimate way of seeing how far dilated a woman is based on the fact that we are not Turkeys. haha. some Midwives use this technique it is real...I just don't know how reliable it is or if every women gets it etc. There is now a blood test to test for cervical cancer that is more accurate than pap smears yet it is not being offered to women...so I don't have a ton of faith in doctors doing what is best over what is easiest for them/what has always been done.
Really? since I am okay with having sex with my fiancee I should be okay with all vagina related issues? That's a ridiculous mentality. but thanks for being judgmental and completely not helpful!
In my opinion, yes, you should be ok with vagina-related issues if you're going to be sexually active. It's part of the territory and that's not a ridculous mentality. I see no reason why any doctor should give you what you want if they don't feel like they have all of the information they need in order to know that it's medically necessary. This is just bizarre. It's like asking for antibiotics without letting a doctor check if you have strep throat first, or saying you need vicodin for a kidney stone you're pretty sure you have but you're not going to let them verify.
By the way, you are SO lucky you're not having multiples or are high risk. Doctors are in my vag EVERY WEEK. And I absolutely want them to do it- for my safety and the babies' safety.
If it seriously impeded them from safely giving me an epidural in their professional opinion...and didn't just make them work a little harder to assess where I am at then of course Ill allow it to be done.but if it is just easier, quicker, and procedure then I am not all for it as it causes a great amount of distress and pain for me which we all know is not good for a laboring woman and child. I would have to be truly convinced that they were worried about giving me medication because they truly could not figure out what point I was at. I am just trying to figure out if it is unnecessary in the way that I've found pelvic exams and paps to be. I am glad you are okay with getting paps and VEs done...truly wish I could be okay with it too but I am not and can't be so please do not tell me to be okay with something just because I chose to indulge in the incredibly human act of making love to my fiancee.
Yes, because the vaginal check is going to be the worse part of labor. You need to ask your freaking doctor what their policy is, not a bunch of internet strangers.
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OMG thank you February! I don't see how you can go from stating that vaginal exams and PAPs are unnecessary procedures to being scared of them. Oh wait, you can if you are a MUDdy backtracker
i wish i could be joking but my dad is the music teacher at a church so he owuld be mad. we had sex, all the time how bad i know but we dont want to wait and he said GREAT OH KAY! and I was really feeling the wets? down there- too embarsed to say- but he acted like man.
I have asked 2 doctors and I moved to a different state so I am looking for one here now...the first one told me we would wait and see what I need at the time. That didn't really answer my question and seemed to be their answer to everything so I switched doctors and the 2nd one told me that she doesn't see a problem with giving me an epidural without checking me if I am having strong contractions however the hospital has policies etc. So that is kind of vague as well. I will be asking my new doctor asap but I thought I could get some valuable input from women who may feel this way or knows someone who does or whatever. I also flat out say in my OP that I may not feel the urge to push...so yes, I know this.
TBH, there's probably a really good reason both responses you've gotten from medical professionals have been vague. No one knows what's going to happen to you when you go into labor. It could be good, it could be bad. No doctor is going to tell you they will or will not do something that can't be guaranteed. Their responses make total sense, and I'm not sure what else you could really hope for. Birth/labor is not an exact science...you can't get guarentees with it.
It could totally be that. However, I got the feeling it was more like "im not promising anything because I am going to treat you in the same methodic fashion i treat all my patients and hope that you will be so preoccupied you wont notice." I am asking for special treatment, to go against what these doctors would normally do...I know this...and all I am asking is if in any circumstance, even it its just the best case scenario, will I be able to have this go down how I want it to? Is it at all possible or likely? and a simple "we will see" just isn't cutting it for me.
I have never heard of this blue line business, but if it were true, don't you think that's what the doctors would use? It's much easier to look at someone's back than to glove up, lube up, and stick your hand up someone's vagina.
We are not turkeys. It's not like we get blue lines up our backs and then our noses light up red when we're complete and ready to push.
You just completely debunked a legitimate way of seeing how far dilated a woman is based on the fact that we are not Turkeys. haha. some Midwives use this technique it is real...I just don't know how reliable it is or if every women gets it etc. There is now a blood test to test for cervical cancer that is more accurate than pap smears yet it is not being offered to women...so I don't have a ton of faith in doctors doing what is best over what is easiest for them/what has always been done.
