March 2012 Moms

Fears

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it'll be like when we actually bring this baby home and into our lives, and I have to admit, I'm a little scared! Aside from the "normal" fears (having a healthy baby, pain during labor/delivery, etc..), have you experienced any other fears so far in your pregnancy?

I'm afraid DH won't be affectionate if this baby is a boy

I'm afraid I'll be rude to people who want to be at our house all the time

I'm afraid I won't know what to do when the baby is crying

I'm afraid people will think I'm a bad mom

I'm afraid DH and I won't have as great a relationship as we do right now 

 

Alright, now it's your turn...what fears do you have? 

DS born 3.12

DD born 7.14

Re: Fears

  • I can't wait to get to that point. RIght now my only fear is the same as it has been since day one. Actually having a baby in march. 

    Labor really doesn't scare me too much. I know what I want, but also know that may not happen. My little sister gave birth, and then had an umbilical hernia repaired 2 months later. She said the hernia surgery was 50X worse than birth. Then again, I am planning on an epidural. If I was going natural I'd be more worried ;)

    As far as after... I guess it is my mom and I getting along :) She moves in for a month to do all night feedings as a "gift". It could be ugly. 

  • image lindslalala:

    I'm afraid DH won't be affectionate if this baby is a boy

    I'm afraid I'll be rude to people who want to be at our house all the time

    I'm afraid I won't know what to do when the baby is crying

    I'm afraid people will think I'm a bad mom

    I'm afraid DH and I won't have as great a relationship as we do right now 

    No you pretty much summed it up!  I have all of these.  Especially the rude to people who want to be at our house all the time.  I've already informed DH if it's his family it's his responsibility, my family is mine. 

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  • I'm scared of other moms.

    ETA: Sorry.  I didn't mean for that to sound as snarky as it did.  In all seriousness, other moms make me very nervous.  I'm not a very maternal person and I'm nervous about how motherhood will mix with my personality.  Combine that with some of the judging moms out there and I'm scared of how I will react.  (I'll probably cry.  A lot.)

     

  • I'm afraid of how I will be as a mom and how dh & I will be as a family  (I didn't have a stable family growing up so my fear stems from that). I also am scared how life will change and how we will be financially.
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  • image Dewey12:
    I'm scared of other moms.

     

    This!

     

    I am also super scared my MiL will continue to be a complete b!tch to me for some unknown reason and that DH won't be on the same page with me when it comes to (if necessary, which I think it will be if she doesn't back off) limiting her visits with LO.  At least he's already on the same page as me that his mother is not allowed to ever be alone with our LO.  EVER.

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  • I'm mostly just afraid of managing two kids and how my son will react to the new baby. He is very much a mama's boy so I don't think he's going to be thrilled about somebody stepping on his territory.
  • I'm afraid the sleep deprivation and the stress will cause a fracture in our marriage.

    I'm afraid that breast feeding won't work out.

    I'm afraid my other mom friends will judge me.

     I'm afraid that DH won't step up and help take care of the house more while I'm recovering.

    I'm afraid of having to return to work in September and that I won't love teaching anymore.

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  • I'm afraid the baby will like my husband more than me

    Seriously though, he is already "Disneyland Dad" with the dogs and they totally like him more.  I'm the only one who disiplines the dogs and I'm afraid it will be the same with the baby.

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  • I'm afraid DH won't be affectionate if this baby is a boy - I wouldn't worry about that one.

    I'm afraid I'll be rude to people who want to be at our house all the time - Sometimes you need to be rude.  People are dense and you need to spell it out to leave you guys alone.  I had relatives who were coming up with all sorts of excuses to come over.  We finally put our foot down and said, "Sorry we're not having visitors today or for the next few days, we need a break"

    I'm afraid I won't know what to do when the baby is crying - It's stressful, I won't lie but your mothering instinct takes over and you will get an ear for the different types of crying.  It's a process of elimination.  Just try to stay calm and run through the different possibilities of what's upsetting the baby and eventually you will find it.  Crying never hurt a baby so try not to stress too much.

