I was bent on natural labor and i was so close. and it was so much easier than i thought then suddenly, I got this godawful csection, totally out of left field. after an easy 4 hours of dilating to 10, i was told 15 min or so into pushing that "We have to do a csection" (found out after the fact baby wasn't even in distress, just a mild dip in heartrate-so on top of it all it was unneccesary). I am still so angry and bitter. my doctor had time to cath me, she had to try 3 times as his head was already pretty low. no time to let me push but 3 times to rape my urethra with that stupid catheter which hurt worse than the goddamn labor. having no epidural, i was totally knocked out for his birth. my husband wasn't allowed in the ER since "there was just no time" which i feel is a cop-out. csections are always fast. no time to let my husband in??? I just want someone to talk to who's maybe had a similar experience I'm so tired of feeling alone. i have a sister in law who says "oh i understand but you'll get over it" she doesnt even come close to understanding-she had an epidural, got to hold her baby after he was born. Not being awake...not getting to see him born or hear his first cry and not even my husband can tell me secondhand because he wasn't allowed in. i was so drugged i dont even remember seeing him the first time. and my recovery was a massacre, involving CT scans and blood transfusions. i just feel like it was all ripped away from me without any good reason and im tired of having flashbacks and panic attacks. please someone anyone who's attempted natural birth and got all the way up to pushing then got knocked out please talk to me i really need a friend right now.