3rd Trimester

I feel like everyone will see the baby before me!!!

I'm having a scheduled C Section, and I have these thoughts that when I go to recovery, and dh goes to wherever they take the baby (to make sure everything is okay with him/her) all of our family will be getting to hold the baby before me while i'm in the lonely recovery area.  I know every hospital is different, but that won't happen right?
I have the weirdest things on my mind now!!!  LOL!

Re: I feel like everyone will see the baby before me!!!

  • as long as you are awake and there is nothing wrong with your baby you will see the baby right away.
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  • I felt that way with my first who ended up being an emergency c-section.  We solved that problem by not allowing family to come to the hospital until after I was in a room.  That way I get my quick peek during delivery and daddy spends time with the baby during all that check up stuff...but baby is safe in my arms before other family come.  That way I get to share in their joy as well.  My mom was in the hospital lobby the whole time with my second.  When you've waited 9 months what a few more hours!  Best of luck!
  • Generally you'll all be together and then decide when family can come back.  But I definitely told my husband that under no circumstances was that baby to be shown to/held by anyone other than me first.  You need to tell yours the same.
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  • Mine is scheduled for tomorrow too, and I've already told everyone that no one needs to be at the hospital but DH. Then he'll go to MIL's and pick up DS to bring him back to meet DD. After a few hours of family time then we might be up for visitors. I've got a "we'll call you" policy. No need for anyone to be at the hospital right away at all. :) 
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  • Talk to your DH and tell him what you want, that you don't want any other family members to see the baby before you get the chance. I am almost in the same situation. I want my other children to see the twins before other family members (besides my mom she will have my children). I told DH that I did not want anyone waiting at the hospital. They needed to wait at home for the phone call to come and see the babies. I hope it works.


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  • No you will get to see the baby right away, you wont get to hold LO until you get back to the room, as long as everything is uneventful.

    You can ask that family and friends wait in the waiting room, until you and your DH get to spend a little time with LO. 

    With my C-section, they assessed her in the OR I could look over and see everything they were doing, then they cut H's gown and did skin to skin with him for about 10mins, then he wheeled her back to our room.  Only my mom was there, so she got to hold her before me but that was only because I had an emergency C-section, if I had the time to plan I would have had her wait in the waiting room also. I didn't go to a recovery area afterwards either- it took about 45mins for them to close me up and I was wheeled right to the room with my LO, so I got to hold her and cuddle her as soon as I got back. 

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  • In our hospital there is a warming bed in the OR thats in the maternity ward-- so unless the baby needs NICU care it stays in the room with you. The only person allowed with you and baby during recovery time is 1-2 support people (same ones who were allowed in OR). After 3 hours in the recovery room (which is also the labor suite if you dont have a csection) you are escorted up to the women's center where you'll spend the remainder of your hospital stay, and is the area where the actual nursery is located. At this time (3-4 hours after delivery) baby is finally taken out of your sight for first bath-ect.

    Discuss your fears with your doctor...they've heard them all before. My biggest fear was that I'd hear noises if they went in for a c-section like the cutting ect--she said "if it scares you, bring an Ipod and ear buds...we'll give your hubby a heads up to take them out so you can hear the first cries"

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  • i already told my DH that if i do end up having a c-section, i don't want any family members holding her until i get to. i really hate the idea of both our families getting to hold her and coo at her while i'm stuck on a table getting sewn back up, wondering how my new baby is doing. thank god he completely agrees with me, now we just have to tell our families (it'll be oh-so much fun haha)
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  • My DH and I have had this conversation. I've been worried about it for a few weeks too, well since we scheduled. We'll be sure to tell the nurses who are with us for this that no one is to hold her until I do. I know he will once she is born, Idk how mobile I'll be after I'm done in surgery but our immediate family will all be there. I'll also have a conversation with them before I go in.

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  • I had an emergency c section and my husband left with my son while I was in recovery. I felt the same way! I spent about 15 minutes with him in the OR before my husband and DS left. I remember at the time just being relieved that he was doing well and the doctor sending the NICU team away because he was thriving at birth:-) our family just saw him get bathed, weighed, and measured while he was in the nursery but they didn't actually have hands on contact with him. Even our nurse was telling our family that I should hold him 1st before the rest of the family got their mitts on him:-) they brought him to me once I got out of recovery and I spent the rest of the night cuddling him.
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  • image elmoali:
    Generally you'll all be together and then decide when family can come back.  But I definitely told my husband that under no circumstances was that baby to be shown to/held by anyone other than me first.  You need to tell yours the same.

