September 2011 Moms

visitors post c/s (sorry if this topic is overdone)

Since we know when the c/s is scheduled for, we figured we could ask family to wait to visit us at the hospital until a certain time. I imagine the c/s will take just under an hour, then we have our "miracle hour" (just the 3 of us) and at some point we'll be transferred from recovery to postpartum. So we figured we'd ask family to visit about 2.5-3 hours after the c/s is scheduled. We also thought we'd want to only see immediate family that first day.

My mom called wanting to know specifics and said she'd probably wait in the waiting room anyways. While we're trying to prevent family from sitting around for hours and being bored, I guess since I won't see her waiting around I won't feel bad about taking the time we decided we wanted to spend just the three of us. Is that insensitive still? Should we let family see us immediately following the c/s then wait in the waiting room during our "miracle hour?"

Part of me feels like I'm not going to want to see anyone for a few hours anyways. And at that point, only immediate family. An aunt and one of DH's friends have already said they're stopping by the evening of the c/s. Obviously we can be more direct and tell them not to, but I'm wondering if I'm overreacting and it'll be fine seeing people so soon after surgery. 

What are your plans for visitors post c/s?

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker

Re: visitors post c/s (sorry if this topic is overdone)

  • I dont plan on having a c/s..... but I cant blame you for wanting to wait a few hours. When my daughter was born we were BOMBARDED with visitors the entire time. Did not like. I hardly got ANY rest. 

    I say immediate family can visit the day OF your LO being born, and then friends/other family come visit maybe the 2nd day..... or after.  

    Rylan was born on September 6th! 8lbs 13oz 20in
  • Our families are out of state, so when they visit they'll be here for a while (and we'll have to "entertain" them).  We've asked them to give us about a week before coming down to get used to having a baby.

    I only say this because we won't have to worry about family visiting us.  I have several friends who have said they'd like to come to the hospital.  My c/s is at 2pm and I'm going to ask them to wait until the next day.  I don't know how I'll feel right after and I'd hate to have visitors and feel like crap.  Of course, I may feel like crap the 2nd day too, but that's my plan so far. 


    Best Running Accomplishment

    Pacers Running Festival Half Marathon

  • I have a 7:45 surgery time scheduled.  If they are running on time I figure I'll be out of recovery by 10:00 at the latest.  We are having the ILs bring DD to the hospital so that she can meet the new baby first and we can have some time with just the 4 of us.  Then the ILs will come back for a little bit.  My parents will come after they get out of work, sometime around 3:30/4:00.  It's very important to us that we have some alone time with just the new baby and with DD.  We have made this very clear to our families and they are ok with it.

    Be very clear about what you want.  Everyone should really respect your wishes during this time. 

    DD1: 3/31/10 DD2: 9/7/11
  • I think you should decide what you really want and be very direct with them. And don't feel guilty if they don't listen and are stuck waiting for hours.

    Also, I'm not planning a C/S, but is 2-3 hours enough time? I'd like more time than that for a vaginal birth and I don't need to wait for the drugs to wear off. I have no idea how long that takes or if you are awake and with it the whole time.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • My parents (or at least my mom) will be keeping DS1 at home. We will call her and tell her when we're ready for them to come see us. Our family lives far enough away that they won't be trying to visit us in the hospital, they will wait until we're home. But, they also live close enough to make it a day trip and not have to stay with us overnight. :) Only my mom will be staying overnight to help with DS1 while DH is at work, since I won't be able to pick him up after the c/s.

    I think we will ask our friends to wait until the second day if they want to come visit us in the hospital. We had just a few stop in after DS1 was born. It was totally manageable, and they were all very respectful of our need to recover. Most people waited until we were home. They made up a schedule to bring us dinner for 2 weeks, so everyone was able to see the new baby before we were out and about, and we didn't have to cook!

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • IMO, if people want to sit around in the waiting area, that's their thing. If I've already told them that they won't be able to see me/baby for a few hours after, and they're well aware of it, and they STILL want to be around, well, that's their thing too. In my mind, I've done all I can to tell them all they'll be doing is waiting around.

    It sounds like you've already told everyone what's going to be happening. If they still want to wait around, you shouldn't feel bad for them waiting. Your plan sounds good, and you shouldn't change it or feel bad about it, especially since you've made your mom aware.

    I've got the same issue with my IL's. I've already told them that they won't see the baby or me for about three hours after birth, but they still insist on waiting around, so I've done all I can!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • I'm not sure what we're going to do.  I had one last time and this is what happened.

    I had an unplanned section on a Friday, DS was born at 4:58.  I had called my parents right before they took me in.  So they got there as they were bringing DS in to be bathed and weighed and measured.  Then I think my IL's came while I was back in the L+D room.  I called my BFF and told her to come.  She came with her husband.  And her sister came too, I'm close to her as well.  It was slightly overwhelming.  Esp. since I was kind of out of it.  I wanted to try to breastfeed.  So everyone left the room.  Then they came back and said bye to me and helped carry stuff to my recovery room. 

    This time I'm having a scheduled section at Noon on a Tues.  So people will still be working and my inlaws will be watching DS.  Our hospital does a thing now where they keep the baby with the mom while they're stitching up.  So baby will be in the operating room with us for at least another 40 minutes.  I can try to breastfeed during that time as well. 

    My parent's will probably come around 4 or 4:30 when they're both out of work.  DH's aunt is coming from Florida that day.  So I'm assuming she's coming that day.  And my BFF.  But that will probably be it.  And of course it will depend on how I'm feeling.  It should be easier since I think the visitors will be more staggered then they were last time.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • THANK YOU everyone! This helped me feel better about our "plan." :)
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
  • Ours is scheduled for a Friday afternoon (1:00)... It's a just in case I don't go into labor on my own c-section so I'm really hoping it doesn't come down to that.

