New to The Bump

Unhappy with the posters on thebump

I am not new to the bump, but I did just start TTC for #1. The other day I posted my first ever post about a pap smear after which I had some spotting (first time I have ever experienced spotting). Well during this time I had either just ovulated or was ovulating & was very scared about what the spotting could mean! I received one, maybe two posts about how it is normal to experience spotting after a pap and shouldn't worry, but 5 or 6 comments were very negative and downright rude! One even said she was scared for my spawn and I should be too! I thought this a place for women to post their insecurities and fears and be supported by other women. Since then, this post has irrked me and turned me off towards the bump! Even though they have some good information. I guess I am just trying to see if this has happened to others, as I have read many posts but never seen the comments like I did on mine. 

Re: Unhappy with the posters on thebump

  • IMO it depends on a lot of factors: what board you posted on (some are more tight knit than others), how you posted (if you posted a "zomg this is blatantly a newbie post" it may not be well received) and how those people typically respond.

    My rule of thumb is that, if you don't like how people respond, you don't have post on those board. Or anywhere on the Bump. You sometimes need a thick skin.

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    Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
    Don't drink the water.
    Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
  • Funny you should say that. I have seen some pretty mean posts in response to questions. In one situation, I posted something and it was taken wrong and someone called me a b*tch.  I, too, was pretty disappointed. I mean, I'm so excited and happy and couldn't believe people could be so rude. I even sent that person a private message clearing up her misunderstanding and she didn't respond. I suppose you've just got to let mean people be mean, and remember when you're posting to be nice!

     

    On the plus side, MOST responders have been really nice, helpful, and welcoming.  Don't lose faith yet.

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I just read the thread. You were making it sound like you were really worked up over absolutely nothing when that board is full of people with serious IF issues and then came over here and totally exaggerated the whole thing. There were two snarky comments. Not "5 or 6."

    Seriously, I'm usually the one beating the bongo and singing kumbaya around here and even I'm giving you a major eye rolls.

  • I would love to see the OP.
    image
    Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
    Don't drink the water.
    Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
  • I've primarily stuck with the 1st Tri and my birth month board and everyone has been very sweet so far. Like the other ladies said, I think it really depends on what board you're posting on. If you want to freak out go to the 1st tri board where a lot of people are newbies and will likely just tell you it's normal and GL. 

    I also think if you are completely freaking out about something it's probably a better idea to just call your doctor and get it out of the way than post on a board. 

    Unfortunately, you can't force people to be nice and you have to remember that when you are putting yourself out there. It just comes down to the fact that if you can't handle the responses, then don't post. 


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I think it's so stupid for people to discriminate against 'newbies'.  How childish!!  People posting on these boards are adult women who are either mothers, trying to become mothers, or grieving mothers.  What is the world coming to if you can't post a 'stupid' question about a very important issue on THEBUMP.COM!?!?!?!?!  Isn't that the purpose...?  

    As a 'newbie' myself...I have encountered mostly really nice ppl, I've been sticking to the TTC board and just trying to educate myself on the abbreviations and stuff.  

    Good luck to you and don't worry about it too much!!!

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  • image alekkie:

     What is the world coming to if you can't post a 'stupid' question about a very important issue on THEBUMP.COM!?!?!?!?!  Isn't that the purpose...?  

    Eh, it's just like real life. If some stranger walked up to you and asked a "stupid" question about a "very important issue" (maybe only important to them), you'd at the very least probably give a sigh and an eye roll. But on a semi-anonymous message board you can be more blunt than the average bear, especially if you've had a bad day, are hormonal, or find the question to be highly inappropriate for the board it's on.

    image
    Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
    Don't drink the water.
    Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
  • I'm starting off by saying, I'm a semi newbie. I get slightly annoyed with alot of the "blatently obvious newbie posts" because they usual ask a question that has been answered over and over and over again. I had a question that I answered all by myself by looking through alot of the posts. I have poseted once, and it was because I was in need of opinions, everything else others have asked so I read the responses to the others same exact question. I do try to be nice and answer questions (even repeats) to the best of my knowledge, or with what my doctor has told me, or even an experience I have gone through.

