Stay at Home Moms

Another loss-long

Hi Ladies,

I post here semi-regularly and am sad to say that this past week I suffered my second pregnancy loss. We will be taking the next 2-3 cycles off from TTC so that we can heal emotionally, and I can heal physically. With my last loss I turned to TTCAL and while I will still post there, I feel like posting on that board causes me to obsess about my fertility more than I already do. I have decided to take as positive a spin on this as possible and use this time to refocus on being the best mother possible to my DS and accomplish some of the things around my house that I have been meaning to do. I hope to be a more active member of this board as well. My first loss was a regular miscarriage, this time it was a blighted ovum so it seems like they are unrelated and we were just really unlucky. If anyone has any success after a loss (especially multiple losses) experience that they would share, words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading this.

Katy

BFP#1 7/09 DS born 3/30/10 BFP#2 5/11 M/C 6/11 BFP#3 9/11 M/C 10/11 BFP #4 5/20/12 Pregnancy Ticker

Re: Another loss-long

  • So sorry, sweetie!  Hope things look up for you soon!
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  • I had a textbook pregnancy with my first, then a miscarriage at 9 wks, a missed miscarriage at 17 wks, and then a healthy baby boy two months ago. My first loss sucked, but my second one sent me into a tail spin and it took me over a year to be able to deal with everything enough that I felt ready to TTC again. I'm sorry you have to deal with recurrent loss...I know how much it sucks!

    Even if you feel like the losses are unrelated, I suggest having your OB do an extensive panel workup on you. There are a lot of underlying issues that could be keeping you from having a successful pregnancy, or it really could be nothing. By doing the panel, you may be able to find out and address the issues.

    I had a terrible OB with my first three pregnancies and feel that her inadequate testing prolonged my grieving period because I was so afraid that I wouldn't EVER be able to have another successful pregnancy. Had I known that I had some slight hormonal issues as well as the mutation of the MTHFR gene (it blocks your body from absorbing folic acid and affects the way your blood clots), I feel like I would have been more confident about TTC again.

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  • I'm so sorry to hear this.  You can always post here for support.  Take care of yourself and your LO!

    In terms of your losses, and I'm no expert, but I think it's good that you already have one LO.  Plus, even though these losses are painful, you CAN get pregnant.  Hopefully, when you and your H decided to try again, the third time will be the charm.

    (hugs) 

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  • So, so sorry to hear about your losses.  I admire your plan to turn your TTC break into a positive and productive time for your family.  But don't forget to nurture yourself as well.

    Best wishes that you have happy news to report next year!

  • I'm so sorry for your losses. I hope you are able to heal physically and emotionally soon.
  • So sorry for your loss :(
    Cat
    Married since 2003
    Mom to 2 daughters, ages 7 & 5
  • ::Lurker here::

    I'm so sorry for your losses.  I know how you must be feeling.  I've had two miscarriages, but am currently 34w3d pregnant (after two losses, I'm very nervous to start saying I'm a 'success' before I actually have a take home baby, but I'm certainly close to falling into that category).

    My first loss really affected me, as well as DH.  I had an ultrasound around 6 weeks, and everything seemed fine--saw the heartbeat and everything!  Then we went in for the 12 week appointment, with no signs of anything being wrong, and the doctor couldn't find the heartbeat.  It was so unexpected; we were completely devastated.  I had a D&C a day or two later.

    After that it took us about a year to conceive again.  At around 7 weeks, I started bleeding.  That one passed naturally.  To us, this one was a litlte easier to handle (though certainly not EASY), because it was earlier, and because we knew after the first that this could happen.  With the first, we knew it could happen, but never actually expected it to happen to us.

    About 4 or 5 months after the second loss, we got pregnant again.  We were very hesitant to get too excited too soon, but lo and behold, here I am at 34w 3d!  We were so afraid that we might NEVER be able to have a baby.  Keep in mind that you have already had a successful pregnancy, so it can happen, and odds are very, very high that it will happen again.  It boggles my mind that miscarriages are so common, yet so seldom talked about.  When it happens, you feel like you're the only one.  It's something like 1 in 5 pregnancies though!  You and I both had a couple of unlucky rolls of the dice, but there is still so much hope ahead!  Smile

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  • So sorry for your loss. Wishing you a healthy recovery - physically and emotionally. 
    DD1: Maya 05/10
    DD2: Lucia (Lucy) 07/13
  • I'm so sorry for your losses.
    Lilypie - (vU6X)   Ticker id: uw9O   Ticker id: sH5t
  • I'm so sorry for your losses.  I've had 2 miscarriages too.  It's terrible, but miscarriages are more common than we think.  I have fertility issues, so it wasn't easy for me to get pregnant with this baby, but it happened!  It's always good to know that you are able to get pregnant.  I hope you will have a healthy baby soon...

    m/c - Dec 2005, DS - March 27, 2007, m/c - Oct 2009, DD - Feb 20, 2012

    Proud mother of two breech babies:)

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  • I'm so sorry for your losses.

