Military Families

Overbearing grandma to be

Hello everyone. My husband and I recently told our parents about the bean in our belly and we were a little freaked out by my mother's reaction. She immediately started crying so hard we thought she was going to start hyperventilating and she yelled to her friend, "We're pregnant! We're pregnant!" Ever since then she's been a bit overwhelming to us, constantly texting me asking me what I've eaten for the day and saying that's not good for the baby even though I know what I'm doing, and again tonight she said "WE'RE pregnant." Now don't get me wrong, we're so happy she's so excited but does anyone else find it a little weird that she keeps saying that? She's a very emotional person so I don't want to confront her about it because it would make us feel weird and would hurt her feelings and she'd probably ignore me after that and make me feel bad. At first we were thinking we wanted her at the hospital with us for the birth (We live across the country from all the parents) but after her reaction we are a little freaked out about how it would be if she were to come and now we're rethinking it. What would you do? Would you just ignore it?

Re: Overbearing grandma to be

  • Set boundries now. If you don't it will just continue after the baby comes. 

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  • Luckily I'm the very last woman in my family to have a baby, so the excitment level for my side of the family is next to nothing, lol. First in my husbands family, but me being the "in law" they aren't so over bearing so I can't give advice from experince, but what I would do is just in a really nice way tell my mom I'm so glad shes so excited, but in this time you yourself are feeling a little overwhelmed and your homones are making you a little crazy in this time, and you just need a little space. If you still think that will make her upset or have hurt feelings, I'd just ignore the annoying things and acknowledge the behavior you're okay with. As far as her coming for the birth, I think it'd be a really great thing for her to be able to experince as a grandmother, but I would deffinitelty set some ground rules. Hope the best for you! Moms can be a little crazy sometimes! Lol.

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  • Hi there!  I agree with a previous statement about that you need to set some boundaries but at the same time embrace that she is excited.  There are some grand parents to be that don't make any fuss at all and it's kinda heartbreaking.  Reassure her that your Doctor has told you that everything you are doing is fine and while you appreciate her concern, she is being a little overwhelming for you and the added stress on you isn't what you want for the baby.  Remind her that you love her and appreciate that she is excited, but that you need a little space from every day contact to just have some time for yourself.  Grandparents are wonderful and you'll want them to be super involved when the little one comes along.  But during pregnancy, you should be trying to relax as much as possible.  If she doesn't understand, then I'm really sorry for her.  But stand firm, gentle but kind. You can always agree to send a weekly email to her to keep her updated if nothing else works and include pictures of the baby bump.  She may be upset in the beginning and think you are shunning her, but after a while, if she wants to stay involved, then she will come around and I think you'll have a better relationship for it.  Everyone says honesty is always the best policy no matter how it hurts in the beginning.  Good luck to you!
  • image lisa&andy:

    Set boundries now. If you don't it will just continue after the baby comes. 

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  • image lisa&andy:

    Set boundries now. If you don't it will just continue after the baby comes. 



    I def. agree with this.  At first my MIL just acted odd with it all. Not that excited, but just odd.  Pretty much would call me and TELL me where she was going to be and waht she was going to be doing with our child.  Telling me that after he/she was born she'd come and take care of the baby so I could clean.. ( hahaha no) Just for a few weeks we left it alone and she got worse, so finally one of us said something and told her.. " we are sorry but you will not be in the room holding my leg up, you can look up how many people are allowed in a military hospital's delivery room as much as you like, but you will not be in the state until we are ready" lol.  She didnt talk to us for a bit but now it's all understood and fine, and i'm relieved.   Good luck!!
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