Secondary IF

making peace with the ideal of onlly having one child

We are lucky to have a beautifull & healthy 18 month old boy. While our plan was never for him to be an only child but that might just end up being the case.  We are still pursuing treatment. Have a second opinion on Oct 24th with Dr. Schoolcraft at CCRM.  However, I am beginning to think that I might just need to find a way to be happy with what I have.  I was wondering what any of you guys out there might say to yourselves that makes you content with the ideal of having just one child?
42 yrs old. DS born 4/10/11 after 2 losses TTC # 2 for a year AMH .3. FSH 7 AFC 6 Doing a CLOMID IUI cycle

Re: making peace with the ideal of onlly having one child

  • I feel so similarly. Lately for me my IF actually has made me even more appreciative of my 3 year old son. I have been able to be more present with him and see a new level of preciousness about him.  I believe this is grace in action and a definite blessing.  I also have friends who have no children and want them so badly, so that helps to--just being grateful.  But there is nothing easy about it.  I even tell myself that it may not be meant to be, which is cheesy, but gives some comfort, even when I feel the deep pain.. I also think at times about adoption and all the love that abandoned kids need and that that may be my place some day.  

     

  • I'm no help, but I'm interested in what others might say. I'm really not ok right now with DS being an only child. We are so lucky to have DS, but I would love for him to have siblings. I really want him to grow up with siblings like DH and I did.
    5 losses and several failed cycles
    2 miracles
    J born 4/19/10
    A born 5/16/13
  • image LeahB12:
    I'm no help, but I'm interested in what others might say. I'm really not ok right now with DS being an only child. We are so lucky to have DS, but I would love for him to have siblings. I really want him to grow up with siblings like DH and I did.

     

    I'm the same way. We are NOT ok with our son not having any siblings,and I really don't think we will ever be, which is why we are pursuing adoption. But we wanted a big family, we were hoping for 5-6 kids....we never would have chosen to just have even 2 or 3. I grew up with 4 siblings and loved it and always wanted a big family, and DH only had one sister and always wished for more. I love my son more than life itself, but that just makes me want more children all the more. I wish I could say that I will ever be ok with him being an only child but I'm honestly not sure I will ever get to that point :(


    Actively TTC #2 Since November 2009

    DH- 31, low sperm count and morphology

    Me- 27, low ovarian reserve (WHAT?!)

    We are in the domestic adoption process and still TTC while we wait.

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  • image smalltownmama:

    image LeahB12:
    I'm no help, but I'm interested in what others might say. I'm really not ok right now with DS being an only child. We are so lucky to have DS, but I would love for him to have siblings. I really want him to grow up with siblings like DH and I did.

     

    I'm the same way. We are NOT ok with our son not having any siblings,and I really don't think we will ever be, which is why we are pursuing adoption. But we wanted a big family, we were hoping for 5-6 kids....we never would have chosen to just have even 2 or 3. I grew up with 4 siblings and loved it and always wanted a big family, and DH only had one sister and always wished for more. I love my son more than life itself, but that just makes me want more children all the more. I wish I could say that I will ever be ok with him being an only child but I'm honestly not sure I will ever get to that point :(

    Me too, I am NOT okay with K being an only child. In fact now that she has/is a big sister through these 2 little ones I am even more NOT okay with her being an only child. If we hit the end of this road we will likely look into adoption (again) and pray it doesn't fail (again).

    Our Girls
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    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
  • That God gave me all my blessings at once.
  • image jjepper:

    I feel so similarly. Lately for me my IF actually has made me even more appreciative of my 3 year old son. I have been able to be more present with him and see a new level of preciousness about him.  I believe this is grace in action and a definite blessing.  I also have friends who have no children and want them so badly, so that helps to--just being grateful.  But there is nothing easy about it.  I even tell myself that it may not be meant to be, which is cheesy, but gives some comfort, even when I feel the deep pain.. I also think at times about adoption and all the love that abandoned kids need and that that may be my place some day.  

     

    This is how I feel too. It's still a work in progress for me though.
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