November 2011 Moms

2nd time moms... did you have a doula? 1st time moms will you?

I have just started thinking about this, and maybe it is a little late. Tell me what your experiences were? Did  you have a doula, do you wish had hired one? 1st time moms, are you planning to have a doula? I am planning on an epidural, but have heard that their support is priceless. What do you think?
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Re: 2nd time moms... did you have a doula? 1st time moms will you?


  • I'm also having an epi and I'm using a birth doula - we were able to find an apprentice so it's only $350.  The more experienced they are, the more they cost, and since we are having a hospital birth with an epi, didn't think it was necessary to have a midwife.  We are using her more to help us out, soothe me, soothe my husband, and be just general support so we stay as calm, cool and collected as we can under the circumstances.  I have heard that it's worth the money, and the statistics show that it decreases the chance of c-section and other complications.  
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  • Nope. I'm a FTM, but I think anyone other than my DH will just annoy me. I'm not really a people person!
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  • I meet with a couple when I was pg with my daughter.  The first one had this sing songy voice and told me that childbirth didn't have to hurt at all.  After I stopped laughing at that I realized she was serious.  I asked how that was possible and she said I needed to go to my happy place.  And that she charged $1200.  I decided my happy place was wherever I was with my $1200 in my own wallet.

    Then I met with another one.  She might have been great, but she had a crooked discolored front tooth and all I could think about was how distracting that wouldbe to look at that thing during labor.

    So I didn't have a doula.  And you know what?  I didn't lose my ability to think when I was in labor.  I didn't need to have someone else there.  Now, DD's head was over the 95th percentile, she got stuck, lost oxygen, and I had to have an emergency C section.  No doula could have helped that, my kid just has big brains!

    I think a 3rd person can be helpful for some people, some extra reassurance.  for me, I felt informed enough that I could answer questions for myself, and despite painful contractions, I didn't lose my mind.

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  • I suggest checking out your hospital first.  We didn't use a doula last time for the simple reason that when I went to talk to one about using her services, as soon as she heard where I would be delivering, SHE said, "you don't need me."  Turns out, she was right.  The hospital we were in has amazingly supportive, caring and creative nurses.  They also staff to the levels required to have your nurse really be your nurse.
  • image Janimal:

    I meet with a couple when I was pg with my daughter.  The first one had this sing songy voice and told me that childbirth didn't have to hurt at all.  After I stopped laughing at that I realized she was serious.  I asked how that was possible and she said I needed to go to my happy place.  And that she charged $1200.  I decided my happy place was wherever I was with my $1200 in my own wallet.

    T

    This is hilarious! I would be the same way.
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  • image Estwd2:
    Nope. I'm a FTM, but I think anyone other than my DH will just annoy me.

    This is exactly how I feel! 

    imageimage
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  • I had a doula last time and will this time as well.  Couple of reasons for this:
    -Support before going to the hospital.  No nurse is going to come sit at my house with me :)
    -Continuity of care.  There will be someone there (besides DH) the entire time I am in labor, delivery and recovery

    Those 2 I think are valuable whether or not you're getting an epi.  The rest of my reasons are more natural birth specific.

    ETA:  And last time DH wasn't even with me the entire time because he escorted the baby to the nursery while I was in recovery.  I would have been completely alone if the doula hadn't been there.  Sucky

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  • I also found a doula who is an apprentice- and a massage therapist. i know there is a chance that i will not want to be touched during labor, but I definitely wanted the support and reassurance a doula can provide.  We did interview a doula who was charging 1200... and while some in the NY area might pay that and I'm sure she is more experienced than an apprecentice, I have a really hard time justifying that and with a baby on the way, can't afford that!!!!

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  • I'm a FTM and I am using a doula. Mine is fairly new to the profession so she only charges $400. I am attempting to go natural which is my main reason for having one, but I think I would have hired one regardless. I have lots of anxiety and I want somewhere there who can help me chill out :)
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  • I had one even though I ended up with a planned c/s.  It was a free program though a local graduate school (they were all in a NP program).

    I wanted one because DH annoys the heck out of me when he tries to calm me down and I knew I needed someone else there to calm us both down, if I had actually gone into labor.

    But she ended up just taking pictures for us and telling our families that the baby was here and everything was ok.  I think she was happy to see the c/s process too.

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  • I'm a FTM having an epidural and won't be having a doula. If I was rich I probably would, though!
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  • I'm a first time, planning (hoping) to have an epi and a doula.  Our hospital has a volunteer doula program but it is first-come first-served based on who's available.  We're going to roll the dice and hope for the best!
  • I'm a 2nd time mom, had a doula with DS#1, and will have her with us for DS#2.  Originally we chose to have one because we were attempting an unmedicated birth, but I wound up being induced at 41.5 weeks because my amniotic fluid was low, and I did eventually have an epidural.  HOWEVER, our doula was a godsend because I was in labor for 26 hours and it was nice to have someone with me so that DH could sleep.  He wound up being very well rested when DS was born.  Also, there were a few difficult moments when DH had to take some time for himself to regroup, as it was difficult for him to see me in pain, and it was so important for me to have someone with me while he took care of himself in those moments.  It was totally worth the money.
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  • I thought about it , but I am not having a doula . I like my midwife and feel super confident and positive about how the whole L/B will go down with my medical team and supportive husband . I have also yet to meet a doula ( I have met several through my mom to be groups and one that leads my pre natal yoga class ) that I feel comfortable with . One of my best friends had one and she loved having a doula and it her  really helped  her with her    fear  of giving birth issues and such .

    There is book that doulas/midwives  recommend  that i was recommended ( read some of it but couldn't past all the whoo whoo stuff ) its called Birth from Within. If you feel you need some help communicating  your labor and birth fears it has good some exercises you can do i.e drawing and painting . 

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers BFP ! March 2011 TTC since Jan 2010 Blood work CD 3 -normal Diagnosed with slight case of PCOS Nov 2010 S/A - High count , low morph and mobility Use acupuncture/herbs to regulate cycles
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