    I remember after my c-section with DD I was starving (and will definitely be starving this time since I'm not allowed to eat after midnight the night before--with her it was an emergency c-section and I ate that day but threw everything up during the surgery). DH and I haven't really discussed it because we've still been hopeful that we will go into labor before then but since it's now only 2 and a half weeks away I guess it's time we discuss all of this.

    I really don't remember how long the surgery was and how long I was in recovery. It felt like an eternity but it may have only been an hour or two. I know it was not even 5:00 when I went in, the baby was out before 5:30 (it was August so still way light out) and by the time I got into my room it was dark out



    IAmPregnant Ticker
  • Ours is scheduled for 8am on a Friday.  Both sets of our parents plan to arrive at the hospital at 8am so they are there to hear that me and baby are ok.  DH and I will have our time in the recovery room, then once I am put into our regular room, the grandparents are welcomed in.  Both of our fathers are in poor health, I think both moms will take them home not much later than 1 or 2pm.  I expect they'll come to visit each day we're in the hospital after for a little while. (Both families are an hour or two away and planning on staying in hotels that weekend).  That's what THEY want to do, and I am fine with it.

    The only other visitors the day of the C will be my sister and niece (doubt her dh will come with), and they will come around dinner time as my sister has to work that day.

    Now, the rest of the weekend is another story.  I am delivering in the small town in which I teach (not where we live). Already, of the 10 or so L&D nurses I have met, 7 are mothers of students of mine.  They've already warned me that once word leaks out that I'm there, I'll have students and families trying to come visit.  I already know that my coworkers will probably storm the place.  I plan on using the nurses as bouncers, depending upon how I am feeling.  It's really strange how a small town works.

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    <<img src="" />>

    Allison born September 2011

    M/C 8/09 6w5d

    Clomid/IUI 8/10

    M/C 10/10 8w2d

  • If this one goes just like with DS then I will have my c/s at 7:30am and be out of recovery within 45 mins. My family was in the room waiting for me, I didn't mind it at all. It's up to you when you want people in to visit.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I just wanted to chime in with my experience (sorry if this is repetitive, I didn't read all the replies).

    I had a sort of scheduled c section.  I was supposed to go in at noon, then 1, and finally ended up going in around 1:30ish to get prepped.  Just keep in mind that if you have a c section a lot of times you'll get bumped if someone else comes in with a more pressing need.

    My daughter was born at 2:14 and we didn't even get into recovery until well over an hour later.  DH was able to text our parents who were in the waiting room about 90 minutes after she was born.  Originally we planned on not having anyone there, but we kind of had to roll with it because we had absolutely no idea we'd be having a baby that day.

    I was left in recovery for another ~90 minutes while DH and the baby went to the nursery.  I want to say it was maybe around 5ish by the time I got to my room.  

    I thought I wouldn't want anyone there when I came out of recovery but it was nice to see family and show off our baby.  I will say that the next day after my c section I felt pretty crummy.  I was in pain and I was also a mess in terms of emotions.  I had a lot of visitors that day (friends and family) and I felt incredibly overwhelmed.  

    My only advice I can really offer is don't be afraid to kick people out.  A c section is major surgery and if you want time to yourself, even if it goes against what you originally told people, don't be afraid to speak your mind.

    bumping from my phone. please pardon any typos and missing punctuation
  • When I had ds, he was taken to the nursery immediately and I had to go to recovery, and I was there until the epi wore off enough to move my legs, so it was at least an hour I think.  I was alone pretty much that whole time.  I obviously wanted dh to stay with ds, but I would have liked my mom to come keep me company at that point.

    If you're sure you get to see your LO right after he's born before you go to recovery, then I think it's a great idea to have your family wait and I wouldn't feel bad about it at all.  

    This time around, my mom will be at home with ds, and we're not having her or dh's parents come to the hospital until he wakes from his nap in the afternoon, and then we do want some time with just him, then we'll see all of them, and then they will all take him home.  

    I hated having people at the hospital all day last time, so we're limiting the visits this time.

    imageImage and video hosting by TinyPicBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • We told my mom something similar, and she immediately had the same response of waiting in the waiting room. It aggravated me because she is clearly no respecting what I just said. Good news is that my c/s is at 7:30. DS needs to be on the bus at 8:00, so she will not be waiting in the waiting room. Better news is that DH will be allowed to stay for the entirety of my c/s. He will be given the baby, and we will all be transferred to recovery, which also happens to be the room I will stay in for my entire stay. They serve as labor, delivery, recovery, and post partum. They said it would be 1-2 hours before anyone would be allowed back, so I told my mom to stay at my house until after lunch. Problem solved. I worried about her trying to hold the baby before me, but since the baby isn't taken to the nursery, I don't have any reason to worry. My mom cannot even get on the ward without being buzzed in, so that's even better, lol.
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • I am not having a c/s...but if i were, i would tell them that the c/s is scheduled for 3pm (when it is really 1pm). I know its wrong to lie, but when you have an overbearing family that ignores your wishes (like alot of my family members), it is just easier to tell them that, and if they ask just say oh it got moved up or whatever. That way i dont have to deal with them trying to barge in on us.

    And if they decide to sit around while you are having a c/s KNOWING that you want a "miracle hour" then let them sit. You were very honest with them, and they cant expect you to cater to them right after having a baby. I wouldnt feel bad at all.

    Anniversary Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards