Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Could this possibly be my fault?

My DD is not walking independently yet.  She is 17 months old.  I have gotten her evaluated by EI and she does not qualify for services and they do not believe she has a problem.  She was never a crawler and scooted on her hiney to get around.  They feel its more of a security issue and when she's ready she'll walk.  She climbs all over the furniture, does stairs, and walks holding my fingers.  Anyway, I am on top of this and try to continue to feel positive, that she will walk shortly.  So over the past two weeks two family have told me its my fault that she is not walking on her own yet.  When I asked how this could possibly be my fault, they responded that its because I pick her up when she asks!!!  I got pissed, but then I felt horrible because could I have seriously done this?
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Re: Could this possibly be my fault?

  • No, this is not your fault.  I hate when my family members want to put their two cents in to why or why not DS is doing something.  So aggravating.  What on earth could possibly have done to make this your fault?

    If they think it's a confidence issue and EI is not concerned, just give her a little more time.  :)  My sister didn't walk until about 17 months also, but my mom says that was my fault, cause I brought her everything!!  Good luck!

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  • No, its not your fault, all babies walk at different ages. I would not worry if the doc is not worried.

    I would try to encourage her to walk. Place her back and the back of her heels on a wall (she will feel secure) then with your arms open and very close to her, encourage her to come to you. Continue to do this until she takes a step (may take several times or sessions). Then once she takes that first step then slowly move back so she can take more steps. This is what I did with my dd.

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  • Nope, not your fault :) I hate nosey non-educated family members. LO will walk when LO is ready. My daughter refused to really walk for awhile b/c she was scared of falling on the hardwood floors. We got lots of "walk with" toys so she could hold onto those and walk and build her confidence up. It worked shortly after. She enver crawled on her knees/hands either. She was a feet, hand, butt in the air crawler b/c the hardwood hurt her knees. Hang in there mama :)
  • IGNORE THEM!!! My DD didn't walk until the day that she turned 17 months. She didn't crawl til 13 months because she just preferred to roll everywhere (really funny looking back on it now). I did not carry DD around a lot. She was always a pretty independent baby. The only things we did to promote walking was give her a walking toy and once she started cruising we would encourage her to come to us (while sitting about 3 steps away).

    DD is now a VERY active toddler that RUNS everywhere. She is also ahead of the charts on a lot of skills like her vocabulary.

  • What everyone else said.  Tell your family to shove it!  The doctor isn't worried, and if it's a security thing that's preventing her to walk, I don't see how not picking her up when asked will help her.  If you think about it, walking is scary!  You have to be able to balance, coordinate all these different body parts at once, keep everything centered, and it's not so easy when you have this big, heavy head up top! Lol.  She's just cautious, and there's nothing wrong with that.
  • No it's not your fault. If ir's just a matter of her needing to hold your hand tell them what I told my FIL, from 2-9 you'll be trying to make her hold your hand why fight her on not holding your hand now. Eventually DD got brave enough to walk without holding my hand, it just can take some time for them to gain that confidence.

    If E.I isn't concerned I wouldn't be either.  

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  • I can't believe people would say that to a mother! How effing rude! 

    Give her time, she'll walk when she's good and ready. 

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  • No way, we carried DS constantly - he never wanted to be put down - and he is walking so it didn't cause him not to walk.  It is not your fault.
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  • I'd say don't talk to those people again about your concerns.  Even if they thought that, it's very rude of them to say it to you.  I would just say help you LO practice.  You said she'll walk holding you hand.  Get her on soft surfaces and do that, then make her let go and see that falling is ok and she can get up on her own.

  • We have the same child :). DD will be 17here months on the 13th and is not walking either. She scooted on her butt until 14th months and then finally began crawling. She will walk behind push toys, climb the stairsin and playground equiptment, walk holding my finger, along furniture, and will take a few wobbly steps unassisted occasionally. Our doctor is not currently concerned and said we will re-evaluate at 18the months. When I met with the PT at my school last year about my way concerns with her being behind in her gross motor development she said one if the most important things is that she is making progress. So I have tried to keep that in mind when I start to feel like I have done something wrong. Sorry for any typos I am using my phone to respond
  • Ah jeez, ignore your family!

    My first son didn't really start talking until he was 2.5 or so. The Xmas he was about to turn 2, we were visiting my in-laws, and his cousin who's a few months younger (so she was like 18 months or so), was saying a lot more than he was. My MIL actually told me the reason his cousin was talking was because she went to day care and was around more kids than my son. Which is totally not something that effects how soon a kid talks, but still managed to make me sort of feel like crap. Sigh. So yeah, people have no idea what they're talking about when it comes to development!

    Babies and kids do things at their own pace. Our culture is really hyper-aware of milestones and when they're achieved. Hang in there!

    DS1 - Feb 2008

    DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)

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