Toddlers: 24 Months+

Behavior Problems.....and solutions?

We are having trouble with hitting. He has been hitting the other children at daycare and today he hit the teacher. They want me to talk with him, but how do you talk to a two year old about hitting? It's ridiculous, I've already taken away thing and told him why it is being taken away but he looks at me oblivious. Time out is a complete joke. Just want some others opinions about how I'm suppose to deal with it. I'm looking at him getting kicked out of daycare if it doesn't stop.
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Re: Behavior Problems.....and solutions?

  • I don't know what you've tried so far, but it sounds like you've mainly just used punishment.  That's ok if used with positive reinforcement of good behavior, but won't get your far by itself.  Also, if you're punishing him at home for his behavior at daycare, I'd stop doing that.  Two year olds don't have the focus to realize that they're sitting in timeout, or getting their favorite toy truck taken away, for something they did 3 hours before, you know?

    If you haven't already... explain to him that it's not nice to hit, and that it hurts his friends, and that if he keeps doing it he won't have any friends that will want to play with him.  Practice good behavior and gentle touches all.the.time.  You could even try role playing the good behavior and bad behavior scenarios if you think that might help.  Show him that being nice will get him farther than being mean to his friends. 

    DS started having some issues with hitting shortly before turning 2, and that's basically the stuff that I did with him.  It worked pretty quickly, and within a matter of a couple weeks he got it.  He'll even tell you now that we don't hit our friends, because it makes them sad and it's not nice. 

  • What are they doing at the daycare about it?  If they are not giving immediate consequences, then your LO will never "get it." 

    Also, I am a big fan of the book "Hands are not for hitting."  Works well with every child I've read it to and other moms I have talked to say it's worked for them ,too.

    And like pp said, reinforce the good behavior and work on "nice touches." That really helped my son.  GL!



    Lilypie - (fq73)

    Lilypie - (OfID)

     

  • image leslie13510:

    I don't know what you've tried so far, but it sounds like you've mainly just used punishment.  That's ok if used with positive reinforcement of good behavior, but won't get your far by itself.  Also, if you're punishing him at home for his behavior at daycare, I'd stop doing that.  Two year olds don't have the focus to realize that they're sitting in timeout, or getting their favorite toy truck taken away, for something they did 3 hours before, you know?

    If you haven't already... explain to him that it's not nice to hit, and that it hurts his friends, and that if he keeps doing it he won't have any friends that will want to play with him.  Practice good behavior and gentle touches all.the.time.  You could even try role playing the good behavior and bad behavior scenarios if you think that might help.  Show him that being nice will get him farther than being mean to his friends. 

    This.  Giving a young child a consequence for something he/she did earlier that day won't hold.  As a teacher I encourage students to come to me with a problem immediately instead of waiting until they went home to tell their parents and then the parents come to me the next day.  By then, the "offender" may not even remember what they did the other day and giving any sort of consequence is useless.

     Aside from what leslie had suggested I wanted to also add that if you have time at drop-off watch your LO interact with others.  When you see him behaving nicely give him lots of praise.  Since it sounds like the situation is only at daycare he may hold more weight if you praise the good behavior in the environment where he's been displaying bad behavior.

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  • image hijoi:

    What are they doing at the daycare about it?  If they are not giving immediate consequences, then your LO will never "get it." 

    Also, I am a big fan of the book "Hands are not for hitting."  Works well with every child I've read it to and other moms I have talked to say it's worked for them ,too.

    And like pp said, reinforce the good behavior and work on "nice touches." That really helped my son.  GL!

    all of this.  our dcp gives an immediate timeout for biting/hitting and we do the same at home...and that book is great...we also repeatedly showed "gentle" and "nice" touches...GL!

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