Infertility

Dunno How to Feel

So I just had my ET on 9/22 and have been keeping up with all the meds since then.  I was just told on Friday that I will go in on Monday morning for my first beta test.  This is my first time doing IVF and I have felt more hopeful overall.  

Previously, I had gotten to the point with IUI that I just expected it to fail so I'm not so devastated but I'm worried that if this IVF doesn't work I'm really going to go through some emotional upheaval.

I want to believe, but don't want to cry for days again (as I'm not a crier about anything but IF).  I guess when it comes down to it, I'm just afraid and that's my overpowering emotion right now.

Has anyone else felt this way?  I know I'm supposed to "think positive" but that makes it harder for me in the long run. 

Started TTC 4/09 Saw Specialist 7/10 Low Estrogen, FSH, & Progesterone DH: Normal First Round Clomid, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 9/10 Second Round Clomid, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 10/10 IUI #1: Clomid, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 11/10 IUI #2: Clomid, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 12/10 Natural #1: Follistem, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 1/11 Natural #2: Follistem, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 2/11 IUI #3: Follistem, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 3/11 Exploratory Laproscopy: found cysts outside ovaries & fallopian tubes blocked (removed) 5/11 IUI #4: 7/11 IUI #5: 7/11 IVF #1: implanted 2 embryos= BFN w/ no frosties IVF #2: 12/11 implanted 3 embryos= BFN w/ no frosties 2/12: Consulted regular endo about weird test results, worse than nothing. 7/12: Decided that adoption is the best option.

Re: Dunno How to Feel

  • I know in IF, there is always that sense of doubt. But I am a firm believer in "half glass full" gal. I know it is easier said than done.

    Know that you have tons of ladies behind you sending you good vibes all the way!

    TTC since June 2009
    DX: MFI June 2010 & DOR Sept 2011
    Various forms of medicated cycles since June 2010
    IVF #1 tentatively scheduled for 2013
    Doing acupuncture and focus on weight loss in the meantime



    S/PAIF welcome








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  • Yep,I know exactly how you feel. I haven't gone through as much as you have, but these meds make us so emotional. I am already having anxiety thinking about what I will say I am thankful for this year at Thanksgiving if once again I am not pregnant...

     

    I'm on my 15th month..and this is the first month that I've not been hopeful in anyway..because like you said, you don't want to go through an emotional upheaval..

     

    Me: 27, DH 30. TTC since June'10. Lap. in Aug'11 to open right tube, and remove very mild endo. DH just fine. IUI #1 Oct.2011, BFN, cyst forced to wait, IUI#2 BFN. Taking a break before deciding what to do next. No family history of infertility, no known health issues. IF Blog: http://ifdiaries.blogspot.com/
  • We just did our first IVF and got the dreaded negative beta. It's been really really hard, but we jumped right into FET this cycle, which I think has helped. I think the hardest part now is trying to have hope for next cycle, since I'm pretty doubtful about it ever working at this point, even though our doctor swears we'll have a family at the end of this.
    ttc since 02/10 first RE visit 01/11 Clomid + TI 03/11, 04/11, 05/11 IUI 06/11, 07/11 IVF #1 - BFN :( FET - 11/11 beta 11/21/11 BFP!!! :). Beta 1 - 319, Beta 2 - 921 1st ultrasound 12/1 TWINS!! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • im not right there yet but i know what your thinking. i always assumed with my iuis that they would just be negative. we are starting or first ivf and i am already thinking negatively. i think its just stuck in our brains that we will never get anything good, ya know what i mean? until you have a reason to not be hopeful then be happy, thats what i try to live by

    hoping for some really good news for you!

    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers



    TTC since 2005
    missed miscarriage nov 2006- 4 failed clomid cycles-
    3 failed femara iui cycles-
    moving on to IVF oct 2011
    ER nov. 7th
    tansfered 2 blasts on 11/10
    lots of +hpt!!
    beta #1 on 11/21= 50.4
    beta #2 on11/23= 90.8
    another miscarriage 12/23
    moving on to Round 2 of IVF with an auto immune dx
    ER 4/23-retrieved 12 eggs
    ET 4/28 3 transfered
    Beta #1- 356
    Beta #2- 870

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • I completely understand. I've gone through so many ups and downs. Sometimes I feel great and really positive, but sometimes I feel so awful. Every doctor I've ever seen has been so confident that the treatment plan will work, but it never does. I'm tired of getting my hopes up. With my IUIs, I was so okay with the negative result. No tears on beta day. However, I'm terrified with how I will cope with a negative beta from IVF. A friend who got pregnant after her second IUI once told me that she tried to stay positive until beta day. She figured she'd feel bad enough if the result is negative, so why feel miserable for any longer than she has to. I wish I were able to be that positive!

    I think your feelings are so normal!! Good luck on Monday. I sincerely hope next week brings you some wonderful news :).

    Three TI cycles (BFP...miscarriage), five IUI attempts and 2.5 IVF cycles later...BFP!!
    12dp5dt: 765; 15dp5dt: 1979; 17dp5dt: 3379...TWINS!!!!!
    Our perfect baby boys were born at 36w1d!! 








  • I am in the same boat.... my first beta is tomorrow.  I want to think positively, but I am not sure.  

    GL on Monday!!   

    Jennifer TTC #1 Dx PCOS 2009 Apr, Aug, and Sept tried clomid cycles.... BFN. Oct...DH SA results were normal. Me...HSG - left tube was clear, right tube was slightly blocked. Dec - Clomid #4 200mg Feb 2010 - IUI #1 200mg Clomid = BFN. June 2010 - IUI #2 200mg Clomid = BFN. March 2011 - IUI #3 w/ injectables = BFN (1st & last with RE, moving on to IVF). July 2011 - consult for IVF. Sept 2011, 1st IVF. Got our BFP on 10/2/11. Became a mom on 5/5/12 to a beautiful baby boy! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
  • We just did our first IVF and got the dreaded negative beta. It's been really really hard, but we jumped right into FET this cycle, which I think has helped. I think the hardest part now is trying to have hope for next cycle, since I'm pretty doubtful about it ever working at this point, even though our doctor swears we'll have a family at the end of this.
    ttc since 02/10 first RE visit 01/11 Clomid + TI 03/11, 04/11, 05/11 IUI 06/11, 07/11 IVF #1 - BFN :( FET - 11/11 beta 11/21/11 BFP!!! :). Beta 1 - 319, Beta 2 - 921 1st ultrasound 12/1 TWINS!! Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Thanks ladies, it's so nice to talk to people that know what I'm going through.  I'm going to try being cautiously optimistic and see where that gets me.

    Good luck lilredj on your beta!!  Sending the best vibes I can your way!!  And best of luck to the rest of you ladies on the next step in your IF journey.

    Started TTC 4/09 Saw Specialist 7/10 Low Estrogen, FSH, & Progesterone DH: Normal First Round Clomid, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 9/10 Second Round Clomid, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 10/10 IUI #1: Clomid, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 11/10 IUI #2: Clomid, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 12/10 Natural #1: Follistem, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 1/11 Natural #2: Follistem, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 2/11 IUI #3: Follistem, Ovidrel, & Prometrium 3/11 Exploratory Laproscopy: found cysts outside ovaries & fallopian tubes blocked (removed) 5/11 IUI #4: 7/11 IUI #5: 7/11 IVF #1: implanted 2 embryos= BFN w/ no frosties IVF #2: 12/11 implanted 3 embryos= BFN w/ no frosties 2/12: Consulted regular endo about weird test results, worse than nothing. 7/12: Decided that adoption is the best option.
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