So a ordering a blood test isn't easier than having a woman disrobe, lay on her back, get the speculum, lube it up, place it in, perform several swabs on the cervix inside her body, remove the speculum, lube up gloved hands and perform a pelvic exam? You're right - doctors do what's easier...and they've never ordered bloodwork before. Clearly, since a PAP is what has "always" been done and is easier, that's the way to go. To hell with the simple blood draw.
An honest suggestion...pick up Natural Hospital Birth, by Cynthia Gabriel tonight. Thought an Epi wouldn't be a natural birth, it addresses cervical checks. This may help you in your decision.
Wow, thanks a real suggestion without judgement or hysterics. Thanks!
REALLY?! DO you READ all of the posts!? HALF of these women are actually giving you some DAMN good advice...GO TO THE NATURAL BIRTHS BOARD...They may be "SMARTER" than US, SNARKY B!tches. Yes. that's a great idea...GO OVER THERE, some of us did have a decent response...next time read everything and maybe use your adult brain and not your teenage one when responding...UGH i'm SO over this SHiz today!
I actually didn't get a chance to read all - but surly less than half have given valuable input. In any case thanks for validating my hysterics claim...sounds like you are the over emotional one.
You know what, yes, today I MAY be over emotional, but DO NOT come on to our board, make this an INTRODUCTION post and then post something that isn't even related to an introduction...its not even something any of us can help you with...CLEARLY, and if you had taken the advice given and gone to the right board, all this drama would have not happened, but since you feel the need to call me out on my emotions, i will call you out on your post and comment.
I am seriously SICK of your snide remarks to the people that are "bashing" you...which most are not, the ones that are, well they clearly feel the same way I do, and if this annoys you so much, then move along to one of your many "shortcuts" maybe they will help you, especially the C-Section one, oh or idk maybe the 0-6, or 6-12 month boards. You clearly have no IDEA what this place is about, so before you post something next time, think about it and post it on the board that best fits that POST. Then you will skip all of this so called "unwanted" drama. Get off our board, if you have nothing better to do than be like this. i'm over it!!
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I have never heard of this blue line business, but if it were true, don't you think that's what the doctors would use? It's much easier to look at someone's back than to glove up, lube up, and stick your hand up someone's vagina.
We are not turkeys. It's not like we get blue lines up our backs and then our noses light up red when we're complete and ready to push.
You just completely debunked a legitimate way of seeing how far dilated a woman is based on the fact that we are not Turkeys. haha. some Midwives use this technique it is real...I just don't know how reliable it is or if every women gets it etc. There is now a blood test to test for cervical cancer that is more accurate than pap smears yet it is not being offered to women...so I don't have a ton of faith in doctors doing what is best over what is easiest for them/what has always been done.
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I have never heard of this blue line business, but if it were true, don't you think that's what the doctors would use? It's much easier to look at someone's back than to glove up, lube up, and stick your hand up someone's vagina.
We are not turkeys. It's not like we get blue lines up our backs and then our noses light up red when we're complete and ready to push.
You just completely debunked a legitimate way of seeing how far dilated a woman is based on the fact that we are not Turkeys. haha. some Midwives use this technique it is real...I just don't know how reliable it is or if every women gets it etc. There is now a blood test to test for cervical cancer that is more accurate than pap smears yet it is not being offered to women...so I don't have a ton of faith in doctors doing what is best over what is easiest for them/what has always been done.
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I have never heard of this blue line business, but if it were true, don't you think that's what the doctors would use? It's much easier to look at someone's back than to glove up, lube up, and stick your hand up someone's vagina.
We are not turkeys. It's not like we get blue lines up our backs and then our noses light up red when we're complete and ready to push.
You just completely debunked a legitimate way of seeing how far dilated a woman is based on the fact that we are not Turkeys. haha. some Midwives use this technique it is real...I just don't know how reliable it is or if every women gets it etc. There is now a blood test to test for cervical cancer that is more accurate than pap smears yet it is not being offered to women...so I don't have a ton of faith in doctors doing what is best over what is easiest for them/what has always been done.
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Isn't Feb 2012 where our April 2012 troll moved to and set up camp......new poster asking things that seem ridiculous.......smells like the troll to me.
