I would like to introduce myself as a newbie here. People call me T. , and I wanted to share my story.
it started back in 2006 when I got married. Hubby and I tried for 4 years to get pregnant. We never even thought to look into a specialist for help until 4 years later. Our first round of IUI protocol did not produce a lot of follicles. The second round of IUI we used more meds, dosage wise, and received a wholeee bunch. AFter the second IUI I was pregnant with 5 babies!! the docs were even surprised at such a response. I guess that doesn't happen all too often with quins.
3 of our lil ones weren't doing so well and I miscarried 3 fetus after having some genetic tests performed. TMI, (sorry) two ended up being expelled from my body. So there I was left with 2 lil babies, a boy and girl thriving for about 22 weeks. Somewhere around that time my peri did an u/s and saw that my fluid was almost gone on my lil girl. The doctors that saw me on that particular day (I saw a ton of docs re this), were horrible in the way they reacted to it and how they explained they pretty much couldn't do anything , to go home and see what happens. There is a grey area between doctors when it comes to when a baby is "viable". 24 weeks is the legal time. Some doctors won't even try to help the babies if you go into labor before 24 weeks. The doctor that I liked and was most comfortable with was on my side, said he would do anything he could to try and save my babies. he was on MY side.
so the day the nasty doc gave me the horrible news and told me to go home, I ended up taking myself to the emergency L&D that evening where they immediately admitted. Some docs after a couple days wanted to kick me out b/c they couldnt do anything, but my real doc fought for me to stay in the hospital just in case.
To back track even a few weeks before all this happened, maybe even a month, I was spotting, bleeding, etc and it wouldn't stop. it happened to be old blood from the babies that passed. so I had huge clots coming out all the time. I saw quite a few doctors and they all told me not to worry the babies looked fine at that time. I had ultrasounds every week and my babies were kicking away and heartbeats were great!
so back to around the 22 weeks. or a little before when I went to the emergency room, I was admitted and was in the hospital for exactly 7 days when in the middle of the night I passed an enormous clot and they told me I was having contractions. off to L&D I went. About 12 hours after the most excruiating contractions ever, front and back puking during it all, I gave birth to my daughter and son, both weighing less than a pound. 23 w 4 days. They were wisked away immediately into the hands of the NICU docs. My daughter wasn't breathing when she came out. it took them 10 mins to revive her. We were counseled before I went into labor about what could happen, what illnesses they could have and complications etc. They were both beautiful.
So I was in the hospital for another 3 days going back and forth to the NICU,Watching my children fight for their life. My son Tony Jr fought his heart out for 16 days, and my daughter Angelina Rose for 26 days. Theiry lungs were the worst, and just wouldn't develop, and they had many other illnesses that come with being a micro preemie.
so that is pretty much my story. it's been 9 months since they turned into angels. Since I have had 1 IUI with no meds, and I have had 2 rounds of IVF since march. It pains me to read some of the posts and read about what other woman have to go through. It's not fair. It shouldn't be this hard to start a family. I feel for all woman that have to go through this. My heart goes out to everyone!
unfortunately, this is the way the world turns these days, and do what we have to do to achieve our dreams. I will do whatever it takes to become a mom again. My babies were so amazing. They were perfectly formed and just tiny little people. I am blessed that I got to meet them. I miss them every day, and not a day goes by where I dont think about them. I cannot believe this type of thing happens every day and the pain that we all go through.
So that is the basis of my story. I know there are things I forgot, but you get the gist.
I hope everyone has found ways to live life and hold true the memory of their babies in some form or another. Bless your hearts little angel babies.
thanks for listening, I would like to hear about others' experiences, losses and triumphs. I hope there is some good news out there somewhere.