November 2011 Moms

if your family lives far away, when are they visiting?

Originally my Mom shocked me by saying she wanted to be here for the birth (!!!).

We live in Germany, and my parents are in Massachusetts.

DH and I discussed it, and we really wanted a few days to a week at home, getting used to being new parents. My Mom and I are close, and I know she will be super helpful, etc, but I thought it would be undue stress on us right away.

I am due Nov 21, I told her to come around Dec 1-2, in case I go overdue. Now she says to me today "do you want me to come in January"? This totally surprised me. We were planning on having dh's parents come in early Jan, but hadn't offered it to them yet.

So, WWYD?  Especially BTDT Moms. I was kind of hoping to have her help for when dh goes back to work (I am thinking he will take two weeks off), but I know with the holidays she will want to be home for Christmas...ugggh.

b/w=FSH 15.6, AMH 0.4 surprise natural BFP on 3/12/11
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d

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Re: if your family lives far away, when are they visiting?

  • My parents aren't quite as far away as yours but here's what we're doing:

    We live in MD.  DH's parents are about 3.5 hrs away in PA.  They will be coming down to visit when we're in the hospital.  I'm hoping my parents will do the same, but they are 8 hrs away in MA.  Then everybody leaves and we will be home alone, just the three of us, for 2 weeks.  When DH goes back to work at the end of 2 weeks, my parents are going to come down.  His parents will probably visit again on a weekend (when DH is around) not too long after that.

    This is our first so we're hoping this works out well.

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  • Honestly, I love having help early.  I was exhausted after my c-section last time.  My MIL stayed for a week (slept on a couch) and sometimes would just hold the baby so that DH and I could get a nap in the middle of the day.  She'd do the dishes, make dinner, and do the laundry too.  I've become closer to my MIL since having DS since she is so great with him and helpful to us.  IMO, there will be plenty of time for just the 3 of you and those first few weeks (esp if you are breastfeeding) are the hardest.
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  • My parents are coming for a week or so when LO one is born. They live about 5 hours away from us. As PP mentioned, I thought it would be nice to have her here when he comes home from the hospital incase DH or I  needed a rest, or to help w/laundry, cooking, groceries, etc. DH will probably take a few days off at first, and then after everybody leaves (we are unsure of his parents plans as of right now) he will take a week or so off, around the holidays so we have more "Family" time...

     That is how we have it planned as of right now... 

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  • I want my mom there for the first week after baby comes but obviously have no idea when baby will actually decide to come. My doctor won't induce me until Thanksgiving Day, which is exactly when neither of our families can come due to their own family plans. I just don't want my mom to come too early and not even meet her grandson...just spending her time with a huge, grumpy pregnant lady :) She either can come before Thanksgiving and hope that I go on time or early, or she can maybe miss his birth and come after Thanksgiving, guaranteeing that he is here. What a headache! My MIL is coming the first week of December and staying for a week.
  • I live in Asia and my mom is coming from the states  a few days before or after the birth for several weeks . I am due Nov 18 . All my friends who have had kids overseas can't say enough how helpful it is have their mom around to help. My dh will take a fews days off work after the baby is born then . I am  looking forward to having her here to help with cooking , cleaning , and such. I have been prepared my friends that you are just soo tired ,learning to bf , not sleeping well  and  that you will be super  grateful for the early help esp if its your mom . My  inlaws won't be here till jan 6 . I figured after my mom leaves it will be nice to have 2 weeks to adjust  and get into a routine before my they  come .   
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  • Wow you girls really have a plan.  My parents are planning on coming down for the birth.  That is pretty much all I know. I assume they won't stay long perhaps a week.  DH is planning on taking a couple weeks off and the week between christmas and new years off too.  

    MIL won't be helping at all.  She was pretty sick last year (cancer), and her recovery has been rocky at best.  

    I am pretty much on my own from day one.  YIKES! 

