Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Son starting Daycare..having a hard time

I am returning to work in 2 weeks.  My son is going to an inhome daycare, and attended 2 part days this week to gear up to it.  The first day he was there for 3 hours, and did well until nap time when he refused to nap and had a meltdown. Today he was there for 5 hours and once again refused to nap.  Only today according to the DCP he cried for 3 hours.  He was absolutely exhausted, a mini train wreck when I picked him up.  It was so hard to see him so upset.  He is such a laid back baby at home.  He has been to childcare at my gym since he was 6 weeks old, but only for 1.5 hours at a time so it isn't like he is never away from me.  I am so sad  at this change as I love being home with him (staying off now that my mat leave is up is not an option for both financial and professional reasons).  I know he has to learn to be away from me and be more independent, but the fact that he has struggled so much is hard.  How long did it take your LO's to adjust to daycare?  Is there anything you did to help with the transition?  How did you all adjust to being away from LO?  How long do you think is too long for a LO to cry? TIA
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Re: Son starting Daycare..having a hard time

  • I just returned to work last week, (also from Ontario), and I can honestly say that we are still having a difficult time adjusting.

    I started to slowly integrate the DC, (also a home-based DCP), into our routine on a part-time basis six weeks before I returned to work and she is still having little meltdowns when I drop her off.  That being said, it gets better every day and, on Tuesday, was so good that she was actually able to wave to me from the window as I got in the car without tears!

    I don't really have any advice for you other than to just stick with it.

    I know it doesn't help at the time, but it will get better ... you just have to keep a consistent routine.

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  • My LO has been going to an in-home daycare since about 10 weeks.  To be honest we've had no problems really until the past couple weeks he's starting to fuss/cry a bit and reach for me when I drop him off in the morning.  I think you're working with two things here: starting daycare and a normal phase of being away from mom/dad.  Make sure he has some favorite items (blanket, toy, etc).  Try not to stress if he doesn't take a nap for a while.  My LO goes through phases at daycare when he takes as little as a 30 min nap all day.  Are you able to spend some time with him there?  Like 15 minutes of playing with him and being positive so that he sees that you're happy.  When I leave LO in the moring, I give him a hug, kiss and say "See you later."  He fusses for a bit but my provider says by the time I'm out of hte driveway he's over it.
  • I just started back to work part time around 3 weeks ago (Manitoba) and DS did 3 days a week with an in-home DCP. He is now going full time.

    The first day he had a meltdown before his nap. I'm pretty sure it was from him being around 4 other kids and he's not quite used to that. Since then he's been fine and I can't wait to pick him up after work because I know he'll have smiles and hugs for me. 

    Hang in there, it's an adjustment for everyone but it will get better. 

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  • I'm in Ontario, too!  I still have two more months until M starts daycare (also an in-home one), and I'm already stressed about it.  He doesn't nap well already, so I can just imagine what a mess he'll be when he's with strangers and other kids.



  • We started daycare at 10 weeks, but I just want to say that it is a really great feeling to have a great day at work and then see your little one happily playing with friends when you pick them up!  We go to a center and I can stand at the door to her room and just watch her for a few min without her seeing me.  She is SO happy to play with the teachers and her little friends and even happier when she sees me.  It's a great feeling to know that she has a good time there while I move forward with my career.

    There seems to be a developmental thing going on around this age too. My LO is 11 months and started fussing and clinging when we do drop off out of the blue a few weeks ago.  Daycare told me it's normal and this too shall pass.  They say she is fine within 2 minutes of us leaving and I believe it (they are very honest when she has a bad day). 

    Is it possible for your husband to drop off and you pick up? We did that for awhile because drop off was harder on me.

    Your LO will settle into a new routine in know time, but it is totally normal to be stressed about this transition! 

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  • Thank you all so much for your posts.  It is helpful to know that even LO's who are have been at Daycare for a while can still struggle (maybe it is developmental) at this age.  
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