TTC after 35

I hate waiting!!! (A long and rambling vent)

This limbo thing just sucks.  I am waiting for either a positive test or for AF to show.  This is the longest cycle that I have had in years! I just want this all to be over.  Either get pregnant this cycle or not.  Since this was the last cycle trying, the waiting is even more intense.  All tests have been negative, and I am ok with that. 

But then where is AF so that I can just get on with my life?  And when I think about it, I would be very happy with just having one child instead of two.  But I would be thrilled with two, of course.  And it would figure that it would be this month, since I just gave away all of Nathaniel's baby clothes.  (Really... just did it on Monday and Tuesday.)  It's CD 36, and I am 11dpo. I didn't take a test this morning, since I used the last one yesterday and don't want to buy any more.  I will if AF doesn't show by Saturday. 

With my most recent pregnancy, I got a positive 11dpo in the afternoon.  Faint, but it was there. I so desperately want to run to Target and get some more tests, but I am not.  I am afraid to see what they would say (either + or -.  Both scare me at this point.)

I am sorry to rant here, I just have no other women in my life that could understand how much the waiting sucks, no matter what the outcome. I hate not being able to plan other things when I don't know for sure what my next goal is.

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Re: I hate waiting!!! (A long and rambling vent)

  • Waiting does suck!  I hope that you get an answer soon either way.
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    The newest member of our family! Austin - age 4

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    Deeno - Our oldest child :)

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    Lily - Our second oldest child :)

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    Married 07/04/10 - Me 40 & DH 46 - Tried conceiving for 2 1/2 years, including IUI, but no luck. Were about to do IVF at the end of 2012, but my body started shutting down. Made the decision to have a hysterectomy in January 2013. Met an amazing little boy in July 2012 that needed a family & decided to move forward with adopting him. He has made our family complete & we are happier than we ever thought that we could be!
  • I hear you! I hate the waiting, too. We all do. So rant away. : )

    My new attitude is to take it one day at a time so I don't make myself nuts. I decided I wouldn't think or talk about the "next step" until I actually get there. Because trying to plan for something that may or may not happen is crazy-making.

    It's probably easier said than done, but if my head starts spinning off into what-ifs, I try to do something to distract myself.

    Hang in there! And good luck!

     A

    Me = 38, Husband = 31. TTC since 1/10. M/C at 8 wks 5/10. Started trying again 9/10. All tests normal: AMH/MIS, FSH, HSG, SA. Estradoil high. 6/20/11 - Clomid+Ovidrel+IUI#1=BFN. 7/17/11 - Clomid+IUI#2=BFN. 2 natural cycles = BFN. 10/6/11 - Clomid+Ovidrel+IUI#3=BFN. 10/31/11 - Clomid+Ovidrel+IUI#4 = BFN. 11/26/11 - Follistim+Ovidrel+IUI#5 = BFN. IVF#1 - Menopur+Follistim. 2 ET 5/11/12 = BFN.
  • I hate waiting, and I agree, RANT away!

    I try to focus hard on other things in my life, because those things are all still very relevant. My animals, job, family, S/O, friends all need me too.  So I definitely don't do too much planning around baby...because I used to do that and there is still no baby. So, now I just live more in the moment, but still allow myself to hope, and stress, and hope again.

    good luck! we are all rooting for ya! 

     

    ttc since 2/2010 ~
    me (36): Hypothyroid (on Levothroid), low vit. d, borderline/high fsh (day 3: between 7-10) (day 10: 13 during CCCT), AFC: 14
    dh (31): awesome (minus one sample with agglutination)
    Diagnosis:possible DOR and/or unexplained + elevated NK cells + MTHFR (C677T - one copy)

    MAY 2011 - FEB 2012 - 3 injectable IUI's with numerous cancellations due to high TSH levels
    MAY 2012 - onto IVF/ICSI (Antagonist Protocol) on BCP and Folgard (3 week delay - cyst - boooo) 5/21 start stims 5/30 ER 11R 8M 3F 6/2 3DT of 3 6/12 Beta #1 83 | 6/14 Beta #2 196 | 6/21 Beta #3 3818 | 6/28 Beta #4 22,213 | 7/2 1st U/S - 2 on board! 8/24 CVS reveals that we have a boy AND a girl on board!

    Healthy baby boy and girl born in February, 2013 at 38 weeks and 2 days!


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  • I hear ya waiting for either a +/- or AF is like time moving in slow motion. 

     

    Let it all out girl!

     

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  • Good luck while you are waiting!

    PS:  I peeked at your chart and hope that your temperature keeps going up!


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    TTC since Jan 2011,

    5 IUIs from January to October 2012 = all BFN

    IVF #1, ER scheduled for mid-December

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  • I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed that this final cycle will be it for you. I'll be thinking of you so be sure to let us know!
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  • II FEEL YOU GIRL!!!

     realllllllllllly hope you get the positive reading!! my fingers and toes are crossed for Iyou!!

    I am in the same situation. today is 12 days post 2 -- 5 day transfers.  I took a test this moring and it was negative, of course I couldnt wait for my blood test which is tommorrow. I started flipping out today b/c of the neg sign.  Some ppl say it's too early, docs say wait for blood. I just dont see how the test could be wrong??

     please fee free to vent away to me at any time!! tdinunz1818@gmail.com..

     

    wishing you lots of luck!!!

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  • Oh honey... I feel your pain. I think we all do at some point. Rant, vent, scream... whatever you need to do.

    I am 6 dpiui and it's driving me nutty. Way too early to be freaking out.

     Anyway, wishing you a positive outcome. Hugs 

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