I am just going to start out by saying that you all seem so supportive of the others in this room. I haven't told this to anyone so far because it's really hard to admit. I lost my Mom January 20th 2010, very unexpectedly. I found out I was pregnant in August and am very happy about it. I am missing her so much now and have thought about her so much more lately then I was. I felt like I was beginning to heal, but now, knowing that my child will never get to know her...it's awful. She was my best friend other than my husband. I just never imagined that I would be doing this without her here. I haven't done anything for the nursery, as a matter of fact I find that hard to do because I want her opinion and I can't have it.
Then there is my mother in law. Who is a great lady, but the polar opposite of my Mom. She is SOOOO excited and has her very blatant ideas of how DH and I should do things. I try to very nicely tell her that we have our own ways, but she pushes and she pushes and she pushes. To top it off she lives next door and so I can't just get away for a while. I find myself comparing her every move to my Mom's and getting angry with her because she's not like my Mom. This isn't fair on my part because she only wants to help and be the excited first time grandmother that she deserves to be.
I miss her so much sometimes. I never saw her being gone coming & I never guessed I'd be doing this without her. I have't told DH about how much his mom has been bothering me, because I keep hoping when the hormones aren't raging so much I will calm down. I just needed to vent because I'm not telling this to anyone. I am doing so much remembering about my Mom lately and think frequently about what a wonderful grandma she would've been. I think about how much fun my kids would have had with her and how much they are going to miss out on because she isn't here.
Sorry this is so long.