Pregnant after a Loss

Pregnant after loss - how do you stay sane?

Hello everyone,

 This is the first time I have posted on here, but I desperatly need someone to talk to and we since we are keeping the pregnancy a secret until we know things are healthy I am turning to you. I just found out that I am pregnant again after having a miscarriage that they deemed ectopic after lots of tests 9 months ago. I am thrilled, but terrified. I am trying to not get my hopes up too high..as I don't know what I am going to do if I have to suffer another loss, but of course that is really hard to do. I just moved to a new city and had to find a new doctor...I called today and the earliest they can get me in is Oct. 12 -- two whole weeks! How am I suppose to stay sane and keep baby healthy if I don't know if it is in my uterus or not?

Any suggestions/support would be wonderful. Thank you and Baby dust to all!

Re: Pregnant after loss - how do you stay sane?

  • I totally feel ya!! That is how I ended up here myself....

    Sane?? Well...I read a lot of the postings and chat away. Sometimes people post back to what I have to say and sometimes they dont...but just getting things off my chest and feeling like I can reach out is a HUGE help.

    I spent my whole first day after signing up for The Bump just reading and going back and reading more...

    As for my body...well, I am just doing everything I am supposed to....my first appointment is on the 7th of October but I had my positive test in mid September...so yeah...its stressful for sure. Last time everything failed not long after I went to my first appointment...a few weeks...so I am going to just take my vitamins...and keep things going until I know more...thats all I can do.

    Wishing you all the best!!

  • Congratulations!!  We've all been there, after recently finding out, and it is very scary!  I still get scared at every pain I feel.  I think it's all about just taking it day by day and knowing that nothing you do will change the outcome.  Waiting for that first ultrasound is the absolute LONGEST wait ever, but hopefully it will go by quickly for you and you will be able to see the heartbeat when you go!

    Good luck to you!!

    imageimage
    M/C #1 2001 (6w1d); M/C #2: 10/02/10 (4w4d); M/C #3 05/26/11 (4w3d) Clomid BFP #4 7/18/11 @ 9DPO Please baby stick! Beta #1 (11DPO)=51; Beta #2 (13DPO)=170; Beta #3 (19DPO)=2659!! EDD: 03/31/12
  • First off congrats!!!

    And I don't know if sane is the right word to describe any of us.  Scared, and nervous, and excited, and terrified, and overjoyed, and hopeful, and pessimistic, and hard on ourselves, and worried, and exstatic, those all fit sometimes at the same time...but sane not so much.....

    PGAL is a really hard road to walk down and it seems to take so much longer than a normal pregnancy.....Sad

    We all have really good days, and we all have really bad ones.  I wish I could tell you that once you go to the OB and find out that baby is in the right spot, that you will feel better, but in all likelyhood, though you will certainly be relieved.   You will be scared the whole way.

    We all are and it is normal and it is ok.  We have a motto that we stick by no matter what is going on or how we feel I encourage you to adopt it too.  Today I am pregnant and I love my baby...

    Welcome to the group and I wish you a happy, healthy, 9 months and look forward to getting your updates!!!!

    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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  • Hello!  Welcome to the board.

    First of all, please don't post on the Trying to Conceive After a Loss board.  Stick to posting here.  

    Second, yes, it's not an easy road.  Especially these very early days.  I wish I had an answer for you.  It's not easy to stay sane, but we don't have much choice.  This board can be a huge help. 

    Good luck to you!  I hope the time passes quickly and you have a great u/s with a baby right where it's supposed to be.

    Me: 39 DH: 35 - TTC #1 since October 2010
    BFP #1 2-1-11 Missed Miscarriage 3-14-11(9 wks)-D&C
    BFP #2 9-17-11 EDD 5-29-12
    Edward James born 3-14-12 weighing 1lb11oz at 29w1d via c section due to low fluid and growth restriction from crappy placenta.
    My BFP Chart
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers <a href="http://s1088.photobucket.com/albums/i339/sbphotos1/?action=view
  • I don't see why you felt the need to post on TTCAL when you are already seeking support here. Please delete it over there.
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    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • image shmeell25:
    I don't see why you felt the need to post on TTCAL when you are already seeking support here. Please delete it over there.

    This! You need to delete your post on TTCAL

    Married 9/19/09
    BFP#1 05/19/10 M/C 6/4/10 d/x threatened m/c 6/6/10 m/c confirmed
    BFP#2 10/26/10 M/C 11/01/10
    BFP#3 11/28/10 C/P 11/29/10
    BFP#4 02/23/11 M/C 3/1/11
    BFP#5 08/13/11 EDD 04/27/12 Beta @11DPO 8.79 Beta @13DPO 36 Beta @17DPO 179 Beta @20DPO 679!! 6w3d hb 116 bpm! 8w3d hb 164 bpm! 10w4d hb 177-187 NT scan 12w2d hb 173-everything looks great! 14w4d-everything still looks great! A/S scheduled for 12/12!
    Our rainbow baby is here!! Emmalynn Anne born 4/27/12 via unplanned c-section
    BFP#6 Surprise! Here comes baby #2! Harper Elizabeth born 12/17/13 via c-section
  • Please delete your post on TTCAL. It may hurt many of the ladies over there, and they are all good friends of mine (and of many of the ladies on this board).

    As far as staying sane...it is hard, even for those of us who haven't had an ectopic.  If you just got a BFP and are only waiting 2 weeks to see the doctor, then it is great that they are getting you in so early.  Before 6 weeks there is no guarantee of seeing anything even in a healthy pregnancy, although if you are really concerned about another ectopic you might be able to get a u/s at 5 weeks to confirm the gestational sac is in the right place. 

