What to do about Christmas?!

chocopotamus

So when MIL came up a few months ago, she sprung it on me that we are going down to FL for Christmas-yay! I was piissed but I got over it...okay maybe not.

Well I just don't know what to do about gifts? I was really looking forward to having our own little first Christmas together (last year DS was only a month old and I was on drugs from surgery). I feel like I got ripped off last year.

I just don't know what to do about DS's gifts? We are going to be gone from the 18-28th, should I wait until we get back to do our own little Christmas, or should I do it before? I honestly don't even want to get a Christmas tree, b/c it'll died when we leave . I just don't know what to do about it-any suggestions besides telling MIL to suck it?

rawrandstuffx10

Can I ask why you have to go?

Other than that- I would probably do it when I got back. Get a fake tree and let LO help decorate. Atleast then it wont die, and it will be there when you get back.

I would be uuuber-piissed off if we had to go somewhere else for christmas, since this is like our "first" one. I feel like last year I got jipped too- LO was so small and didnt really get to have fun.

chocopotamus

Well we were supposed to go down during the summer but H never gave MIL a date so she picked Christmas instead. He was putting off going down b/c we didn't have anywhere to stay and we couldn't afford a hotel for that long. (MIL's house is N.A.S.T.Y.-7 dogs & 5 cats worth of nasty) The only reason I didn't go BSC on any of them is because DS hasn't gotten to meet H's grandparents, and they wouldn't be able to handle a trip up here since their health isn't so great. I definitely might pick up a small tree though-that's a great idea!

rawrandstuffx10

chocopotamus:

Well we were supposed to go down during the summer but H never gave MIL a date so she picked Christmas instead. He was putting off going down b/c we didn't have anywhere to stay and we couldn't afford a hotel for that long. (MIL's house is N.A.S.T.Y.-7 dogs & 5 cats worth of nasty) The only reason I didn't go BSC on any of them is because DS hasn't gotten to meet H's grandparents, and they wouldn't be able to handle a trip up here since their health isn't so great. I definitely might pick up a small tree though-that's a great idea!

Yeah I'm sorry- I would tell them you could make a week/weekend trip out some other time. If my MIL called and told me when I was coming to visit her I would laugh at her. Two times.

Why dont you go out for thanksgiving dinner? Maybe have a little weekend trip, since the hotel for a weekend would be less than a full week. I would not be going out there with 7 dogs and 5 cats

OP, I think you need to put your foot down on this one and not go for christmas, its obvious you dont want to anyway.

jenna3016

I would say the date would depend upon your work schedules, and other plans for the season.  If you only have one LO, then he won't know the difference. 

Off hand, I would say do it before you go - if you have time w/all the planning and packing required for a trip.  I chose "before" because some vacations aren't really relaxing, and I like to have a day or two to unwind before getting back to the normal schedule.  There's always a ton of stuff to do - get groceries, do laundry.

MarSamWhitney

I would try to switch it to Thanksgiving too.

mrsseguin

chocopotamus:

Well we were supposed to go down during the summer but H never gave MIL a date so she picked Christmas instead. He was putting off going down b/c we didn't have anywhere to stay and we couldn't afford a hotel for that long. (MIL's house is N.A.S.T.Y.-7 dogs & 5 cats worth of nasty) The only reason I didn't go BSC on any of them is because DS hasn't gotten to meet H's grandparents, and they wouldn't be able to handle a trip up here since their health isn't so great. I definitely might pick up a small tree though-that's a great idea!

I guess I just don't understand why you and your DH didn't decide what's best for your family.  I wouldn't go over Christmas.  I would tell her that time doesn't work for you and pick different dates.

1CINCYGIRL

When I was little we went out of town once for christmas break but came back late christmas eve. Parents had the neighbors put our gifts under tree so when we opened the door "santa" had been there while we were gone.  Can you just come back christmas eve?  That way everyone will be happy.

SunDrop11

I'm still not understanding why you have to go over Christmas. I know you said that you were supposed to visit over the summer but couldn't, so she picked Christmas...but why? Why does she get to pick and that be the end of it?

I agree with the PPs who are saying that you and DH need to decide what is best for your family. If you want to be at home for Christmas, then stay home and try to work with ML to figure out another time to visit.

Disneygeek77

No, just no.

Tell MIL it doesn't work that way.  She has absolutely no say in how you guys spend your vacation time and your holidays.  We couldn't afford to see our ILs this year and while they were sad, we certainly would never let  them tell us what we could and couldn't do with our time off and our free time. 

Let MIL know that Christmas is not an option, you already have plans.  Perhaps you can do something on Thanksgiving, New Years, Easter etc, but Christmas is a no go. 

Listen, you are a momma now and that means putting the family you create before the one you were born into.  Your parent's / ILs might get upset but that is ok.  THe world won't explode if they are upset with you.  Trust me, your MIL is learning a very valuable lesson in how to control, guilt trip and manipulate you guys.  If you want to put an end to this nonsense, nip it in the bud now.  Tell her no and do not discuss it.