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FYI, I had an epidural and I couldn't feel a damn thing. I had no clue when to push and I had no clue if I even WAS pushing. I simply couldn't feel anything.
What makes you so sure this isn't going to happen to you too?
I highly doubt any medical professional would back you. No they will not do an epidural with out checking you. It hospital POLICY. And no there is really no way to tell if you're complete unless they check you. Some women have the urge and are only 2 cm. Pushing without being complete is dangerous. Not to mention makes the cervix swell. And I'm not even going to start about the pap smear thing....
Missed MC 11/17/10 Our little miracle born 1/27/12 Natural MC 7/19/12 Missed MC 1/22/13 Our family is complete DD 12/27/13 Abnormal ANA, PAI-1 4G/4G homozygous
What blood test are you referring to? Do you have any evidence at all to back that statement up?
Yes I would like to hear about this too and please cite your resources for me. My mother who died of cervical cancer would have loved a blood test as opposed to every single thing she went through just to diagnose her.
None of it was simple or easy on the Drs or my mother. So please share.
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OMG thank you February! I don't see how you can go from stating that vaginal exams and PAPs are unnecessary procedures to being scared of them. Oh wait, you can if you are a MUDdy backtracker
I don't understand the hostility - really I do not know why everyone is up in arms over this. I always had a problem with VEs and paps -- I never wanted to get one for some really compelling reasons...so I did some research to see if I really had to subject myself to this torture - which is not me being dramatic...or maybe it is...but that is how it feels to me. I found sooo much evidence that paps and vaginal exams were basically useless in asymptomatic women that I adopted the belief system that they are outdated and potentially harmful procedures. I find this easier to discuss than my fear of the exam it also seems to be easier for people to understand...although maybe not after reading these responses. haha
Random scenario. Baby's heartrate is unsteady and they need to see how close you are to being complete. Would you rather tell them "Sorry...stay out of my vagina!" and then have to get a c-section when you COULD be 10cm and ready to push?
Your doctor cannot tell you if your request is going to absolutely happen because he does not know. It all depends on what happens during labor!
I would just have them look. It will be a no touching zone.
"When the world says, 'Give up,' Hope whispers, 'Try one more time.'" -Anonymous
Re: Refusing Vaginal Exams
Why are you so full of hate.... go ask your Fi to play with your vagina maybe it will put you in a better mood
You have been given quite a bit of good suggestions. You are just not addressing it if the advice does not suggest another book. You can read all the books you want, but you need to find an OB or MW who is going to honor your wishes. Plain and simple.
"When the world says, 'Give up,' Hope whispers, 'Try one more time.'" -Anonymous
Then why are you asking us if they will hold your epidural if you are saying you know all these answers. Its just like you are wasting your own time to even post this. Every hospital is different, every hospital has different procedures for things. So ask your OB or MW or L&D deck.
Perhaps you should ask the several women that you said you know who have gone through it? They would likely know the answers to your questions.
BFP#1-02/21/11 Missed M/C Twins-03/25/11 EDD-11/04/11
BFP#2-10dpo- 05/27/11 EDD 02/03/12
Our miracle Aidan James born 01/25/12!!
Now all of that was just completely unhelpful and not what she actually asked. Don't you get the point of these boards? Really! We are only here to give validation and support to something we have stated is not something we can help her answer. None of us have been around here very long, so we need to start taking notes.
**Sorry for your loss**
"When the world says, 'Give up,' Hope whispers, 'Try one more time.'" -Anonymous
Not trying to play Captain Obvious here, but all you can get on this board is opinion...or opinion-esque in nature when it comes to a medically related question such as the original one you posed. Even if ONE person were to say they were able to pop into a hospital, get an epi before they could feel an ounce of pain, and never have a VE---well, that's one person, and it wouldn't be the same situation for you, probably because doctors are different, hospital regulations are different, and...the people in question are different.
1. Maybe you need to get over your vagina-shyness?
2. Just because SOME women were able to feel the urge to push with an epidural does not necessarily mean that YOU will feel it to. Everybody's labor/birth experience is different.
3. If you want to know if your hospital/dr. will withhold an epidural, ASK THEM. You are over halfway through your pregnancy, why haven't you brought it up already?
