3rd Trimester

Anyone else not planning on BF?

Not looking to start a war or be flamed, just curious to see if there are others out there who don't plan on breastfeeding and their reasons why.

I plan on giving it a go to start with, even though it makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.

My reasons for possibly not pursuing it are as follows;

  • I plan on returning to 30+ hours work 4-6 weeks after LO is here. It will most likely be very stressfull and demanding to pump as much as will be necessary.
  • I would like to resume some activities eventually after LO is here. The freedom to be able to have a bottle of wine on occasion without worrying about what I will be feeding to LO (yes I know I can express, see previous point) would be nice.
  • I consider my boobs to be hugely sexual - and I get turned on thinking about DH interacting with them. I am aware that DH will not be interested in them this way once I start nursing. Also it feels inappropriate to BF when my breasts are a current turn on and this makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.

I am aware my reasoning can sound selfish to some, however I do not feel it will be a disadvantage to LO's health to FF. I have done plenty of research regarding the pros and cons, and currently my feelings have not changed. The negative feelings I have associated with BF and the stresses that they cause as well as the busy lifestyle I will be leading after baby is born, outway the possible benefits IMO.

Anyone else have similar or different reasoning for not jumping on the BF bandwagon?

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Re: Anyone else not planning on BF?

  • I'd hardly consider breast feeding to be a "band wagon". That being said, do what works for you.
    Maddie 08/04/08
    Christopher 10/12/11
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  • I am not and have not been able to nurse any of my kids.  I had a breast reduction surgery when I was 21 and knew that this may interfere with my ability to nurse in the future.

    DD#1 11/7/04 DS#1 6/24/06 Chemical Pregnancy 6/08 DD#2 1/28/10 after secondary infertility, Clomid, & acupuncture missed m/c 6/2010 at 8 weeks (baby stopped growing @ 5.5) DS born sleeping 1/13/2011 due to cord accident at 22 weeks. DD#3 3/10/2012
  • I am not.  I had a really bad experience trying to BF DD and I don't want to put myself through that again or DS. 
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  • I plan to TRY to pump as much as I can for the same reasons you stated BUT I won't be going back to work so I will have more time to try it. If I can't pump enough then I can't and will either supplement or switch. I agree that in the long run my child will be ok no matter what happens. :)
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  • I do not plan to BF for various reasons.  I am a FTM and it was a personal decision my DH and I made.  It wasn't something we decided on lightly but in the end it is the best decision for us.  I myself was FF as was my sister and the majority of my friends.  We all turned out ok.  As for my friends that have BF; their babies ended up with the same colds and illness that my friends who FF babies did.  So I have never let that play a roll in my decision.  It's a personal choice and one that only you can make for yourself. 
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  • I am planning to, just because it is cheaper, it is better for the baby and I will be a stay at home mom from now on. There are also sooo.... many other great benefits to breastfeeding...including loosing the baby fat/weight quicker after delivery!
  • I'm not planning on BF. I FF my first from day one and I plan on doing the same this time around. Just a personal decision. It's what worked best for my family. I don't regret the decision for a minute. I think BF is a wonderful thing but I also think that if I (or anyone) doesn't want to then it's not going to work. My daughter and I had no problem bonding whatsoever and I loved the late night feeding and spending the quiet time with her, having a bottle didn't make that any less special. She never gets sick and I really believe that we are all born with whatever immune system we are going to have. DDs cousins who were BF are constantly sick. It's just what worked best for me :) 
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  • I don't blame you for feeling the way you do about your breasts, etc.  I went to a breastfeeding class last week and the consultant specifically said that although breastfeeding is what all other methods of feeding are based off of, it is not the norm in the United States and we are really at a disadvantage to European women who grow up seeing it and it just comes naturally.  She said even the way we try to position the baby is like we are accustomed to because of seeing babies bottlefed.  So it's not abnormal for you to not feel comfortable with the concept. 

    It is a woman's choice whether to bottle feed or breastfeed.  

