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My DH would rather have me at work and send DS to his mother. I have worked very hard in my career and have always wanted to be a SAHM. DH begrudgingly accepts it for now.
How does your H feel about it?
DH wants me to SAH for as long as I want to. We have had many discussions, and he thanks me often for staying home to take care of our boys and managing our household.
I also reciprocate the thanks for supporting us financially and continuing his education to advance his career.
It's a very mutually beneficial agreement. He's not comfortable with anyone else watching our sons, and I enjoy it.
I feel ya on the MIL thing. If my MIL were still living in our city, DH would want us to take advantage of the free childcare, at least for me to work part time. Free and his mom are two of his favorite things.
But, she moved.
DH goes back and forth with it all. Sometimes he wants me to be working and other times (most of the time) he's glad I'm home taking care of our DD. I have been a SAHM for 2 years and it has been a wild ride for sure, but mostly great!
I seriously don't have anyone that would watch DD enough for me to work even part time. Everyone works.
I have had two good job offers come my way since SAH, but DH almost goes into a panic at the thought of me going back to work. He knows if I was working he would have to take over half the tasks do at home, and he's scared to death of that!
Also, he believes strongly that a SAHM is the best for kids. I'm very fortunate to have his support.
We both knew I'd be a SAHM and planned for that. DH is very supportive of this and I wouldn't have been able to SAH if he wasn't totally on board.
scatteredtrees:We both knew I'd be a SAHM and planned for that. DH is very supportive of this and I wouldn't have been able to SAH if he wasn't totally on board.
This. It was a mutual goal that we discussed and planned for. We postponed TTC until we were positive that we could make this work without having to make crazy huge sacrifices. So far so good...
Daughter #1 - February 12, 2010
natural m/c March 11, 2011 at 8 1/2 weeks
Daughter #2 - January 11, 2012
Ectopic pregnancy discovered November 6, 2012 at 6 weeks
Daughter #3 - January 19, 2014
Started our exploration into the world of international adoption June 2012. We have no idea what this is going to look like but we are excited to find out!
He loves me SAH!
When we got really serious about are relationship, even before marriage, we had the conversation about kids and our values. We both felt that we would want a parent at home. He makes the most money and is going back to school for a job he will love so naturally we decided for me to be a SAHM. I have always wanted this so it worked out great!
He always says how happy he is that we decided on having me SAH so we could spend family time on his days off and one of us is at home with DS
DH likes me being at home. We've had many discussions, because, at times I've thought he felt differently (snide comments after we are both running on empty). He swears though that it is easier with me being here with our girls. They are healthier, our house is less chaotic, things are taken care of at home. And I think it makes him feel good to know he can take care of us financially. I try to be appreciative to him, and he does likewise. We respect eachother and he knows that taking care of two 10 month olds is a full time job.
To be fair, I returned from maternity leave and worked for a couple of months, we had a good baseline to go from. The girls were in daycare and I had a very good job outside the home that I loved. His job is very demanding, especially during tax season (which coincidently was when I returned)...but I knew my real desire and dream has always been to be a SAHM, we worked so hard to have our girls and I didn't want anyone else to raise them.
Let your DH spend one full day without your intervention with DS...that will shut him up. ;)
Also, do you greet him when he gets home? I know it may sound silly, or cliche...but I've found that when I make a habit of welcoming him home, giving him a hug, being genuinely excited to see him...well it sets the tone for the evening. I may have had a really hard day with DDs, and I don't know what all he stepped in with his work (he has a pretty stressful job)...but just taking a couple of minutes to stop, look at him with a smile and excitement...well it changes things. On the flip side, when I greet him with a screaming baby for him to hold so I can get some peace in quiet or a jeez, took you long enough...well, it usually does not sit well with either of us. If I can give him 15-20 minutes to unwind when he gets home he does the same for me. We both need breaks and opportunities to recharge from our full time jobs ;) difference is, as a SAHM if you don't push for them you rarely get breaks...HTH and good luck!!
MainelyFoolish:DH likes me being at home because when I'm at home he doesn't have to do any laundry, grocery shopping, errands, etc. (He does help around the house, but much less than if I worked outside the home.)
This, too. He does help out where he's needed, but I willingly take on all our family and household duties. I joke that I set the appointments and just tell him where to show up and when.
He wanted me to SAH more than I did in the beginning. When I wasn't sure, he said the most important thing was that I was happy, so he supported whatever I wanted to do. But he said that his choice would be for me to SAH
Dh and I have been together since we were 15 & 16, we had our first son a year later. We both had to start out working full time to support our family.
So we know how it is both ways. I was a working mom with my first two kids and when our third came around we crunched numbers and it no longer made sense for me to work.
Dh is very proud of himself to get us to the point to be able to afford for me to not work and have additional kids. I read an article about how having a SAHW/M was almost like a status symbol for some men, and he definitely feels that way... he'd rather have that then driving a nice car lol
He recently had a dream that I told him I had gotten a job and was going back to work and he was upset with me in his dream lol