ETA: the epidural in #2
If it seriously impeded them from safely giving me an epidural in their professional opinion...and didn't just make them work a little harder to assess where I am at then of course Ill allow it to be done.but if it is just easier, quicker, and procedure then I am not all for it as it causes a great amount of distress and pain for me which we all know is not good for a laboring woman and child. I would have to be truly convinced that they were worried about giving me medication because they truly could not figure out what point I was at. I am just trying to figure out if it is unnecessary in the way that I've found pelvic exams and paps to be. I am glad you are okay with getting paps and VEs done...truly wish I could be okay with it too but I am not and can't be so please do not tell me to be okay with something just because I chose to indulge in the incredibly human act of making love to my fiancee.
Um- perhaps you should have spent more time figuring out what this website is about- we are here to share our opinions. Heaven forbid some of us have a different viewpoint and try to explain it. It's what we do!
This is the issue?? okay first of all...did you think giving birth would be SUNSHINE and EFFING ROSES?! Its going to hurt, and you will probably tear, and you will have all sorts pains and shiz. and THIS is they reason you don't want it...
did you think the kid would walk out on her own?! You will be in pain. I think the LAST thing you will care about is some doctor sticking his hand anywhere NEAR your Vagina, honey.
Still trying to get over the "don't want 'unnecessary' vaginal exam but want the epi as soon as I can get my paws on it" reasoning, but here goes...
As many of the PPs have said, this sounds like a question for your practitioner and your hospital... but YES, just as you have the right to refuse medical procedures, your practitioner/hospital has the right to refuse the administration of drugs if you choose not to comply with their policies related to those drugs. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Or maybe "you can't have your pristine vagina and your epi too" would be more appropriate.
If just getting over it before the baby comes was an option, id gladly take it. haha
I have asked 2 doctors and I moved to a different state so I am looking for one here now...the first one told me we would wait and see what I need at the time. That didn't really answer my question and seemed to be their answer to everything so I switched doctors and the 2nd one told me that she doesn't see a problem with giving me an epidural without checking me if I am having strong contractions however the hospital has policies etc. So that is kind of vague as well. I will be asking my new doctor asap but I thought I could get some valuable input from women who may feel this way or knows someone who does or whatever. I also flat out say in my OP that I may not feel the urge to push...so yes, I know this.
I wish I could find a Hiipie doctor! haha I never meant to sound like I was above you...thats weird that you would get that. I am dysfunctional in this area and trying to cope is that not obvious? Clearly it is better to not have vagina issues.
Penelope Lynn 5.8.2009
Harrison Peter 4.10.2012
Check out the blog at balletandbaseball.com
Ok- now this seems to be different from what you originally said. Now you're saying you wish you could be ok with it but it causes a great deal of distress and pain. Before you seemed to be saying it just wasn't necessary.
No one is going to tell you that these exams are pleasant, but you do get used to them. I don't think anyone looks forward to their annual exam. I know the first time I had to have an internal ultrasound to check my cervix,even after annual paps for the last 10 years, I was nervous. But doctors are only doing these things for your own good. They are professionals, and they usually will also have another person in the room. If you share your fear/ concerns with them, I bet they will do everything they can to put you at ease. (Talk you through it, let you know what they're doing and why). By the way, these checks- internal ultrasounds, paps, whatever, are over before you know it. Literally like 2 minutes.
Love it.
I have never heard of this blue line business, but if it were true, don't you think that's what the doctors would use? It's much easier to look at someone's back than to glove up, lube up, and stick your hand up someone's vagina.
We are not turkeys. It's not like we get blue lines up our backs and then our noses light up red when we're complete and ready to push.
I'm pretty sure this only happen in Cylons.
I actually didn't get a chance to read all - but surly less than half have given valuable input. In any case thanks for validating my hysterics claim...sounds like you are the over emotional one.
TBH, there's probably a really good reason both responses you've gotten from medical professionals have been vague. No one knows what's going to happen to you when you go into labor. It could be good, it could be bad. No doctor is going to tell you they will or will not do something that can't be guaranteed. Their responses make total sense, and I'm not sure what else you could really hope for. Birth/labor is not an exact science...you can't get guarentees with it.
::giggle:: Best response of the day!