    I had a horrible experience with DD1 because of latching issues.  I decided to take a class this time and learn how to overcome that difficulty and where to go for help if I run into problems.  I am still a bit uncomfortable with the concept, but I'm going to try.  I know going back to work will be a challenge and I do want a glass of wine too.  My feeling going into it is I am going to try my best, try to get through all of maternity leave, build up a stock, and see what happens when I go back to work.  I will be happy to make it 3 months.  To me that is the most crucial period because of no immunizations yet, cold/flu season, etc. 

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  • I have many similar feelings to your post. Honestly, I am more worried about breast feeding than labor! I know it is silly!

     I am going to a breast feeding class and reading up to make myself more confortable. I want to at least say I tried my hardest when LO does arrive. However, If it does not work out, I will not be upset with myself in any way as I have heard other mothers experience. The benefits of bonding, weight loss and health benefits for the LO are what is driving my attempt. Even if breast feeding does work out, I will not be exclusively nursing. I will be pumping also.

  • I am going to try but I had a breast reduction a few years ago so I don't know if I will be able to.
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  • I'm not going to BF. FF from day 1. Its everyone's individual choice.
    BFP #1 8.16.10 m/c at 5w BFP #2 10.21.10 m/c at 5w4d 
    BFP #3 2.15.11 EDD 10.27.11. DD born 10.29.11
    Betas @9dpo= 23 Betas @12dpo= 128.5 Betas @17dpo= 1075 Betas @21dpo =5800s
    @6w hb 114 bpm! @8w4d hb 178 bpm! @12w hb 169 bpm! @18w hb 150 bpm!
    BFP #4 2.15.13 EDD 10.29.13 DD born 10.30.13
    Betas @10dpo= 8.2 Betas @13dpo= 74 Betas @17dpo= 694
    @6w1d hb 122 bpm! @8w hb 169 bpm! @12w1d hb 174 bpm! 154 bpm! @18w1d
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  • I feel the same way! I am still up in the air as to whether or not I'm going to BF, or pump, or FF. I am going to try to BF, but like a pp said, I am more afraid of BFing than labor!! I'm glad you posted this, and I'm happy that the responses that you have gotten have all been positive!!
  • I do plan on BF if it is possible but FF is always there if it doesn't work. It is better for your baby's development but most likely if you feel that uncomfortable with it then you will have issues with breastfeeding anyway. We can all understand, atleast I think all haha, that those were part of your HB's playground before so it won't be a place for that until you finish. If this is your first LO I would suggest seeing a lactation consultant in the hospital (if you have one) right after your LO is born and see if she can help you figure out if its what you want. There are many ways to make it work if you want with a work schedule but you have to want to do it. It is also a bonding experience for you and your LO. So if you try it and its not for you no harm done but atleast you can say you tried but go into it with a positive outlook not a negative one. If it makes you uncomfortable thinking of them in a sexual way for your HB, BF for the first time without your HB there. I had similar feelings in the beginning almost like it was embarrassing not sure how to describe it but I eventually read so many books and got myself comfortable with the idea that I am my baby's lifesource. No one on here should look at you differently for it we are all moms and are supposed to support each other :)
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  • I am planning to BF as long as I can, but with DD I had issues with keeping up my milk supply and only made it about 3months before I started using formula to supplement and then eventually stopped BF completely. This seems selfish, but I wasn't able (or maybe not willing?) to maintain my diet well enough to keep it up. (Also, I love wine and beer.....) I totally respect and understand your decision. I could have written that myself before DD was born.

    Just as a side note - my boobs were a major sexual thing before BFing....although it was really hard to get past that thought while I was preg, once she was born I did and I was glad I to have given my daughter the opportunity to get started with breast milk, even though it didn't last. The sexuality did definitely come back soon after I stopped. Make the decision that you are most comfortable with, but try to keep an open mind if at all possible. Four weeks of BFing is better than nothing and maybe when you see LO you will feel differently. Either way, good luck Smile

  • I don't plan on BFing for a variety of reasons. I am a FTM. While I think breastfeeding is a wonderful thing, I also don't think its the end of the world if you choose to FF. Every woman has to make the decision that is right for her and her baby.  As long as the baby is being fed and thriving, then you are fine!
    After 2 years of TTC, our daughter was born on Oct 31, 2011!
    7lbs 13oz  20 inches long
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  • I don't think anyone should have to justify their decision or that there are any right or wrong reasons.  Feed your kid.  That's it!
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  • I think it's interesting that the majority of ladies who commented that they plan to FF are not first time moms. Very telling, I guess we know how hard it can be and it's not just this perfect, easy thing that makes you either a good/bad person depending on choice. 