  • My parents are coming from New Zealand to be here in Canada from Nov 6 - 27th, and our EDD is Nov 11. I was hoping they would stall a bit and be here for Christmas because A) they've never had a white Christmas, and B) this will be their last visit here as my Dad is nearly 80 years old, has ill health and it's a long-a$$ trip. All in all, I am just very happy they are visiting, and we'll all be squished into our condo for 3 weeks, but being the nervous person I am, I am completely looking forward to my Mum's help with LO. I know the time with her will be invaluable, and I also know she'll cook like a mad woman and fill my deep freeze with a couple months of yumminess :-)
  • My sister is waiting until 12/4 to fly here from AZ (I'm in Ohio) and I'm due 11/8.  She decided this because that way there's no chance of her getting here and he's born late and she misses him all together and that way he's a little older too rather than a newborn.
     TTC #1 since June 2008
    M/C @ 6 weeks 12/31/2008, Ectopic @ 6 weeks on 4/23/2010
    Diagnosed Unexplained 11/2009-DH is fine-I don't get AF
    Cycle #22 - 1/27/11 - IUI #1 & Injections - BFP! - DS born 11/11/11 
    TTC#2 - 2/24/14 - IUI & Injections - BFP! - EDD 11/29/14
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  • As of right now, everyone will be there when we are birthing (at the hospital).  The plan is that the day of discharge, DH and I will go home with LO alone and spend the night.  My mom and dad will head down early that next morning - they are about 2 hours away.  That way, if we have a horrific night, we know they are coming.  My dad will stay that day and probably leave, and my mom will stay that week to help out.  MIL is going to be able to come whenever, because she lives about an hour away and doesn't have a lot going on. 

    DH is planning about 2 weeks off of work once LO comes, so once he goes back, either my mom will come again or MIL will spend more time there for the help.

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  • DH and I just moved to Michigan this week and both our parents live in California.  My mom works in the school district and was planning on coming out for a week for Thanksgiving, but we talked it over and decided that Christmas would be a better time so she could spend 2 weeks out here.  As of now its just going to be DH and I for the first month and a half.  His parents haven't mentioned anything about coming out and visiting.  Not sure how much time DH will be able to take off work considering he just started his job.  Winter is supposed to be the slow time so were hoping he can just get off early most days.  As of now it looks like it will just be me and LO during the day.  I have friends that are looking to fly out so they can help, but airfare is so expensive, so i'm not really counting on anything.  
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  • image Hilary B:
    DH and I just moved to Michigan this week and both our parents live in California.  My mom works in the school district and was planning on coming out for a week for Thanksgiving, but we talked it over and decided that Christmas would be a better time so she could spend 2 weeks out here.  As of now its just going to be DH and I for the first month and a half.  His parents haven't mentioned anything about coming out and visiting.  Not sure how much time DH will be able to take off work considering he just started his job.  Winter is supposed to be the slow time so were hoping he can just get off early most days.  As of now it looks like it will just be me and LO during the day.  I have friends that are looking to fly out so they can help, but airfare is so expensive, so i'm not really counting on anything.  

     

    Welcome to Michigan! :)

    ILs live only 20 minutes away, so they can visit whenever we feel ready to have them over.  My mom will be flying in about 6 days before my due date, and staying until a few days after he's born. No set dates, as she doesnt work, and is flexible! 

  • image singaporeorchid:
    I live in Asia and my mom is coming from the states  a few days before or after the birth for several weeks . I am due Nov 18 . All my friends who have had kids overseas can't say enough how helpful it is have their mom around to help. My dh will take a fews days off work after the baby is born then . I am  looking forward to having her here to help with cooking , cleaning , and such. I have been prepared my friends that you are just soo tired ,learning to bf , not sleeping well  and  that you will be super  grateful for the early help esp if its your mom .  

    I live in Spain and my parents live in Seattle and that is pretty much what we are doing.   She is coming mid-October to be sure not to miss the birth and will be here until December 2nd (my dad is coming over mid-November for 2 weeks).  We also discussed what her idea of "help" is and I feel pretty confident she'll stick to that -- helping me do household things while I adjust to motherhood, etc. We also discussed her moving to stay with DH's parents or going to a hotel if emotions run high or we think it is starting to get stessful -- that's a worst case scenario, but I felt we had to discuss what would happen if we were driving each other batty.

    I honestly couldn't imagine not having my mother here for the birth and here to help us out that first week even though my DH gets two weeks paternity leave.  

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  • My family lives in South Carolina and because my father is deathly afraid of flying, they are going to drive up to Wisconsin to see us for Christmas (i'm due Nov 17th). I'm actually really excited for it because usually we go to my parents house one year and stay here with my in laws the next, and now the baby will have the whole family here for his first christmas! they will stay for the week between christmas and new years. I can't wait!
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