2nd Trimester

Grandma not excited

My mom is usually a total baby person! she has been saying she wants to be a grandma for a long time (I have older siblings) but I am the first to get married and get pregnant- but I am not sure how to get my mom excited- any suggestions?




Thanks so much- your advice to giver her time and include her really made a huge difference- she even told me she just felt left out of the process. I'm so glad it all worked out!!

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Re: Grandma not excited

  • Take some people longer than others, I dont think my mom started to come around till 22 weeks or so... I would recomend just talking about baby a little bit more, maybe even get her to goooo baby stuff shopping with you.
  • Some people are pretty old school and are nervous about celebrating when the baby is not there yet.  I would say give her some time and I'm sure the excitement will come.

    Once she starts referring to the baby as "my baby" you'll start rolling your eyes.

    BabyFetus Ticker
  • I agree with pp.  It takes some people longer to come around.  I also agree that getting her more involved like taking her shopping or asking her about nursery ideas.  Maybe even buying some things and bringing them to her house to show her, she may feed off of your excitement.  

    My mom was super excited from the beginning but it got way worse when I told her she would need to have baby supplies at her house like a high chair and a play pen as well as clothes and bottles and stuff.  She's already started stocking up on those items.

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  • How do you know she is not excited?  

    Don't forget- no one is going to be as excited about your pregnancy and you are.   

    Lilypie - (ZESJ)Lilypie - (QAi1)

  • I definitely get where you're coming from.  When I was pregnant with my first (and the first grandchild for my parents) my mom made a point several times to say that she wasn't going to be the kind of grandma that was obsessed with her grandchild, she'd already raised her kids, she wanted to enjoy her retirement without being tied to kids, etc.  It kind of hurt me that she didn't seem happy or excited, and didn't want to be very involved.

    All that changed (literally) the minute my daughter was born.  My mom was in the delivery room with us and was obsessed with her as soon as she saw her.  She now watches her two days a week and my daughter loves her.  I think sometimes you just have to hold the baby in your arms to really connect and feel the love.

    If you and your husband are comfortable with it, you could invite her to be in the delivery room to experience that moment.

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  • It took my MIL a few weeks to get used to the idea but she came around in a HUGE way.  Maybe some day you and your mom both have off you can grab lunch and hit up the baby department of a store and look at clothes or toys or something like that.  My mom and I do that all the time and it's fun.

  • I'm sure she's excited. My mom doesn't really "show" her excitement well, at all. But after my son was born, she was over the moon and still is. She'll show you in her own way :)
    image Nolan 9/23/2009

  • My mom wasn't excited for our baby either.  We were married, college graduates, home owners, over 30, credit card free- I was like, mom what more do you want us to wait for? After baby was born she came around. She was nervous when LO was tiny, but now is totally smitten and spoils LO rotten! Gl
  • I recommend either taking her baby shopping or showing her some of your baby stuff.  The cuter the better.

     My mom wasn't excited at first, and for the first couple of months never passed up the chance to tell me all about her lack of excitement.  It hurt a lot.  Once I started showing and she some baby clothes and the nursery coming together, she started to get more excited.  She still says she doesn't think she'll see LO very often, which is odd because she lives 20 minutes away and is always pushing for DH and I to spend more time with her.  I think she'll come around, but if she doesn't, it's her loss.

    Managing tree nut (me), peanut & egg (DS) allergies.

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  • My mom lives out of town so it's been kind of hard to gauge her excitement... She came to visit this weekend and I scheduled an appointment at a 3D ultrasound place for a mini session to hear the heartbeat and see fetal movement with her and my husband... She loved it! It really got her involved in the pregnancy in a way that was tangible... Maybe you could try that?
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