    This.  I'm having the same thoughts as you are, and discussed this with my husband just the other night.  No way am I going to be the sixteenth person to hold my own child!

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  • I'm interested to see what kinds of responses you get to this. I have the same fear. I hate the idea that when you have a c-section someone holds the baby up so that you can see him or her, but you can't really hold them right away in most cases. The idea that it could be hours instead of seconds before you can hold your baby freaks me out. 

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  • Let your husband know your feelings and that you would like family to wait to visit until you have seen your LO. Good luck.
  • I had an unplanned c-section with DS. The one good thing about it was that they did not bring the baby to the nursery, instead I got to hold him on the way to the recovery room. It was completely unexpected on my part; DH left to go meet me in the room, and then they unceremoniously dumped my little fella on me (the staff wasn't that great).

    So maybe you can ask if they even have to bring LO to the nursery? If not, I'd echo everyone else, and either don't have any family show up until after the birth, or make your wishes known.

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  • I got to hold both girls out of the OR and into the Recovery Room. Also, no family but DH was at the hospital, so i got to hold them second after him.
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  • I got to hold DD out of the OR after my unplanned c-section. Once she was out they held her up for me to see and did all of the weight, measurements and cleaning right next to me and then DH held her as they finished stitching me up. Once they were done I got to hold her out of the OR all the way to the recovery room. 
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  • I had a CS with DD. I got to hold her for a min or so before she went with DH to the nursery while I was finished and sent to recovery. DH was the only person to hold her. I had told my family I didn't want everybody to hold her before me. So they saw her through the glass in the nursery and took pictures then they went home. (I had DD at 10:30pm) and they came back the next morning to visit. 
  • Umm yeah that happened to me. Sorry to say but it did. I think it was more the result of having an unplanned c-section though, so I think a planned one will go much more smoothly.

    What happened to me was I had a c-section after 36 hours of labor and 3.5 hours of pushing. When I finally had the c-section I had a reaction the medication that made me get the shakes, I ended up with back spasms from pushing so hard. I was in a ton of pain. Basically they held up the baby and I saw him while I was shaking, barley, then I went to recovery and they gave me morphine because I was crying from the pain of the spasms. That knocked me out for a good 2 hours and my entire family met the baby and took photos while I was sleeping. They all left and finally the nurse woke me up to try to nurse. I was upset at the time, but kind of too out of it to realize, when I saw all the photos later I was VERY upset.

    I was actually kind of emotionally traumatized by the entire experience.This time I am having a scheduled c-section and I am not inviting anyone to come to the hospital until a few hours later in the day so I can have time alone with the baby and DH. If you know you are having a c-section I think this is not a bad idea, either that or tell your family that your DH won't bring the baby out right away and they will need to meet you in your room after recovery if they want to see your LO.

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  • I had an emergency c/s. I didn't see him until about 5 min after he was born. DH went right over to him to make sure he was ok and then I got to kiss him/talk to him. After I was stapled they moved me into recovery and I held him the entire time and it was just the 3 of us alone (with a nurse checking in on me every few min) for an hour then we were wheeled into our room where my family was waiting for us.  I cannot imagine a situation where the family saw the baby before the mom. You can always mention your concerns with the delivery team ahead of time, and your DH. I would think your family wouldn't want to see your LO  before you, I would feel very awkward if that happened.

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  • I had a scheduled c-section with DS.  He stayed with me the whole time.  DH and I both got to hold him while they were finishing the c-section, then DH went to recovery to change and I got to hold DS as they moved me to recovery.  The only time for the whole hospital stay that DS left our sight was for his circ.
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  • I had a scheduled c/s with DS and Dh was the only person to hold him before me. I was only in recovery for about 45 mins, my whole family was there watching through the glass while they weighed him, gave him a bath and did all that stuff. I was then brought to our room and they brought DS in right behind me. All you have to do is tell the staff what you want to do. Good luck, my c/s is on Tuesday!! 
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  • With my first c/s, I saw my DD and had photo or two taken with the three of us before I was finished and moved to recovery.  My DD stayed with my DH during everything and was given to me in recovery.  I was really loopy and sick in recovery and they keep letting visitors in to see me and baby.  DH held the baby becuase I was not yet up to it.  My arms were tied down so I could not hold DD until recovery.

    With my second c/s, they are telling me that I will see DS and have photos taken.  Then DH will stay with baby and go to nursery to be checked over. My arms will again be tied down so I will not hold him until I return to my room. I will be taken to recovery for about 2 hours.  Then I will be taken to my room and DH will bring DS to the room with me.  Then I can hold him and feed him.

    Last time I had early visitors and it was a bit too much.  This time I will be allowed to recover and then hold the baby.  Both ways are fine to me but both times, I see the baby first. 

    I am totally fine with family seeing the baby in the nursery.  He will be their baby too and I am happy to share.  I am blessed everyone is excited.

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  • I had an emergency C-sec under general anesthesia with my DS1.  I woke up a groggy mess to my MIL (who I barely tolerate) telling me what a beautiful baby I had & how she had got to see him & hold him first!  B!tch!  I can tell you that had me in tears for months to come! 

    I met my baby for the 1st time & learnt to nurse with my bed surrounded by in-laws!  It was horrible & my DH refused to do anything about it!

    I am hoping for a VBAC this time & if all goes well will avoid anything like before happening.  But I am prepared & if I need another gen anesthesia op again, I have told DH that the sh!t will hit the fan if anyone (aside from medical personnel) sees my baby before I do.  I also told MIL how hurt I was last time & that she needs to keep away until I have met my child.  I don't care if I hurt feelings or not, it is nothing compared to what I went through last time around!

  • That actually happened to me. I wouldn't worry though bc my circumstances just really sucked. It was an emergency csec after a long labor. For some reason they couldn't get the spinal in so I had general anesthesia. DS had a heart defect so was taken to NICU right after birth. While I was still out and getting patched up, DH got to see DS and take pix. ILs and my mother were waiting in the hallway so they got to see him on way to NICU. Hours later I was in recovery room and have only seen pix of him. Then I was on morphine drip for 24 hrs and DS was in NICU on diff floor. My bff came to visit me along with my parents and ILs and everyone went down to see DS. I got to see him like a full 24 hrs after birth. They let me bf 36 hrs after birth. This is a worst case scenario though so I'm sure you'll be fine. A

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  • My first ended up an emergency c-section and I had to be knocked out right after delivery due to hemorrhaging. Even though my mother and friends were there and very eager, my husband refused to let anyone hold him before I got to. With my 2nd baby, since it was a planned c-section, I made a special request to actually see the delivery. Once they had me cut open and ready they dropped the sheet and elevated the head of the table and I got to watch them pull him out. ASK you Dr if they can do this!! Many will try to do what they can. I was so disappointed I didn't get to see my 1st one delivered and the 2nd time was so wonderful. The baby also stayed with me in recovery until I was moved to a room. He got his first bath in there and his bassinet was right next to me and I was able to hold him and bond with him (and my husband was with me the whole time too). I have #3 on the way now and even though I know I'll have to have another c-section, I know it will be wonderful getting to witness her birth and have that special time with her before any other family gets to see her.
  • I had a C section.  DD was given to DH and he brought her to me so I got to give her kisses while I was sewn up.  DH stayed with her as I was wheeled to recovery, and we met up there where DD was cleaned and bathed right next to my gurney.  As soon as she was clean, I had her on my boob, right there in recovery, and I hadn't even gotten the feeling back in my legs yet!

    At the hospital, they don't want to separate you from your baby.  And your family does not get to leave the waiting room to see the baby without your consent, so make sure your DH knows that.

    Talk to your OB about your concerns and I bet they can put your mind at ease about this and how it works at your hospital.

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  • I feel the exact same way.  I'm having a C-section at 36 weeks for my twins and I'm affraid that they will be in the NICU and I won't get to see them at all for awhile.  If they are healthy, my husband and I have discussed telling the family that we will call them after I get at least an hour of bonding time with them.  I live close enough to the hospital that we are going to have them all wait at the house until we are ready for other people to meet them.
  • I understand the fear of being "left behind" in the operation.  I've had 2 c-sections (with another scheduled for Spring 2012 for my 3rd child) and they can be sweet.

    Sweet story: right after my daughter was born (2nd c-section) she was crying loudly.  I watched as they cleaned her off quickly, wrapped her up and then they put her on my chest as they finished the stitching.  She was so close to my face and when she heard my voice, instantly stopped crying and was at peace.  The anesthesiologist took the sweetest photo of the 3 of us in the operating room.  It's a wonderful memory I'll treasure. 

    We asked family to come to the hospital the morning after surgery since everyone is "recovering"--including the baby.  That way your husband/partner and you can enjoy the time with the 3 of you right away, get some rest & then be ready for visitors.  (The drugs make you a little out of it anyway.)

    Good luck! 

  • I just saw this even though you may have written it ages ago. That happened to me too! I was so sad. I saw my son for probably 10 seconds and then not again for hours. I was so dopey on morphine that I don't remember holding him, but I do have a picture of it. 

    This time it's scheduled. I'm hoping it will be MUCH better! Hoping yours was/is too! 

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