Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

1st day back at work & a slap in the face

Today was my 1st day back since finding out last week that I had a missed m/c.

One of the first things I did when I arrived was talk to my boss and explain what happened...and I must admit I had a little melt-down in the process. But she was really understanding and told me I could take as much time as I needed, even to escape the office and hide out in a meeting room for a breather. I managed to stop the tears and we headed back to our office...where lo and behold my coworker was in the midst of announcing her own pregnancy to my other coworkers! I felt the wind go out of me...but I put on my happy face and walked over to her and gave her a hug. I think it was just the grace of God that allowed me to remain my composure.

She's due June 7th...I was supposed to be due June 10th. I really AM happy for her as I know they had been trying for over a year, but my heart still ached with jealousy. It was just bad timing, you know? I hope this doesn't make me a horrible person :( I feel awful...

BFP #1 MM/C discovered at 8w2d, loss 11/18/11
I'll hold you in my heart until I hold you in heaven
BFP #2 7/7/12, EDD 3/14/13, stick baby stick!
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Re: 1st day back at work & a slap in the face

  • I am sorry for your loss and you aren't a horrible person.  The fact that you were able to hold it together and give her a hug is awesome. 

    Missed m/c discovered 11.30.09 at 9w2d DS Born 10.26.10 Missed m/c discovered 11.7.11 at 8w3d Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • I'm so sorry. That is a hard situation. I'm impressed you could keep it together for her. That took great strength! You are not a horrible person at all. 
    August 2015 Siggy Challenge: Holiday Fail

    *BFP #1 9/10/11 Natural m/c 11/1/11 at 11 weeks, 5 days*
    *Diagnosed as unexplained infertility*
    *BFP #2 12/6/14 after IUI#2 Hopeful! EDD 8/14/15*

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  • Oh NO. I wouldn't have been able to hug her. You are an amazing person. I'm sorry this happened.
  • Ugh, I cannot imagine. You are NOT an awful person. It's a very normal emotion. I still have extreme jealousy issues that I'm constantly struggling with. Your feelings are normal. I'm terribly sorry that you had to here it all. If this is someone you are close to I would pull her aside or email her and let her know. She might be more sympathetic than you think and tone down the pregnancy talk around you.

    My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

    Betas: 9dp5dt: 64 ~14dp5dt: 91 (expecting miscarriage, doubling time of 236 hours) ~16dp5dt: 200~18dp5dt: 500

    First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat

    Laura Kate arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!

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  • It doesn't make you a horrible person.  I'm so sorry you had to go through that.  **Hugs**
  • No you are not a a horrible person.  I had a friend announce that she is pregnant and all I want to do is cry, I haven't even said congratulations to her yet, so obviously you are stronger about this than I am right now.
  • That sucks.  Good for you for keeping it together.  I would've stormed out.  Buuuuuut I have been known to throw a tantrum every once in a while ...
    Married since 7/25/2009
    BFP #1 9/25/2011 | EDD 6/1/2012 | M/C 10/26/2011 at 8w6d
    BFP #2 3/13/2012 | EDD 11/23/2012
    9DPO hcg: 45; Prog: 41 | 14DPO hcg: 694 | 17DPO hcg: 2733 | 28DPO hcg: 53,006
    First u/s 4/13 showed a beating heart! Second u/s 5/2 showed a HB of 163! Let's GROW, baby!
    He's here! Kellen born 11/16/12 - 8 lbs 8 oz 22 inches long via scheduled c-section (breech baby, gestational diabetes mama)
  • That's a pretty common reaction after an m/c...it is very challenging to be purely happy for someone who is newly pregnant.  It's a mix of jealousy, anger, happiness, etc.  I have been through my share of that, unfortunately.  That sucks that someone announced the day you got back...what are the chances of that?  So sorry, and hope your week gets better!
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  • I can understand where your coming from.  My SIL is pregnant and announced her pregnancy the same week we found out we lost ours.  We were due days apart from each other.

     She has been very supportive and understands our heartache.  As I understand she is still going to have her baby.

    It's going to hurt a lot, I am just hoping I can be pregnant before her LO is due. 

                                                 Mom to 4 wonderful daughters
                                 Breanna, Ellie and 
                                 our 2 rainbow babies.

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  • Hello sorry for your loss, I had a m/c at 12 weeks and there is two co-workers prego here and i feel sad/mad and happy, its hard to explain nothing bad to them im just sad because i was prego also , mad because i wanted to be pregnant and happy for them! this is so confussing! and i just found out my sister-in-law is pregnant! hang in there and you are not a horrible person!
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