Mommy guilt kicked in again...

beedale862003

I had it after we got pregnant but I got it again last night, I'm so excited to have DS2 but DS1 is so content in his little world that I feel guilty.  We decided to have our children close together for their benefit so I know this is what we want but I just feel like poor DS.  Its ALL about him right now, he has my constant attention as well as my husband and my parents, and soon he is going to have to share the spot light.  My mom doesn't help because every time we even talk about DS2 she talks about how hard its going to be for DS1.  "Poor Wyatt when he has to leave you at the hospital", "poor Wyatt when your having to feed Evan", etc.

Okay vent over, thanks for listening! 

batuki

I'm in exactly the same boat. I cried while putting DD down for nap yesterday

 

Janimal

I hear ya.

But as a kid without parents, I absolutey treasure that I have siblings.  So I focus on that.  I could be satisfied as just DD's mother, but I want her to have a sibling.  I don't want her to be alone when she has "older" parents, or when we are gone.  There is no guarantee they will be close, but at least they will have a connection. 

It does make me sad that this will rock her world.  I just pray she will love and adore our DS!

lindylogana

As baby gets closer and closer to getting here the mommy guilt is setting in more and more.  I don't want to rock my baby girl's world.  I plan on taking just her with me for small errands and whatnot for some "mommy and Mikayla" time.  Who knows maybe she'll adjust better than I think that she will.

kattyleigh

Lurking...I just had #2 two months ago and my LOs are 18 months apart. The mommy guilt hit really hard for me when he was born. I felt so overwhelmingly sad that I had ruined DD's life. She regressed in sleep for a few days when we came home from the hospital (usually a 12 hour sleeper, thank God!) but other than that, SHE ABSOLUTELY LOVES HIM. Then I realized that I was feeling so sad and guilty for no reason. Now, she asks for him first thing every morning when I get her from her crib, kisses him all the time, "offers" him her snacks and sippy, literally dances with him by holding his hands, gives him high fives, I could go on! She loves her personal real-life baby doll. Yes, there are a few rough moments here and there, like when she wants to sit on my lap and I'm breastfeeding, but mostly, she just can't get enough. Good luck!

varkeyr

Your kids will take their cues from you. If you feel guilty, then they will regress and act out. If you make them feel like they are important because they now have the role of older sibling they will step up to be the big brother/sister.

My husband and I never felt guilty for having another child. Instead we prepared  our children for their new role and what it meant having a baby in the house.