Natural Birth

"Good Luck" - 2 words I loathe!!!!

I cannot stand hearing these two words out of other womens mouths when they ask if I plan on getting an epidural and I say "no".   If it was said in a kind "you can do it" voice that would be fine.  But it's always from moms who have had epidurals and they say it in a "you're a total fool and I doubt you can do it" tone.  It's so irritating, I never judge someone who wants to or has had an epidural.  Every body and every birth is different and it's a personal choice. 

Lastly, WHY oh WHY must other women who have recently had babies discuss all of the negative things that happened!??!?!  "I had a 4th degree tear and I'm so thankful I chose the epidural!"  or "omg it was horrible, and I would never try and be a hero (that too makes me cringe) and not get the drugs"  or when they tell other pregnant women " JUST GET THE DRUGS!!!!!!!!!"  BAHHHHH it makes me batttttttty!!!! 

I am making a promise to myself that even if something is not "picture perfect" with this birth, that I will only share the POSITIVE parts of giving birth with others!!! And really why does everyone want to know who did or didn't get an epidural? WTF does it matter to anyone else?  meh......  (can you tell I just came from a baby shower where there were a bunch of women sharing their stories!?!?! Tongue Tied

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Re: "Good Luck" - 2 words I loathe!!!!

  • I have heard the snarky "good luck" from some women at work, as well as some of my male friends!  Really? How the hell would a guy know what childbirth is like?!

    I've also had to deal with the "it's ok if you get an epidural..." comments.  Yea, I know it's ok, it's just not my plan.  I'm not telling YOU how to have a baby, why do you feel you have a say in how I have mine?  My husband & I have done the research and feel this is what's best for me and our baby.  End of story.

    I just really do not understand why people ask, then criticize my answer.  I've stopped being polite and just hit them over the head with all the research info I now have!   

    And, unfortunately, the horror birth stories don't only come from recent moms - I got one from a lady who's kids are older than I am! "Oh My God! The pain was excruciating!"  Uh, thanks.  So I completely agree with you on only sharing the positives!  Everyone knows childbirth is not easy, but it's NOT impossible! 

  • I know...it is soo annoying. Just smile and nod. Use it as fuel if you get to a point in your labor where you think you can't do it. Part of why I wanted to go natural (albeit small) was just to prove people wrong. Not that I am shoving it in peoples faces, but it is nice to be able to say YES IT IS POSSIBLE...AND I DID IT...AND I WILL DO IT AGAIN WITH MY NEXT! biooooooootch :P
  • I was reading a thread on a different (non pregnancy) message board where somebody said the cringe worthy "don't be a hero, get the epidural." I very nicely corrected her by saying "The phrase "being a hero" is in general offensive to women who are giving birth naturally. I have chosen to give birth med-free for a myriad of reasons, none of which have to do with "being a hero." " She apologized because she honestly didn't know it offended those of us who choose to go natural. So to their credit, some of these people may not mean to be offensive. The only way people will know it is offensive is if you nicely correct them.

    I definitely know what you mean about the negative stories. It seems that the negative stories are all you hear. When I hear them, I think of the part in the Hypnobirthing book about how others bad experiences don't have to become your own. It helps me to ignore them (yet pretend I am listening).

     

     

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  • I can handle the good luck - what I cannot handle is people telling me that my body is too small for anything but a c/s.  I am 5'4" and athletic, what about this makes it so that I am not capable of giving birth?  It seems to me that people just don't really think about what they're saying before it pops out of their mouths.
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  • Ugh - I hate it too. My own DAD keeps telling me I won't make it ... really dad? Because I did with my first daughter so why are things suddenly different? Didn't kill me the first time around lol.

     

  • image dyequeen:
    I can handle the good luck - what I cannot handle is people telling me that my body is too small for anything but a c/s.  I am 5'4" and athletic, what about this makes it so that I am not capable of giving birth?  It seems to me that people just don't really think about what they're saying before it pops out of their mouths.
    Ugghh I get this same thing all the time!  Here is another one that really pissed me off.  One of my really close friends said she thinks I'll go into labor 4 weeks early because my body won't be able to carry a baby any longer than that...WTF!!!!  I said, "Oh thanks, so you are projecting that we will have a premature baby.  Thanks alot!"  And she doesn't even have any kids.  I was so furious!!!
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  • I find this annoying also. I think the reason it annoys me so much is because it seems to be acceptable for women who get epidurals to criticize women who don't but heaven forbid a women who went natural say anything against getting an epidural. Could you imagine the reaction if a women said she was getting an epi and you said "good luck" in a sarcastic tone? Don't get me wrong if a women wants an epi then that is her choice and I don't really care. I just hate that there is such a double standard where women that got epidurals are able to judge women that go natural but women that do it the way it has been done for thousands of years better not say anything against getting an epi.
  • image dyequeen:
    I can handle the good luck - what I cannot handle is people telling me that my body is too small for anything but a c/s.  I am 5'4" and athletic, what about this makes it so that I am not capable of giving birth?  It seems to me that people just don't really think about what they're saying before it pops out of their mouths.

    People are so dumb.  I'm 4'10" and had my second vaginally with no problems.  A bunch of people told me I couldn't do it, but they were wrong. 

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  • Everytime I've had a baby, people assume that I'm getting the epidural.  I've never had one and I'm not starting now.   The thing that annoyed me was when I was laughed at and told that I'd be begging for pain killers. 
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  • Only a couple of people have asked me about this.  The first time I got the sarcastic "well, good luck with THAT."  I responded in an equally sarcastic tone, "Yeah, thanks for the support."  That shut her up.  

    The second time, someone asked why I didn't want an epidural, and I just said, "it's the safest choice for the baby, and for me."  That shut her up too.  Honestly, that isn't even the whole reason why I hope to avoid an epidural, I just felt like it was the quickest way out of the conversation.

    Why oh why is it at WORK of all places that women want to talk about this?

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    Oh, that is fantastic. This...this is wine. Yeah. Look what all these idiots are drinking. Look at these dicks!
    Obviously it's not really delicious, like hot chocolate or Coke, but for wine...brilliant.
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