2nd Trimester

Need opinions please! :-)

Ok, I just want some opinions from you ladies. My husband and I live 300 miles from our families, and we are just trying to decide if we want to have the baby up here or if we want to try and have the baby down there where all our family members are

We both would really love to have the baby down there because I have had two surgeries down there and it was a lot easier for my husband to have help to take care of me after the surgeries. Plus we really want some of our family members to kind of be a part of things. They also have a lot better medical care down at the hospitals there.

But I worry that it wouldn't be the best idea because it's always hard to tell when the baby will actually decide to show up and my husband would have to figure out how much time to take off work. Plus you never know what could happen and if I ended up having to have a C-section it's going to be extremely uncomfortable traveling 300 miles back home after we have the baby. And not to mention having to pack around the bassinet, and deciding where we would stay.

My biggest concern would be my husband having to try and take the time off work, but I am just trying to get people's opinions on what you think would be better.

So...have the baby up here, or have the baby down with the family. What do you think?

Thanks!

-Bonnie

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Re: Need opinions please! :-)

  • I would have the baby where you live.  300 miles isn't that far, your families can drive up to visit / help you after the baby is born.  IF you want them for the delivery you will most likely have plenty of warning for them.  My family lives 400 miles away and they made it with plenty of time to spare before my DD was born.  I just called when I knew that labor was starting.  I ended up laboring for 30 hours.  They stayed in the waiting room but they were there to greet my DD on the day of her birth.  They only stayed for the weekend (she was born on a Friday) but it was nice having them around.  

    Let your families travel, don't do it yourself. 

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  • Hi Bonnie,

     I would suggest to have the baby at home because 300 miles really isn't too far for family to come and see you right after he or she is born.  Also, you have a doctor you like at home right?  You don't know who will be delivering you and you haven't been meeting regularly with that doctor so it might not be as comfortable for you.  My family is spread all over the east coast and I originally wanted to go to my parent's home to have the baby but now, since I've been seeing a great doctor, will have the baby at home.  Have you spoken to your family about your thoughts?  Maybe get their opinion and make sure they will be there for you.  It might help you feel more comfortable knowing you will have family around when needed.  Traveling after a baby and before adds stress and makes it more difficult to adjust.  

    Just my thoughts!  Hope it helps!

    -Elizabeth

  • Thanks for the thoughts ladies! I have talked with some of my family and a couple of them were already planning on making a trip up here for the baby being born anyway, so I think we will just plan on staying up here. My OB is here and I really like her, and yeah, I will definitely be more comfortable not having to travel.

    Thanks! :-)

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  • for 300 miles I would make them travel. I'm actually flying to my mom's tomorrow and thinking of staying there until the baby comes. They live almost 4,000 miles away so driving would take about 37 hours non-stop, where they live it would take about an hour to get to the airport then a 4 hr flight and then we're an hour from the airport putting them at 6 hours at least to fly. My husband also works a 7 hr drive north of us and is gone for weeks at a time. I'm a little freaked out about going into labour and having no one here and me having to drive 30 minutes to the hospital. (the local one is closing it's maternity ward this month) I loved my OB before and have managed to get in to see her while at my mom's and my mom is ok with me staying with her for 6 months so why not? Instead of DH flying to our house on his days off he can fly to my parents.
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  • Have the baby where you live.  You never know when the baby is going to actually come and it's just not safe to plan on driving 300 miles while you are in labor.  I would also want to know my doctors a bit better than just going to whoever is near your family when you are in labor.  Your family will come to you.

    You got it right with the C-Section, but don't forget that It also hurts quite a bit to sit with a normal delivery as well.  You wouldn't want to be trapped up in a car that long (you will regreat it).  I also didn't know this until I checked out of the hospital with my first, but you aren't supposed to drive yourself for 4-6 weeks after any type of delivery.

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