TTC After a Loss


After our first month of TTC, we're getting a little stressed. My SO has two kids from a previous relationship and they weren't planned. I know that it could take an average couple a year or more to conceive. I was wondering if anyone has any advice on where to go from here and how to keep things alive in the bedroom.

 We're in this together, and we couldn't be any more happy.

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Trying to Conceive 21 to 37 day cycle tickers

Re: Advice!!

  • Only one month and it's already starting to fizzle?! Yikes. Sounds like you might be stressed & I'm sure your dude is feeding off your stress. Don't do the same BIO routine every single time. And I'm not sure if you involve him in your ovulation/fertile window affairs, but DON'T. This usually stresses men out even more.
    Crazy Cat Lady in Training Est. 1983
    TTC 10/2010; Dx: Unexplained Infertility 12/2012
    IUI#1=BFP 4/3/13; EDD 12/13/13
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Relaxing as much as you can is very important for your and your SO. 

    Like the PP said, try not to involve him in any fertile window/OPKs, temping, etc.  It does tend to give him unecesarry pressure and more stress. 

    Remember that sex is an enjoyable expression of love, not just a way to procreate. If you look at BD the same way as having sex just for fun, maybe you and your SO can enjoy each other much better.

     Is the fact that he had two unplanned children adding to your stress?  If so, why?

    Since you've only been trying for one month, try to be as patient as possible. Believe me, I know it can be hard. I've been trying for over a year now. 

    Easier said than done, but the less you think about these things, the better it can be.

    I hope this helps. 

    BFP#1: 7/14/10. EDD: 3/19/11--MMC-- D&C 9/2/10.
    BFP#2: 12:22/10.EDD: 8/30/11 C/P 12/25/10
    BFP#3: 10/26/11 EDD: 7/2/12-- Daniel born 7/14/12. My rainbow baby!
    CONGRATS to my TTCAL buddies ZZsMommy, itsmegin and GPickles on their take home babies!
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  • If you decide to use TTC methods beyond having sex EOD CDs 10-20+, then I would also recommend not discussing it with DH. Men often have trouble performing when they know it's an FWP night, instead of just a normal sex-for-fun night. 

    As for keeping the spark in that? Spend more time snuggling, kissing, touching your DH outside of the bedroom. Physical intimacy goes way beyond the physical act of sex. Take time to nurture feels of intimacy with your DH. It helps keep the spark and strengthens the marriage.

    AMA over 40
    Massive uterine fibroids removed 3/06
    BFP 1/11; MM/C discovered @ 10w, loss at 6w; Cytotec
    B/W 7/11 = normal CD3, FSH 8.9; 7DPO progesterone 1.7
    Three Clomid cycles, all BFN, Off to an RE for me...
    FSH=8.7 E2=30 AMH=1.8 HSG clear, SA=great
    Inj. IUI #1 12/9/11 BFN, Inj. IUI #2 1/6/12 BFN
    Inj. IUI #3 1/30/12 BFP!, HCG doubled through 6w, 7w u/s mm/c twins
    Factor V Leiden, Hetero, symptomatic
    Op Hysteroscopy 5/12, removed scar tissue and uterine septum
    Doing Cryo-DE IVF 
    Beautiful hatching 5-blast transfered 8/30
    BFP 9/7/12 EDD May 19, 2013
    A/S on 12/21/12, Petra's having a baby, it's the end of the world!
    Pebbles arrived safe and sound 4/13. Placenta accreta found.
    Op hysteroscopy 2/7, reopen ute/remove adhesions from accreta
    Found severe Ashermans. Fuuuuuuu... Repeat Op Hyst in March.
    Op Hyst ver 3.0 looks good so far, find out if it worked in June.
    Finally got the damn IUD out. Waiting to stop bleeding.
    SIS shows rippled funky shaped ute, but given clearance to begin sFET calendar.
    Here goes everything...
    sFET#2 BFP, ended in m/c.
    Waiting for the next Op Hysteroscopy to find out what next.
    Scratch that, retained tissue. 3rd Cytotec round.
    Another damn Op Hyst. Found and removed retained tissue.
    Pathology returned fine, no molar. Cleared for final attempt after next cycle.

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    "Petra, you are an obese 40+ year old. Stop jumping through these hoops. Just adopt already. There is no shame in that." -Deethebee
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