     Also I can't find the OP either.. oh well

    My little pumpkin was born at 34weeks, weighing 3lbs, due to severe IUGR & Unexplained Placental Insufficiency. He spent 49 days in the NICU. Lilypie Premature Baby tickers imageimageimage image image image
  • I guess it's understandable what every one is saying, but a lot of ppl do not have the time to leaf through hundreds of posts to look for a random question.  Supposedly, this is a place where you can think of something, hop on, and feel free to ask, stupid or not (no such thing as a stupid question...?)  If people don't like it...then move on.  I just joined and the only reason I am able to half way navigate around the site and figure things out is because I am stuck at my satellite office and there is no business here...so all I do all day is surf.  For a lot of other people, they can only dedicate a few minutes here and there
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  • im a newbie to TTC baby #1 and i know what you mean. i dont know a whole lot about TTC and ive posted quite a few times and the first post that i posted i got someone putting "MUD" i went and looked it up and saw what it meant. i swore that i wasnt going to post ever again!! i have though :) you just have to learn to just take everything with a grain of salt and know that there are no dumb questions.
    Trying to Conceive Ticker
  • As a big poster on The Knot while planning my wedding I was hopefully to find a board here that would be just as friend as the girls I found there. From what I've been told and found out, TB is just like TK. Some boards are more tight knit, as a PP said, than others. I've seen the way newbies are treated and I don't like it. Everyone was new at one point or another and we should all be more friendly and welcome those people in, IMO.

    I learned on TK that the girls on my month board were the most friendly and I have a feeling the same will be said for here. I'll be sure to check out my month board once DH and I have conceived. 

  • I understand this to a certain extent. 

    I really don't like how some older posters discriminate against 'newbies' and make them feel like outcasts.  I have noticed cliques and diffrent types of snark. 

    That being said, some of the girls really deserve it.  Most of the snarky answers are really not uncalled for.  I'm so sick of the 'am I pregnant?'  questions, and the MUD.  Then, there are questions about complicated bodily functions, special circumstances, unexplained bleeding, etc.  I just want to scream CALL YOUR DOCTOR- WE HAVE NO F-ING CLUE!!

    I'm a huge lurker, partly because of the way some of the women act and mostly because I'm more of a listener and less of a speaker.  I think if some women would lurk, read, and research more often, they would learn so much more about pregnancy and childbirth.  I really hate being lumped in with the stereotypical newbie, but since I only have 180something posts... it is what it is.

     



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    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Some people can absoltely be darn right rude here, I agree. You just have to be glad that you aren't one of these people and move on. If peopel have a problem with some newbie questions then DON'T ANSWER THEM. Let someone else who is more patient and understanding answer them.
  • Some boards are really nice and some are pretty snarky. There are hot button issues that are always going to a few nasty comments (vaccine posts/questions generally get slammed with extremists from both sides) but other than that, I hope you'll give the Bump another try since you are looking for support and it does exist here.

    Don't let the veteran members get to you - I doubt I'll still be on here so frequently once I've got my mama rhythm down and for those who want to bully FTMs for having questions, clearly the issue's not with you.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Although I have my days when I kinda feel like being pregnant makes me entitled...I am adding another blessing to the human race. And so, I'm sometimes more easily aggravated than I would normally get at the some situations like, waiting in a  long line to check out when there are clearly more registers to open. Nausea will make me plan the quickest trips possible to get back to my bed. But, overall, I feel a greater love for humanity right now as well as this fierceness for respect and consideration from others. So, I probably would not tolerate any disrespect from another mom or expecting mom because, I would not treat her that way and she should know better. I think those types of posts are completely uncalled for.
  • So what makes ME a newbie (no stupid questions right) I have been on here with the knot and the bump since my husband and I were expecting Is it because I don't post anything and just stalk the message boards that I would be considered a newbie???? Pretty much the only reason I don't comment is because I like reading about everyones day and what they are going through but I'm just one of those people that can't take people being mean to me so I don't really post. I guess I should have started a new post hmm... see newbie can't figure anything out haha...
    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBabyFruit Ticker
  • There is a post on the aug 2011 board and a girl called out all of the bullies and they ripped her apart. I felt bad for her because I believe they chased her off the bump for good. They got offended because they thought she was calling them bullies and said they weren't but went ahead and attacked her. Crazy how the Internet gives everyone license to be bad asses. There are nice bumpies out there please don't let anyone chase you away like they did that girl. Like pp have stated try to have thicker skin and remember if posters are purposely being rude then they are the ones that have the problem:)
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  • I agree with you that some ladies on here can get pretty snarky (from what I've seen just from lurking, not personal experience.) Don't let some bad reactions to one of your posts put you completely off The Bump though! There are plenty of nice women here who want to lend support and DO believe that there is no such thing as a stupid question!

    My advice to you would be to develop a thicker skin. What I like to do, is go to boards that I believe fit my situation, and just kinda lurk there for a while. I find a lot of good info and usually some answers to my questions, without a chance of getting ripped apart by veterans who think that my question is stupid. 

    Sorry for your bad experience, but I hope that you decide to stay on The Bump!



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