September 2011 Moms

Facebook and my mom

So I know I'm making a big deal out of nothing but I'm so hormonal right now and I just want to vent. I'm also going to say my mom is amazing and I love her she just irritates me and doesn't always listen to me.

During my pregnancy my mom has posted everything before I could. Every u/s picture(as if anyone wants to see 10+ u/s pics), my baby shower photos and nursery photos. But the time I get to post anything my family has already seen it all so it's not special for me. I would like to be able to share something with my family before she does. Yesterday I let my mom know that I didn't really like that she kept posting stuff before I got to that I wanted to be able to share some stuff first. I also said that I didn't want any photos of DD being sent out or published on FB after she is born until I had gotten a chance to share. She laughed at me and said how are you going to stop us. I know I'm going to have to bring this up with her again because I really don't want pictures out there before I want them. Also DH has made it very clear that he doesn't want other people posting a lot of pictures of her on the internet. He believes that there is no way to know who actually has their page private or who lets everyone see their photos. He really doesn't want complete strangers to see hundreds of photos of her.

How do you feel about photos of you LO on the internet? 

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Re: Facebook and my mom

  • Mine and my DH profiles are private, as well as my parents. I haven't had this issue with them but the comment they made about "how are you going to stop us" really set me off. I'm currently dealing with bs from my MIL so anything like this is frustrating. I don't really have a problem with it, to a point. I know I'll post, I know a few friends who will but I think their pages are private as well. MIL barely knows how to use a computer so I'm not too worried about her.
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  • I totally see where you are coming from. My mom doesn't necessarily post things/pics before I can (except for once) but she will re-post everything. I know she is just very excited and loves to share this stuff with her friends, etc. I know she wouldn't laugh if I asked her not to though and I would be very upset about that.

    We don't want a ton of pics of our son all over FB either, only what we chose to share. I know this will be near impossible to control with the way FB works and not only my mom, but my SIL's post pic after pic and have 1,000's of friends (90% of which they don't even know at all, they are young and that's just how FB is for them). I am going to say something to my mom and ask DH to say something to his little sisters. 

    I think maybe bring it up one more time and tell her it is really important to you and hope that she can respect that. 

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  • Tell your mom that you won't let her see the baby until after you get to share it on facebook and see how see reacts!  Maybe then, she will reconsider her stance on ignoring your wishes.

    Or, refuse to let her take any pictures.  If she won't comply with your wishes, then you have to be drastic.  I don't want anyone to post anything or share photos without my immediate family first being able to see our LO in person. 

  • Honestly I don't even think she would go against my wishes and post. I just really didn't like her response when I asked her not to. I'm going to talk to my sister she will be good at making sure no photos are shared until we are able to share with immediate family. Especially DH family who wont be able to come to the hospital because DH grandpa is in bad health.

    My whole family posts lots of pictures of all the little kids. So I don't really care if family share photos with each other on FB. I do plan on making sure my moms page is private since she likes to over share.If DH still doesn't want photos on there after she is here then I will talk to family.

    Glad i'm not the only one thinking about this before LO is even here. I just figured I was being way over hormonal and silly.

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  • Its not just you.  I'm shocked your mom had that response - that sucks if thats her real attitude about it!  I recently sent an email out to our immediate families just so they all know what my expectations are.  (I also think we should be the first people ot announce baby's arrival and put up the first photo)  I think as long as we make our wishes known, our families will expect it.  As far as family puttin up pictures I know I will put up some photos on facebook (I won't do monthly albums or anything) so I will just have to ask our families to make sure they have their profiles marked privately for photos as well. 

    Two little miracles made possible by the gift of life - Be an organ donor - Always thankful 


     
  • Lesson of the day: parents should NOT be on Facebook.  
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  • image ar78:
    Lesson of the day: parents should NOT be on Facebook.  

    Yes  My sister and I have been saying this since the day she got on. She now has it on her phone so she can be on 24/7.

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  • image KellieD6708:

    image ar78:
    Lesson of the day: parents should NOT be on Facebook.  

    Yes  My sister and I have been saying this since the day she got on. She now has it on her phone so she can be on 24/7.

    OMG yes.  When my mom and I were still talking (long story), she went through a long phase where she'd send me random FB gifts that I stopped accepting.  Seriously, you can only have so many Irish tattoos or virtual cupcakes on your wall.  But then she was like, where's the cupcake I sent you?  Where's the tattoo I sent? And legit...her feelings would be HURT if I didn't do it.  

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  • image ar78:
    image KellieD6708:

    image ar78:
    Lesson of the day: parents should NOT be on Facebook.  

    Yes  My sister and I have been saying this since the day she got on. She now has it on her phone so she can be on 24/7.

    OMG yes.  When my mom and I were still talking (long story), she went through a long phase where she'd send me random FB gifts that I stopped accepting.  Seriously, you can only have so many Irish tattoos or virtual cupcakes on your wall.  But then she was like, where's the cupcake I sent you?  Where's the tattoo I sent? And legit...her feelings would be HURT if I didn't do it.  

    Now that's ridiculous!

    My mom feels she needs to comment on every status updates that we (her kids) post.  She then will post tons of political crap or whine about something stupid.  I like when she gets mad at facebook and deactivates for a while.  The last time she deactivated was when we hit Osama's bunker...she said she didn't like that people were posting videoes or something.

  • If that was said to me I wouldn't allow anyone to take pictures of the baby, period. She needs to respect your wishes.
    ~ Josh & Jill, married 5/2/09 ~
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  • Seriously, I can't believe she said that to you.  I think you should do one of two things (note that I would never have the guts to do either to my mom, but she would never disrespect me or my wishes like that):

    1. Tell her she can see baby when the bouncer posted at your door has screened her to ensure no cameras, cell phones, video cams, or other recording equipment of any kind have entered the room.

    or

    2.  Keep her out of the delivery room, and after spending time with DH and LO alone, announce the birth to the world myself.  Let her find out about LO's birth via FB from the waiting room.  Bonus points for first time seeing the baby being through a posted photo.

     

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