I usually get along great with my Mother in Law. She raised 3 children to be good functioning adults. She must have known something about what she was doing. She keeps doing stupid things with my son though (her first grandchild). She and his other grandma divide up babysitting duties 3 days a week while I work part-time because we cannot afford daycare.
First she didn't see a problem with letting him play with the oven, saying it was okay because the oven was off (My husband put an end to that quickly).
Second, she doesn't thinks little kids should wear pants at home, just a diaper (nothing really wrong with this, I just don't like it, find it weird and inappropriate).
Third she taught my 1 year old how to open doors. My husband thought I was overreacting about this until the baby opened the bathroom door while the bathroom was in use. My husband and I have both told her over and over again that we would rather him not play with door handles. She just laughed and said he likes playing with it. So I had my husband be more direct with her and ask her not to let him play with them. It seemed like everything was going alright, then at his Birthday Party, was letting him play with the handle on our front door. I asked her 3 different ways to please move him away from the door with no response from her before I told her "Move him away from the door."
Apparently she went home and complained to my sister-in-law all night after the party that they are doing us a huge favor (which they are) by watching him and that we don't even pay them so we shouldn't tell them what to do. I am the parent, I believe that if I have the right to ask those taking care of my child to do things a certain way. I also feel that I should be able to trust those watching my child to respect the choices I have made as the parent. My husband has made it clear to me that I cannot be so blunt with his mother, but being subtle does not getting through to her. I am used to being extremely blunt and direct (just the way my family tends to communicate) and anyway I talk to this woman she takes as an attack.
I am so frustrated and can't figure out what to do. I would rather she not babysit him anymore if this is how it is, but don't really have another option.