    If the new OB does not know about your history, I would call them up and inform them now, because the care might be different that that of a woman with no history of ectopics or pregnancy loss.

    I keep reminding myself that every pregnancy has to start somewhere.  And yes, I have lots of little freakout moments, but I try to just focus on breathing and reassuring myself.  Today I am pregnant.  (To be honest...I am not comfortable with the 'and I love my baby' part yet because I am afraid of being that attached this soon).  

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie Pregnancy tickers
    ♥ BFP #3 2/7/14 - My BFP chart - EDD 10/20/14♥
    ♥ BFP #2 9/18/11 Nicole Evelyn born 5/17/12 at 38w3d ♥

    ♥ BFP #1 11/20/10 hb 12/14/10 natural m/c 12/25/10 at 8w3d ♥
     • Fateful appt. 2/11: Saline sono - polyp; thyroid nodule...it's cancer •  Hysteroscopy to remove polyp 3/17/11 •
    Total thyroidectomy (papillary carcinoma) 4/4/11
    RAI 5/9/11• Laparoscopic fibroid removal 11/2012
    ♦ Cancer free since May 2011 ♦

  • image pottermommy:

    First off congrats!!!

    And I don't know if sane is the right word to describe any of us.  Scared, and nervous, and excited, and terrified, and overjoyed, and hopeful, and pessimistic, and hard on ourselves, and worried, and exstatic, those all fit sometimes at the same time...but sane not so much.....

    PGAL is a really hard road to walk down and it seems to take so much longer than a normal pregnancy.....Sad

    We all have really good days, and we all have really bad ones.  I wish I could tell you that once you go to the OB and find out that baby is in the right spot, that you will feel better, but in all likelyhood, though you will certainly be relieved.   You will be scared the whole way.

    We all are and it is normal and it is ok.  We have a motto that we stick by no matter what is going on or how we feel I encourage you to adopt it too.  Today I am pregnant and I love my baby...

    Welcome to the group and I wish you a happy, healthy, 9 months and look forward to getting your updates!!!!

    Allll of this!  I could not possibly think of a better way to respond.  Also,  I would like to add that 2 weeks is actually pretty good because they might be able to do an ultrasound then (it would be difficut to do that any earlier).  You could call and ask if you can get the lab to draw betas for you (twice...48 hours apart), for peace of mind.  If the numbers are doubling or approximately doubling, it's a good sign.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    BFP 12/05/10 (EDD 8/8/11), empty gestational sac 12/31/10, natural miscarriage 01/05/11
    BFP 03/03/11, EDD 11/09/11, We love you so much already, our sweet little munchkin!!!
    BabyFruit Ticker
    *Congrats to buddies MrsAtch, cflocco, MommyandKate, luckylady55, opallover, trishiepoo, stephsteph77, and Pachita! Praying for healthy babies for all of you!*
    *Congrats to my buddy, Izabella22 (BFP 5/11/11)!!!Sending you Ts and Ps for a healthy, take-home baby!
    *Congrats to my buddy, myaddiwaddi06(BFP 10/31/11)!!!Sending you Ts and Ps for a healthy, take-home baby!
  • Duplicate post

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    BFP 12/05/10 (EDD 8/8/11), empty gestational sac 12/31/10, natural miscarriage 01/05/11
    BFP 03/03/11, EDD 11/09/11, We love you so much already, our sweet little munchkin!!!
    BabyFruit Ticker
    *Congrats to buddies MrsAtch, cflocco, MommyandKate, luckylady55, opallover, trishiepoo, stephsteph77, and Pachita! Praying for healthy babies for all of you!*
    *Congrats to my buddy, Izabella22 (BFP 5/11/11)!!!Sending you Ts and Ps for a healthy, take-home baby!
    *Congrats to my buddy, myaddiwaddi06(BFP 10/31/11)!!!Sending you Ts and Ps for a healthy, take-home baby!
  • First - Congratulations and Welecome!

    Second - it's so hard being PgAL. I hope your two weeks goes by fast! I know it's easier said than done but I really thought hard about my symptoms which was bad some days because they would vanish - freaking me out - but most days they were in full swing. After getting a sono pic I would go and look at it when I was scared. *hugs*

  • Please delete your post on TTCAL, it is completely unneccesary and mean to leave it up over there. Hope you have a H&H 9 months but please be sensitive to the ladies on the other board who are not as fortunate as you to be PgAL.
    BFP 7/27/10, no hb discovered 9/3/10, natural m/c 9/17/10
    BFP #2- 2/1/11,bleeding- 2/6/11, natural m/c @ 5wks
    BFP #3- 4/29/11 - DS born 12/31/11
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    TTCAL buddies with LilMaggs and psumel13
  • There is no real answer to your question for me. I'm still trying to figure out how to stay sane myself. The only thing that has seemed to work for me so far is focusing on the good things that are tangible and turning to the ladies here. Congrats on your BFP :)
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    Chloe Adason Born 1/12/12
  • I didn't really stay sane the first trimester. I was a nervous wreck! Luckily my OB allowed me to come in every 2 weeks for the entire first tri just for my own sanity. It is really hard being PGAL. It helped me to see all the ladies here that were having healthy babies and normal pregnancies.  I hope the first tri flies by for you and that this LO is your perfect take-home baby!

  • Thank you so much for your post. I am sitting at work crying my eyes out..it means a lot and helps to hear it from someone else. That is exactly what I have been trying to do.

    As far as posting on the other board, I am sorry if I offended anyone. I have noticed that posts are not always in the right spot on some of these boards..I did not mean to make anyone feel bad and am sorry if that was what happened.

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