This isn't meant to be rant-y or complain-y, I really need to know. I guess I missed a memo somewhere, or my in-laws are just.... unique. I need to know which.
I got chewed out by my husband the other night because I "hate" his mother. I like his mom. I do, I really do. But according to him, not only do I hate her, but I'm "killing her". Exact words. Here's the situation, the other night LO fell asleep at his usual time and hubby and I went to take a shower. Usual routine. Well, for some reason, MIL decided to go into our room and take out the baby. No questions asked, no "Hey, I've got the kid", nothing. So first, that's a breech of personal boundaries. I wouldn't ever walk into someone's room without permission. Second, I WOULD NEVER TOUCH SOMEONE'S KID WITHOUT ASKING THE MOTHER OR FATHER. "Related" or not. So naturally, I got upset. But I kindly asked her to not take the baby without asking permission first. I mean, hell, it's not like we were miles away and inaccessible, we were in the shower 5 feet away. She could have asked. I feel she should have asked. Hubby feels I hate his mother and I'm killing her... So, what did I do wrong here? Should I just be okay with someone I don't know very well entering my personal space and just walking off with my kid? I know she's related by law, but I'm not comfortable with anyone taking LO and not telling me about it. H.ell, I wouldn't let blood family do that (but, knowing them, they wouldn't...).
Second situation. SIL walked up to me at a party while I was holding LO, and literally tried to take him out of my arms. No, "Hey, can I hold him?" or even a gesture of "I'd like to hold him", no, just straight up tried to pull him out of my arms... Not only that, but she told me to "give him up". I honestly kinda wanted to stab her, but I just said, quite plainly "No." and moved away. Then she got pissy when I let a friend hold him. The friend asked if there was anything she could do to help me pack up to leave, and I asked her if she'd hold the baby real quick. SIL was in the other room, but got all kinds of pissed about it anyway.
WTF?? Can't people just ASK? Or am I nutty for thinking that they should be polite? Any advice on ways to handle this?