    I had a nightmare nursing my son-- he stopped latching about day 3 and screamed most of the rest of his time. Once we put him on formula and bottle he was happy and slept. He's been sick once in his entire life, is normal, healthy, and adjusted. I just don't see how anything can be "better" than that.  With this baby, I'm going to try to nurse, but if it doesn't work out I am not going to beat myself up like last time. To the original post, I agree with most of the reasons you listed about not wanting to breastfeed.  

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  • I plan to FF as well. I have the same opinions as you. I did try to nurse for my 1st baby and just did not feel comfortable with it. I am so glad I am not alone. I did feel sorry about it for about a week after but in the end, it was probably the best decision I could have made for our family. My husband was able to help from day one... when I needed it the most! I was going to try to exclusively pump but the nurses told me that that in itself can be a full time job! Don't feel sorry for your decision. My 15 month old has been happy, healthy and is super smart. :)
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  • We shouldn't be allowed to be parents huh?
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  • image jkalil:
    We shouldn't be allowed to be parents huh?

     There have to be crappy parents that care more about themselves than their children, so that the good parents can look even better.

  • image jkalil:
    are you a parent yet?

     

    yep

  • image jkalil:
    Poor kid!! :)

     

     

    Sorry I don't buy into the nonsense that people who judge are just so awful. There are people who make effort and people who do the best fro thier kids and then there are people like the op of this thread. Some people are just lazy, and should be judged as such.

  • image aruiz1982:

    image jkalil:
    Poor kid!! :)

     

     

    Sorry I don't buy into the nonsense that people who judge are just so awful. There are people who make effort and people who do the best fro thier kids and then there are people like the op of this thread. Some people are just lazy, and should be judged as such.

    Oh get off your high horse. Why do you care how she feeds her child? I plan on BFing, but I don't give a rats ass whether you or anyone else does.

    Maddie 08/04/08
    Christopher 10/12/11
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  • image aruiz1982:

    image jkalil:
    We shouldn't be allowed to be parents huh?

     There have to be crappy parents that care more about themselves than their children, so that the good parents can look even better.

    Am I understanding this correctly? Those who FF are crappy parents because it suits their lifestyle and it means we care more about ourselves than our children? Consider me a crappy, selfish parent then! I hope your children don't pick up your judgemental, condescending attitude. Now that would be crappy parenting!!!
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  • image mabst196:
    image aruiz1982:

    image jkalil:
    Poor kid!! :)

     

     

    Sorry I don't buy into the nonsense that people who judge are just so awful. There are people who make effort and people who do the best fro thier kids and then there are people like the op of this thread. Some people are just lazy, and should be judged as such.

    Oh get off your high horse. Why do you care how she feeds her child? I plan on BFing, but I don't give a rats ass whether you or anyone else does.

     

    I'm just point out that op is a disgusting tw4t. She is choosing wine and her husband sucking on her t1ts over providing the nutrition she is supposed to for her child. Trashy wh0re.

  • image ImAnRN:
    image aruiz1982:

    image jkalil:
    We shouldn't be allowed to be parents huh?

     There have to be crappy parents that care more about themselves than their children, so that the good parents can look even better.

    Am I understanding this correctly? Those who FF are crappy parents because it suits their lifestyle and it means we care more about ourselves than our children? Consider me a crappy, selfish parent then! I hope your children don't pick up your judgemental, condescending attitude. Now that would be crappy parenting!!!

     

     

    Thank you!! Let's be crappy parents together :) 

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  • image jkalil:
    haha go back and read.... who is on high horse?

    Quoting is your friend. Learn how to use it. I am defending those who want to FF. Reading comprehension, work on it.

    Maddie 08/04/08
    Christopher 10/12/11
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