2nd Trimester

Help: People requesting Baby Shower Gifts Ideas/Desires

Let me start off by stating that I do not believe I'm going to have a baby shower at all.  I don't have any close friends close by that would think of doing such a thing.  It's been 20 years since giving birth to my last child (I'll be 42 when this one comes along).  The friends I do have are segmented.  You know, church friends, neighbor friends, activity friends...but no big unified tie or anything.

And then there are my husband's friends (co-workers or otherwise through his business) that I only know as acquaintances, but whom he's known and been pals with for several years.   That's where I'm coming into conflict.  He's just closer to people than I am (warmer more outgoing personality).  Two of them are insisting (strongly and frequently) that they want to give a gift for the baby.  They've gone as far to say to DH that our turning them down would insult their feelings.  Very very sweet.  The thing is, we have no clue what to ask for...obviously we don't have baby "left overs" from my previous kids.  There are so many "new fangled" things on the market... and so much is expensive now-a-days.  I feel like a heel asking them for something expensive, I don't have any "fantasy" budget item, but I also think saying "you know, whatever you want..maybe onsies and diapers" or something generic isn't the thing to do either.  

We've only made a single purchase thus far, the crib, and planned not to purchase anything ourselves until late in the game (Dec).  My thoughts were just to go as minimalist as possible.  

I should also throw in there that as a general rule both DH and I are the kinds of people who would not expect or anticipate gifts on any occasion and were both raised that one does not ask for things...so there's an internal mental block that we are both fighting against as well.  It's like we were trained not to accept or allow kindness like that without feeling guilt or pushy.  

What should we do?   

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Re: Help: People requesting Baby Shower Gifts Ideas/Desires

  •  I would probably say  " We have literally have nothing right now and with the large gap between my two kids I am unsure whats out there, so your favorite baby item you recommend, outfits or diapers are all great."  recommend target and walmart since baby's r us has a shiity return policy. 
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  • I agree with PP and I am not sure why they are asking for such specifics.  If they aren't sure, clothes/books/toys etc.. are always welcome.  

  • Is it possible that you start a small registry of items, mainly for yourself and DH as a list of things to purchase later, that you could share with them? Just tell them that it's a list for yourselves so you don't miss/forget anything later. That way they can choose whatever they feel is appropriate (price wise, etc.) For instance, Buy Buy Baby has a registry checklist of some essentials to get you started. I'm taking the minimalist approach like you; I don't feel a lot of the things out there are necessary, and my registry right now is to wrap my head around what we'll really need later. Good luck!
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  • image PickyNikki:
    Is it possible that you start a small registry of items, mainly for yourself and DH as a list of things to purchase later, that you could share with them? Just tell them that it's a list for yourselves so you don't miss/forget anything later. That way they can choose whatever they feel is appropriate (price wise, etc.) For instance, Buy Buy Baby has a registry checklist of some essentials to get you started. I'm taking the minimalist approach like you; I don't feel a lot of the things out there are necessary, and my registry right now is to wrap my head around what we'll really need later. Good luck!

    Definitely make a registry whether you're having a shower or not, and add lots of diapers and formula if you're using it. This way you can send people who want to get a gift there, and if nothing else both Babies R Us and Target have a completion program that gives you a 10-15% off any items not purchased. So you can go back after LO arrives and get discounted items. 

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  • I won't be getting a shower either, I don't really know anyone as I just moved her a few months ago and just started a new job.

    Family back home wants to buy stuff and mail it, so I just registered on babiesrus.ca and now they can just choose stuff and send it. This way they kind of have an idea of what I need.

    I didn't know what to put on my registry because I'm a first time mom as well, and babiesrus gives you a list of things that they recommend. The most expensive thing I have on there is a baby swing for 100 dollars, and have a lot of cheaper smaller things so there is a good range based on what they want to spend. I found this easiest for those that want to get something but don't know what I would need/want when I didn't even know what I needed or wanted.

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  • More so than a swing, I used my bouncy seat with my daughter. It was easier to bring along or have her sit in in the kitchen while I cooked or the bathroom while I showered.

    I did love my swing though, the seat was removable and my Graco carseat could attach to it. That way if DD was getting fussy but we were leaving soon, I could put her in her carseat and then on the swing for her to nap and then I just picked up the carseat and went, no need to wake her up to put her in the car. It also plugged into the wall so I wasn't spending a fortune in D batteries. 

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  • I think people just like to buy things for babies. I am totally one of these people. I love buying baby gifts! It is truly fun for me to have the excuse to go shopping. I really don't even expect a thank you note (although they are always appreciated). If people are offering it is not because they feel obligated to buy something for you but because they want to. Just let them have their fun and try not to feel guilty!

     I agree with PP about making a small registry. Then you can tell anyone that asks where it is and tell them they are welcome to choose something from the list or use their imagination because you are sure there is lots of great stuff that you haven't even thought of.

  • I agree - start a registry for the basics (carseat, swing, stroller, clothes, boppy, etc.) for the pure and simple reason of getting the completion coupons.  Yes, what was available on the market 20 years ago for baby things vs. today are completely different. 

    Sears is a good place to register for baby stuff as well. 

    A lot of things you'll be able to pick up from places like thrift stores and Once Upon a Child.  OTOH, there are things like a carseat that it's just a bad idea on many levels to purchase used.  You never know what the people's budget is for a baby gift.  They may simply want to get you some clothes and toys, just roll with it. 

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