School-Aged Children

:( My 6yr old is jealous :(

I am due Dec 5th with my 3rd, (I have 2 girls and now expecting my ;) boy) and my 6yr old daughter has been so helpfull and sweet. She was loving the thought of being a big sissy. So much that when I get onto her for something she shouldnt have done, lol she tells me "ok mommy I dont want to upset you, Im sorry" and she wont let me do certain things that she feels might hurt the baby. She did the sweetest thing...I was still 4 months along and she found a green toy car like the hotwheels... and she has kept it for her baby brother Noah <3

Well last night we all went to Buy Buy Baby to look around and with so many things... I mean baby stuff galore!!! (I have never been in there till last night) So as we were looking everywhere I guess maybe too many oohs and aahs she started to get teary eyed and said to me "you only care about Noah"  ugh it broke my heart Broken Heart  

I have been through this already with my oldest, she was 12 when I had my 6yr old, but I was able to handle it much easier since she was at an older age. I have been including my 6yr old in so many things having to do with this pregnancy, she even got to see a sonogram and she loved it :(

WWYD?

Re: :( My 6yr old is jealous :(

  • Are y'all a blended family? If so, I bet the blended family board could help you out a bit more. 

    If not, I'd chalk it up to having a long tiring day and she just got emotional. 

     

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  • I probably won't take my 6 y/o to BBB, it's just asking for trouble in all sorts of ways.  Maybe send her off to spend some time with the GPs and go with your DH alone.  I would take her to buy a new gift for the baby that she can pick out on her own.  And, I would also have the baby buy her a new gift for when he arrives - preferrably something that will keep her busy that she'll really enjoy.  I like including my kids, but they're also kids and certain things are hard for them to do on a good day, much less with emotion involved.  KWIM?
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
  • *Blueshirt2003* Im a little new to the msg boards so Im not sure what a blended family is Sad but I went to the board you mentioned to check it out. So if its what Im thinking... my oldest (18) is from a previous marriage and my 6yr old and soon to arrive are from the same father...(still together, and blessings continue) and we all live together. Wink
    Anywho... I appreciate your comment and it makes me feel better. Thank you so much <3
  • *shouldbworkin* Thank you so much for your comment! Love the idea of the gifts Wink I will deff. do it.
    Hey...What does KWIM mean? Embarrassed lol sorry
  • image nhlrem96:
    *shouldbworkin* Thank you so much for your comment! Love the idea of the gifts Wink I will deff. do it.
    Hey...What does KWIM mean? Embarrassed lol sorry

    KWIM is Know What I Mean?

     

    Yea, a blended family is having children with different parents, step kids, step parents, etc.

     

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  • Honestly, don't worry about her being jealous.  It's natural for kids to be jealous and resentful of new siblings.  It's normal for her to feel sad that she won't be the baby of the family any longer.

    None of this means that she won't love her brother and that she won't be a great big sister.  But don't expect her to love her brother all the time! No siblings love each other (or even like each other) all the time!  And that's okay.

    Don't expect her to be 100% happy about the baby and don't criticize her or act disappointed in her when she says stuff like this.  If you do, then all she'll learn to do is bottle those feelings up inside of her.  She'll be more angry and resentful of the baby and of you.  If, however, you let her know that it's perfectly normal to feel sad and upset about a big change like this, she'll get past this stage more quickly.  Remind her that just because you're buying stuff for the new baby doesn't mean you love the new baby more.  It just means the baby needs stuff.  Remind her that you are really happy to be spending time with a big girl like her, and that you and she will always have special times together, even after the baby comes along.  Help her understand that babies are special in a "babyish" way, but that 6 y/o girls are special in a "big girl" way.  Let her know that you are just as excited about having a 6 y/o girl as you are about having a new baby in the house.

    Secondary English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 9th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 4th grade
  • I think she needs some extra attention.  Take a few minutes to admire the things that she can do that a baby CANNOT ("I am so proud that you can ride your bike," "I love that beautiful picture that you drew for me," "You are getting to be such a good reader!"). 

    Also, maybe cut down on the baby talk.  The baby will be around soon enough.  And don't combine trips for things she needs (school supplies, clothes) with a stop to pick up baby things.  It won't hurt you to Oooh and Aaah at Justice or Gymboree or wherever you buy her clothes! 

     

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
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