     

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  • I'm so sorry you are going through this.  Take good care of yourself and your family and take the time you need to heal.
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  • I'm so sorry for your losses. It sounds like you are trying to deal with this as positively as you can, which I am trying to do as well after my 5th loss (mine are related). It sounds like these two losses are not related, and the fact that you already have a LO shows it can happen again. Hang in there. I know how you feel.
    5 losses and several failed cycles
    2 miracles
    J born 4/19/10
    A born 5/16/13
  • Thank you all for your responses. I am grateful for your support.
    BFP#1 7/09 DS born 3/30/10 BFP#2 5/11 M/C 6/11 BFP#3 9/11 M/C 10/11 BFP #4 5/20/12 Pregnancy Ticker
  • image ktsnshn:

    Hi Ladies,

    I post here semi-regularly and am sad to say that this past week I suffered my second pregnancy loss. We will be taking the next 2-3 cycles off from TTC so that we can heal emotionally, and I can heal physically. With my last loss I turned to TTCAL and while I will still post there, I feel like posting on that board causes me to obsess about my fertility more than I already do. I have decided to take as positive a spin on this as possible and use this time to refocus on being the best mother possible to my DS and accomplish some of the things around my house that I have been meaning to do. I hope to be a more active member of this board as well. My first loss was a regular miscarriage, this time it was a blighted ovum so it seems like they are unrelated and we were just really unlucky. If anyone has any success after a loss (especially multiple losses) experience that they would share, words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading this.

    Katy

     

    I am very sorry for your loss.  It is wonderful that you are focusing on the positive and being there for DS.  I felt like I should respond to your post.  I, too, was diagnosed with a blighted ovum last year.  My husband and I had been TTC for over a year.  We got married on June 27, 2010 and on June 28th I took a HPT.  It was positive.  We couldn't believe it.  After trying all that time, we got married and then got a positive test the very next day.  It was so ironic but so amazing.  Fast forward a few weeks, we have our first prenatal appointment and attempt to hear a heartbeat.  Considering I was only about 8 or 9 weeks, it wasn't TOO much of a surprise to not be able to find a heartbeat.  My OBGYN decided to send me over to the U/S tech.  This is when the bad news came.  The tech was unable to find a heartbeat at all.  There was a gestational sac but no baby.  Our pregnancy had stopped developing at about 6/7 weeks.  We were so devastated.  I cried for weeks.  I had anxiety attacks waiting to do the D&C.  My body did not recognize that the pregnancy wasn't viable.  So I didn't miscarry naturally.  I was still suffering from horrible morning "all day" sickness.  I tortured myself researching the internet wondering if maybe it was just too early...maybe the doctors were wrong.  I went through with the D&C and let myself heal emotionally and physically.  The emotional pain was far worse than the physical pain.  I remember crying after laughing for the first time after our loss.  I felt guilty for feeling any sort of happiness.  I took me a little while but I kept my focus on trying again.  We got another positive test on Christmas Day (about 5 months later)!  I was very nervous for the entire first trimester.  Not wanting to get my hopes up.  Now I've got my rainbow baby.  I had an unexpected premature labor at 34w5d but she is so healthy and happy which makes for one happy momma.  I wish you the best of luck.  Definitely take the time to heal and to love your family.  And know that you will have another LO in your arms again.  In time.  

    ~Married my best friend 06/27/2010~ ~Miscarriage July 2010~ ~Hannah Leigh born 07/26/2011 (5 weeks early) @ 8:38am 4lbs 15oz~
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  • Hi there.

    My first PG was normal and resulted in my DD, my second PG was a miscarriage at 7 wks, my third PG was normal and resulted in my DS, my fourth PG was a miscarriage at 15 wks.

    I know how awful it is -- both with an early m/c and a later one.  I feel like there are some scars on my soul that will never completely heal and I am a changed person because of my losses.  But I also feel like I have two children waiting for us in heaven and I'm grateful they are in such good hands now. 

    Part of my healing was to name both of my losses and each one has a little box where I put my pictures of my positive PG tests, ultrasound pictures and journals I kept.  I have faith that God has a plan for our family and I look to find the positive elements of both my miscarried children's brief lives. 

    Everyone heals differently.  You just have to find your own way.  The m/c loss board was a huge comfort to me with my first loss, but just seemed to bring me down with my second.  I find that I just can't dwell on it now because I go to a very dark place and it's hard to climb back out again when I do.

    Good luck to you and I hope you find peace and hope to move on. 

    SAHM to DD1 (7), DS (5) and DD2 (1)
  • I am very sorry for your loss.
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