    I'm afraid people will think I'm a bad mom - I was worried about that around my family members too but everyone around your baby will realize that baby's aren't always simple creatures.  Relatives were just as insecure around my daughter as I was.  My brother still is unsure how to act around my daughter and she's almost 2 years old.

    I'm afraid DH and I won't have as great a relationship as we do right now -  Your relationship will change.  Your life will never be the same again...but there are also other positives to having a child join your family.  You will get to see your husband act in a more nurturing way towards a baby...it's an awesome sight to see.

     



  • I'm afraid that I will fail at breastfeeding again. 

    I'm afraid that I won't be able to give enough individual attention to either DS or the new baby.

    I'm afraid of our out of state move which will happen when this baby is 4-8 weeks old. 

    Hilary
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  • I'm afraid that I am going to have another colicky baby and I'm not going to be able to handle it this time. 

    I worry that my supply won't come in.  I worried about this last time too.

     

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  • I too am afraid of people not taking the hint to leave our house or that we don't want them there and taking offense.

    My mother is planning to come a stay for 2 weeks after the baby is born and I know this sounds horrible but I don't want her here.

    She is planning on flying in and thinks my husband who will be returning back to work earlier than our liking, is going to leave me and the baby for 3 hours to drive to the airport to pick her up and then get to drive one of our vehicles while she is here. Plus is a smoker and has no disregard for second hand smoke or the fact she smells like an ashtray and smokes in her vehicles and gets upset that we won't let her in ours. On top of the fact by then we will have my husbands truck and a new SUV and she is not comfortable driving big vehicles. She also is a mess and when I go to their house I spend half the trip cleaning their house cause it drives me nuts and will sit on the computer for hours on end and ask everyone around her to get her a drink, snack, whatever.

    Ummm what kinda help is she going to provide me? Plus NO ONE drives mine and my husbands vehicles but us. No friends, no family, no one!

     So there is my fear and FFC all in one!

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  •  I'm afraid of how my DD2 is going to act around the baby. She's only going to 17 months :/ 

    I'm afraid to actually have the 3 kids at home by myself. 

    I'm don't know how I'm going to GO anywhere with them. The thought of the double stroller is just scaring me now. 

     





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  • image tash_rn:

    I'm afraid the baby will like my husband more than me

    Seriously though, he is already "Disneyland Dad" with the dogs and they totally like him more.  I'm the only one who disiplines the dogs and I'm afraid it will be the same with the baby.

    THIS!!! which is why I've always wanted a girl so I could have the mother daughter bond but I am literally in the same boat as you with the dogs and everything! The ONLY difference is I only have 1 dog! But also my hubs has 3+ nephews and he is the favorite uncle and I watch him like, Man if we have a boy watch it's gonna be just like that! Just like with the dog. I'm mom and the dog knows it, but my dog is daddy's boy, hands down!

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  • I think my main fear is that my in-laws will be coming over EVERY DAY FOREVER!  I have no problem telling them to leave, and I won't feel bad about it either, but I just wish I didn't have to.  I mean, my mother in law had two kids.  Did she want people over her house all the time after she had her babies?  I doubt it.  Who would want that?

    I have a feeling I will have to end up telling them to leave.  Every. Day.  


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  • I'm afraid of how I'll manage 2 under 2yrs. DD is a mama's girl - I worry about how she'll react/treat LO (she's starting a biting phase), I don't want her feeling left out but I also know newborns demand a lot of attention.

    Right now it's tough enough keeping up with house/work/activities and adding 1 more to the mix means more work.

    I worry about DH & my relationship. We clearly don't spend as much quality time with eachother. We need to put some focus on our marriage.

     

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  • I feel like I just realized the other day I was actually pregnant... with twins. I starting thinking about how much our life is going to change and how I would never get to do so many of the things I love to do anymore. It scared me a bit.

    I worry my DH and I will be completely consumed by the babies and have no time for eachother.

    I worry how we will afford everything.

    I worry if I will be able to be a mother 24 hours, 7 days without having a crazy breakdown. 

    I worry I just plain won't be good at it. 

    feels kinda nice to just put that out there, no matter how irrational it probably is. 

     

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