You are probably going to differ with most people on this board. Your OPINION is that paps and pelvic exams are unnecessary - when most of the modern world would say otherwise. Likewise, it may be hard for you to find a doctor nowadays who will find checking the position of your baby and your dilation and effacement "unnecessary" if you are wanting an epidural.
Like PPs have said, ask the people who will be giving you the epi. They can give you facts. They'll tell you their procedures. On here, we're giving you our opinions based on the ridiculous information you've given us and what we know from our own experiences.
You just completely debunked a legitimate way of seeing how far dilated a woman is based on the fact that we are not Turkeys. haha. some Midwives use this technique it is real...I just don't know how reliable it is or if every women gets it etc. There is now a blood test to test for cervical cancer that is more accurate than pap smears yet it is not being offered to women...so I don't have a ton of faith in doctors doing what is best over what is easiest for them/what has always been done.
Yes, because the vaginal check is going to be the worse part of labor. You need to ask your freaking doctor what their policy is, not a bunch of internet strangers.
It could totally be that. However, I got the feeling it was more like "im not promising anything because I am going to treat you in the same methodic fashion i treat all my patients and hope that you will be so preoccupied you wont notice." I am asking for special treatment, to go against what these doctors would normally do...I know this...and all I am asking is if in any circumstance, even it its just the best case scenario, will I be able to have this go down how I want it to? Is it at all possible or likely? and a simple "we will see" just isn't cutting it for me.
So a ordering a blood test isn't easier than having a woman disrobe, lay on her back, get the speculum, lube it up, place it in, perform several swabs on the cervix inside her body, remove the speculum, lube up gloved hands and perform a pelvic exam? You're right - doctors do what's easier...and they've never ordered bloodwork before. Clearly, since a PAP is what has "always" been done and is easier, that's the way to go. To hell with the simple blood draw.
I'm done with this. This HAS TO be MUD.
You know what, yes, today I MAY be over emotional, but DO NOT come on to our board, make this an INTRODUCTION post and then post something that isn't even related to an introduction...its not even something any of us can help you with...CLEARLY, and if you had taken the advice given and gone to the right board, all this drama would have not happened, but since you feel the need to call me out on my emotions, i will call you out on your post and comment.
I am seriously SICK of your snide remarks to the people that are "bashing" you...which most are not, the ones that are, well they clearly feel the same way I do, and if this annoys you so much, then move along to one of your many "shortcuts" maybe they will help you, especially the C-Section one, oh or idk maybe the 0-6, or 6-12 month boards. You clearly have no IDEA what this place is about, so before you post something next time, think about it and post it on the board that best fits that POST. Then you will skip all of this so called "unwanted" drama. Get off our board, if you have nothing better to do than be like this. i'm over it!!
What makes you so sure this isn't going to happen to you too?
I highly doubt any medical professional would back you. No they will not do an epidural with out checking you. It hospital POLICY. And no there is really no way to tell if you're complete unless they check you. Some women have the urge and are only 2 cm. Pushing without being complete is dangerous. Not to mention makes the cervix swell. And I'm not even going to start about the pap smear thing....
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Missed MC 11/17/10 Our little miracle born 1/27/12 Natural MC 7/19/12 Missed MC 1/22/13 Our family is complete DD 12/27/13
Abnormal ANA, PAI-1 4G/4G homozygous
Yes I would like to hear about this too and please cite your resources for me. My mother who died of cervical cancer would have loved a blood test as opposed to every single thing she went through just to diagnose her.
None of it was simple or easy on the Drs or my mother. So please share.
I don't understand the hostility - really I do not know why everyone is up in arms over this. I always had a problem with VEs and paps -- I never wanted to get one for some really compelling reasons...so I did some research to see if I really had to subject myself to this torture - which is not me being dramatic...or maybe it is...but that is how it feels to me. I found sooo much evidence that paps and vaginal exams were basically useless in asymptomatic women that I adopted the belief system that they are outdated and potentially harmful procedures. I find this easier to discuss than my fear of the exam it also seems to be easier for people to understand...although maybe not after reading these responses. haha
I would just have them look. It will be a no touching zone.
"When the world says, 'Give up,' Hope whispers, 'Try one more time.'" -Anonymous